Jennifer

I woke up the last couple mornings and was wondering, Why Buddyslim? Things have changed and I do not feel like it is my lifeline anymore. It is still one of my important weight loss tools and then I was reminded from a buddy that we are connected and we help people when we do not even know we are. I think that is important and interesting that we can accomplish so much by setting and sharing goals and doing our best to find balance AND then we can learn from and teach others - When we do not even know we are doing it. Ok, this is exciting. I know I have read many blogs since I have been here and though I have not read so much lately, I do recall that thrill of learning about others experiences and knowledge. I love this!!!

My sugar-free diet is going pretty well. I was on plan, but last night I was not perfect . Last night I had some treats (some Cheezie treats which has simple cornmeal I think, plus some unhealthy hydrogenated fat…hmmmm APPETIZING! They were so good), a small homemade protein brownie from my freezer (I WILL PUT UP THIS RECIPE SOMETIME) and alcohol. I was so proud of myself though, I had real lemon, lime, club soda and lemon gin. It was so yummy. I would not usually like those Cheezie things, but I played tennis last night when is was so hot. I was just sweating buckets…. quite the sight! Anyways, we had a little gathering on the terrace and it was fun. I am sure I could have had something healthier after my little tennis workout, but it matters not. I have had many more good days.

Towards the end of the night, my aristocratic gay neighbors for some reason were talking generally about the huge size of North American female athletes legs - “Thunder Thighs” is not a term that I appreciate for personal reasons. Female athletes ROCK!!! Anyways, men! Gay or not, they are men. The fact that they are gay should not be a factor, yet to know them, it truly is a huge part of who they are. I usually have great conversations with these friends/neighbours and will be sad when they move. I enjoy Settlers of Catan and Telepaths with them whenever. Their condo is being sold (they are renting) in this Booming time. Who knows who will move in next? Anyways, I felt bad about the longer-then-I-like thigh discussion. I was reminded of a Native Studies class as I relaxed in bed last night where Cultural Appropriation was the topic during one of the classes. And it goes like this, if you do not have the first hand experience to discuss something sacred, you do not have the right to speak of it. Well, boys, since you do not have female thighs of your own, DROP IT! Anyways, they were made aware of how it was not a good topic. I just said it was not a cool topic, it was dropped before my emotions had a chance to become engaged and also before they looked more idiotic then they did. I guess they just felt comfortable to discuss ANYTHING as I have felt really comfortable with them. It just brought me down a bit. All I could think was damn, I should not have had those Cheezie treats. Then that reminded me of how my friend Kathy and I use to pig put and then there would appear on the TV a weightloss commercial or a VERY large person. It was just a thing, a coincidence …lol I am able to step back and see that these past preoccupations are silly. Even though I did not talk about dieting with my therapist, I am seeing new and better ways to address those old ways of thinking. I appreciate the courage I had then to start and the awareness of my new thoughts now.

Well, I am doing well. I am handling things that use to just PISS ME OFF with much more grace and peace. I mean I feel, but I do not let it overwhelm me. Sometimes it is hard to see the progress. Why think about issues? Why eat healthy or exercise? Well when we stop ignoring and stop living a life of pure pleasure, good things can happen. But hey, you have to have fun sometimes! That is just good living.

I am reminded of that Body Break commercial saying “Keep fit and have fun!”

AND I LOVE MY THIGHS. They are great and improving and they will always be strong and beautiful. For me confidence is beaUtiful! I wonder if I will ever feel confident most of the time? Here’s hoping.

This site may not be my priority everyday, but it is always with me. We “get” each other for the most part. And I am so thankful for it in my weight loss journey.

Have a great weekend everyone.

P.S.: I have been enjoying the no/low sugar diet. My portions are good, exercise is up and with good variation and my emotions are clearly improved. Life is good with effort and relaxation.

[I read this tonight and I have to say I am not manic….LMAO. It is just what came out of my head this AM. ]