Jennifer

Where am I coming from?  Well, I have been in a little funk and I see some others are too.

Wah wah wah!  Yep that is the feeling sometime.  I am down because of X.  I feel good because Y said I looked great.  What a load!  I really want to get my emotions in tack.  I let people affect me.  When I am down it seems like everyone is rotten and influencing my choices.  What a bunch of bull!  I think it is high time when it seems like I am going down the path of depression I wake up and do what I need to do to SNAP OUT OF IT.  You know?  This is my life and I make my choices and people are not out to make life hell for me.  I love that saying “we have to power to create heaven and we have the power to create hell.”  We do it all the time for ourselves.  The good, the bad and the very damn ugly.  Heaven is certainly a nice place to be.  So things have not been overly crappy, but I have let things build up a little.  It is truly time to take some action.  Because as much as some just seem to be at ease with the weight loss thing, others like myself are affected with emotions and they can put a stop in the progress.

And so the Plan of Attack on the Moodies:

1: Get real.  If the world is looking really shitty or someone’s actions are ticking me off, what is it about ME that is disturbed really?  People are not the problem.  And if they are, then maybe new choices have to be made.  But really so much of our problems are really about how things are in our heads and how we are interpretting the world, I believe.  This is what I am experiencing lately.  We can chose to take on a lot that we can not deal with or we can work things out with our greater selves.

2: Keep things simple when it comes to a plan.  That is what IS working for me.  Eat well (variety, whole, be reasonable) and working out (variety, fun, and if it is not so fun, see it as something positive!)

3:  Find inspiration and let it find me.  That is, do not close my eyes to good things.

4:  Know what needs to stay and what needs to be edited.

My Sunday:  45 minutes on the Elliptical (varying my program more then usual), free weights, lunges, crunches, and I want to do something different (fun)……………..  It is raining here.  Not sure what I will do.  But my challenge for myself is to do something  possibly silly, but definitely new, fun and high intensity.  Possibly I may fall on my butt, but life happens.

Happy Sunday and I AM counting my blessings…..

Tea cheers to all!

a little P.S.: to myself - K.I.S.S.   -Keep it simple silly.  I like silly more then the traditional S is for stupid.  Nothing good ever comes from calling myself stupid.  Words for me to remember!

Well, I have not been bored this week or lost in my head and so food has not been on my mind. I kept busy, ate healthy (treats of course) and exercised including incorporating some new work outs like my Get Ripped 1000. I ate portioned balanced meals and specifically ate a little more meat/fish then usual and ate tons more Raw meals (veggies, fruit and nuts/seeds). I ate my complex carbs usually early in the day though not always and really found that oatmeal, spoon size shredded wheat and muesli are really good treats for me - I added cinnamon and a little stevia usually. Dates are too addicting to be in my house…lol Just kidding. I am learning that it is OK to have a guilt free snack right after a workout. Infact some experts even say it is darn right necessary to get some fast absorbing sugars/simple sugars (a little protein too) into your blood stream, especially after a hard workout. I read in my Oxygen Magazine last month that they recommend chocolate milk. (a portion! not the whole 1 litre! ) Fascinating!!! I bet they paid good money to have that add placed in that magazine… half joking I can not say, I LOVE chocolate milk and can NEVER have it in the house. I wonder if one day when I am all fit, will I safely be able to have certain foods in the house with out being tempted? I bet not, but perhaps? Anyways, it is fine going out for treats especially if you walk to get they hey? I might make that my goal for the coming week. If I want a treat, I have to walk to get it. My entire food and activity plan is the same so need to repeat it. It is ingrained in me…hehe

I am down on this early Friday morning. That is, I am down on the scale! I was only somewhat worried because it does happen that you can have a really good week and still not progress. I was semi-prepared….hehe. I had the measuring tape out to tell me “it is ok! You have done good things this week. Keep at it!” Anyways, this is an early weigh in for me and the scale read 157.5 lbs and so I will take 157 since I have not even gone to the washroom…. “Ahhh, the ever revealing Jenn!” Well some secrets are good kept untold hey?

I wish everyone a great weekend. I work Saturday, but do plan to get out a little and enjoy some of the events going on. All the best Buddies. *hugs*

What I have learned this week….. And I swear I love it when I am happy and smiling as I admit I am such a geek! Love it!

See what I have learned this week I must share. I have always thought it is neat to see things in different ways and try new things. I write now about finding new ways to use foods. I have spoken of Raw and how I like to incorporate more Raw foods/recipes into my day. Well this week I discovered that grated turnip (rutabaga?) in a salad has none of that turnipy taste that many hate, but provides great texture and nutrients. I am not sure what the difference is, but both me and the teller thought it was a turnip. Apparently it is a rutabaga and here I am still calling it a turnip. Whatever! It was great in a salad. I grated other veggies like carrot, zucchini, red pepper, just a small amount of purple cabbage and basil. Then I added extra virgin olive oil, balsamic vinegar, sea salt and freshly ground pepper. It was amazing. Now I love the taste of cooked turnip (with real lemon juice and pepper) now that I am an adult. Even when my Mom added brown sugar and butter I was not in love with then as a child. But I do love them semi-plain now. But for those who want to create a little variety like I do, this was a neat way to eat raw and use a pretty much hated vegetable. I am not a big fan of the lettuce salad. It bores me to death. But cut up some veggies that you love and ta da! That is how I like my salads. Pretty much different all the time too.

As well I wanted to get some kale into me, but it IS NOT my fave tasting vegetable! Sometimes my body craves green if I have not had the green for awhile. It is no different then my cravings for dark chocolate. OK, it is a little different, but wanting/needing is NEEDING! *sigh* Cravings!!! Anyways, I took raw peeled cubed beets, kale (I removed the tough middle part to make for a more smooth shake), juice of one lemon, water, hempseeds (they have omega 3-6-9, but flax is good too - I use both), dash of sea salt and plenty of fresh pepper and blended them well in my blender to make a shake. IT WAS FANTASTIC. Now I love Borscht (beet soup) so it really reminded me of this. It was so awesome. It was sweet (beets) and a little sour (lemon) and just hid the kale perfectly. The pepper was a nice touch. Anyways, I was pleased that I found a cool and Raw way to eat my veggies and specifically that somewhat nasty kale.

As for activity, I tried for the first time my new Get Ripped 1000 video. I was going to order it, then read reviews and decided against it. People said the cardio was too hard and blah blah blah…. So I forgot about it. Well I saw it in London Drugs and it was calling to me “buy me, buy me”. Anyways, I put it in yesterday and thought, OK, that was not so hard. It was really helpful that I new the basic techniques from the previous video. Coordination is something I lack until I have done something for awhile, so it was a challenge, but doable. But after I felt not much in the way of excursion. And so I felt a little down that it was easy. Well, I ate somewhat normal yesterday (maybe a little less then usual early in the day), but boy o boy, I was famished around mid afternoon on. I ate small mini meals/snacks when I could grab them as I was at work. I walked home and my goodness I was feeling muscles I did not know I had. And hungry! I got home, drank 2 small glasses of water and was too tired to eat. Each exercise in the video pushes you to use multiple muscles and though it does not seem like much, it is. It also alternates some somewhat complex movements with cardio, which seemed light. I think I might someday get a step bench, because I know that would add to the activity. Anyways… WOW. It is certainly more advanced then what I have been doing and it’s exactly what I needed to switch things up a bit.

Well, I am weighing in tomorrow. And all I can say is what ever. I am wearing my cute satin pants and looking and feeling darn right groovy. If I worry too much about numbers I will just get discouraged. I have to do what is healthy and hopefully the numbers will drop. That is where I am at these days with food and activity…. trying the new and finding some good surprises! Tea cheers to you all.

Ahhh well it is a new week and I am starting my Monday with my monthly friend. Do not get me wrong, I am glad to see him, but as we know he comes with extra weight and with me, a tightness in my back that only some good movement can cure. I was so happy to look at my schedule and see that I have today off… SWEET! Today I am continuing with some house cleaning. David and I put up a cool new closet organizer and that is so helpful because we were in closet chaos! I am finally getting to the collecting for the Grassroots Center. I have some clothes that will never fit again and some other items that I do not need anymore. For some reason I am having trouble getting rid of one large corduroy jacket. I changed the buttons on it in high school from ugly plastic buttons to metal buttons and I guess I just love it. I will never wear it, but can not let go either. Strange. It is the only article of clothing I have from the heaviest time of my life.   Anyways, I am also determined to do some Hard Body Yoga which will ironically help with my sore and tight muscles. This I know. I may or may not go to the gym to do weights tonight. I am playing it by year, but I suspect I will be going.

I am not weighing in just because now is not a good indicator of my progress. I feel like I have maintained really. I have being doing weights and eating quite a bit more then usual. I feel healthy and happy. This is likely good for that whole zig zagging thing. I am thinking about the next couple weeks and I am feeling some good movement with my ticker.

That is it. I have had a little more meat lately, but still am eating a lot of the excellent fruits and veggies that are available right now. In particular I have really enjoyed the yummy nectarines, peaches and green beans. I am keeping things balanced and it is paying off in all ways.

I wish all a great week. *hugs*

I am so incredibly thankful to my buddies here on this site. I have been in a funk, but thanks to some goodness I am back in a good place again. I have found some incentive in surprising places. And I really should not be surprised at the support here.

I have received a great challenge from a PowerPuff Buddy (Thank you Shanna). I just learned you were a PowerPuff and not a peanut butter cup. I am so out of the loop.

I am so happy to welcome a dear friend back, Lidecka. My Master!

Johanna is doing amazing things for her body and the AIDS Marathon and is an inspiration to us who care so much.

Tina, the mind is so powerful and I am sending you my strongest support and best wishes. Take care of you and your daughter, as my buddy Stephany would say. I and I say to Stephany, take care of YOU!

Some of the best information I have ever heard on this site comes from Charisse (Glorytogod) and EVERYONE should check out her current and pending info. Your metabolisms and muscles will never be the same.

I also say thanks to Nikki for her supportive self. She is so positive and lovely. I just think of her as sunshine because she radiates goodness and strength. I do believe you might have put a good dent in EE’s ass! IT is always there so we must work at it.

She is like another lovely lady, Dawnie. Her story lets us know that life is a struggle, but if you keep at it, good things happen. She has done so well for herself and is this site’s true inspiration. But she is not superwoman. She is real.

Cheers to Stacey who is making an impact in this little world of weight loss and taking care to improve herself. Love those smoothies! Good nutrition can be tasty.

Cheers to Mark who is slugging back those boring and necessary shakes and just wants his V8 and takes the bad with the good. My best wishes are with you. Luv ya babe.

And a new gal, Marge….. I do believe I could never go away, because this is my life. I am here for you and all.  We are all here for each other.  Love your wise words and your cute stories. We all need to smile more. I mean, come on, who is smiling TOO much out there??? No one.

And Kathy, may your plan come to be as you so desire it to. Make it happen! You are worth the effort. If you don’t, I will tell Myles to jump on your head to wake you up…hehe (half joke)

I also say a huge I APPRECIATE YOUR STRUGGLES and STRENGTH to a couple of my fave buddies who I will not name. I know you are struggling as we all do sometimes. Stay strong ladies. *big hugs* Do not stay in those funks. Come on here, unload and find some positivity! I know how hard it is to just forge ahead, but we can all do it.

Thank you Buddyslim.

I am being more gentle with myself in some ways and then I am a complete hard ass when it comes to all that I know will get the job done. Have a great weekend all. Have some fun.

Love you

Tiresome BS.  I am letting things get to me these days and I have completely lost my mojo.  I am moving all right, but food is getting the better of me.  I want to know what makes people succeed.  What do winners tell themselves to get to the end of the race.  Blah blah blah… This is not a race.  No kidding!  But without some determination, whiners are still whining whereas winners are celebrating.  I am not sure if WW is the place for me to lose the last few pounds or what.  Should I go back or should I not?  I just do not want to be a whiner.  I want to get this done.  I need to clean up the trash in my world, kick it to the curb and get real with myself!  I am letting too many things bother me.  There are countless things that do not matter.   Really, there are things that matter and then there are things that do not.   I need a strategy to deal with things before they happen.  Like when I experience someone’s words that are complete BS or obnoxiousness, I can implement my strategy and feel cool (as in temperature) with my plan and action.   I do feel better in that I am not getting angry, but I am inwardly going inside myself like a retreating animal and I can feel myself eating my way into a hibernating state.  Well, I see it and can not be blind or pretend it is ok.  I post it here, well now I really have to try another solution.  I am just not sure what my plan is yet, but I am thinking hard.  Ha!  (………several minutes passed)  All I know, going back is NOT an option.  Fat is not a good fit for me.  And yet without this site I would be headed that way.  Without this site, after my hard interval walk this AM followed by my excessively large breakfast with my side of self pity and anger, with out this site, I would still be wallowing in destruction and sadness.  Now, I am free from that cycle and ready to create a fresher and more positive day.  That is what I can do.  I can make it better.  I can win this race because I do have 2 Beings inside me.  They are so different from each other, but there is the Healthy, Positive, Confident ME and there is the the Self-Hating, too Highly Influenced, Negative ME.  Who is going to win the race?  (This idea of a race was inspired by a blog I read today and so I thank that competitive lady who is possibly going to race with her Mom for the more fit body.)  Today I begin my race.  I really am cheering for positivity.  I am cheering for my true me.  The me that is not influenced by the Outside Darkness.

Thank you Dr. Marc for this site.  I did a little search and this is still the best in my opinion.

Green tea with lemongrass cheers…..

Well the scale reads 159. (Down 2) I had a much better week though.

I had 5/7 great days and only 2 fairly rotten ones…. LIFE. I was on the scale Thursday and saw 155 lbs. WOW. Anyways, it was like an old friend that just whizzed by only this time I know I will see her soon.

I did okay with not eating after 7 PM. Not great, just okay. Even last night I was chomping on blueberries, strawberries and watermelon as I cut them to be portioned and frozen for smoothies. I had plain popcorn one night which is not so WW friendly, but c’est la vie. It was free of the not so good fat, but my fave, BUTTER.

I ate mostly Core or whole foods. I ate about 80% vegetarian. I do not feeling completely well, but some of my treats this weekend were a little too excessive and still sitting with me. I am completely bewildered as to why I felt it necessary to eat 100 grams of Smarties. Now that they do not have Tartrazine! YIPPY ! hehe This new information will not save my ass. I am just kidding and just having a good time with I think everything. *thinks*

David and I went to a Buffet yesterday and that was maybe one of my best meals. It really provided me the opportunity to eat well and I was a good little monkey. Raw veggies and other healthier choses like my fave beet pickles and baked beans (just a small amount as I am sure they were not point friendly) Instead of ice cream I had a bowl of cantaloupe with about one tablespoon of watered down chocolate sauce (could have done with out that ) and peanuts. I took one small chocolate chip cookie and one chocolate cookie. I did not love the latter and so I put it aside and enjoyed the smallest cookie of my life. I swear it was 1.5 inches and the cutest little cookie ever! The meal was great too… I just chose fresh things that were not battered or soaked in oil and it was great.

I just barely went over my 35 extra points with those 2 days of indulgence. But Sunday I got back and when I did get to zero I just consumed my exercise points (which I do not usually do) and felt content when I went to bed. I also went to the gym yesterday so I had a bit of an appetite. I only did upper body (arms, back and abs) as my knee was a bit funky. Thought it best to give it a break and start fresh when it is not all…. perhaps over worked. My wrist is much better. As for the exercise points, my aim was of course 28 (those who know WW know that is their goal and it is reasonable for sure) and I got in 25.

I fit perfectly into my Christmas pants from 2 years ago and bought my first size 8 pants this weekend. They are snug, but my 10s are getting roomy. So this all pleases me.

Well this is a boring blog, but necessary for evaluation. I just figured recognition and accountability are important for carrying on with the good and attempting to correct some things. Not all things, but just some. I think for me it is unrealistic to aim for 100 % perfection My plan is the same.

My Plan:

Aim for vegetarian with complete proteins and many veggies and fruits.

Water of course and enjoy my many teas for variety.

Eat before 7 PM unless famished. Stick to fruit (not bananas) and veggies. I am sure this week I will have a craving for a banana just because I said no banana. And like my leader said at WW a long time ago, who cares if the small banana is counted as 1 or 2 points. Bananas did not get us fat!!! Ha…. I love that.

I am doing fine without ice cream and high fat dairy so I carry on with the low dairy. (I learned this week that an alkaline diet will allow for better absorption of foods that contain small amounts of vegetarian source calcium. This interests me as we always hear we need 1000 mg of Ca. from dairy products. Must research more….hehe) I will indulge a little in my low fat feta though. There are just somethings you have to have!

24 points per day with my 35 extra (which I will try and conserve) and work out 28. I think I might try the fitness buddy thing with the lady who inspired me this weekend. I need motivation is this area. I really want to get into a routine of interval walking regularly. But also what I learned from another Buddy, we can do the little things in our day to add extra movement. It does not have to be all planned. Just seize the moment and make it count. So I want to work on both of these things.

Well that is my week in review and today is the start of a fresh new week. All the best to everyone.

I am writing this post because I was inspired by one of the neatest people I have ever met at Buddyslim. Oh my, there are so many wonderful people here though. She knows who she is (not sure if she wants me to say here name) as she wrote me the coolest, bravest and longest letter ever. She is so like me. We have both felt stuck. We both are afraid to get educated in our passionate “fields” because weight is on our minds and fear is debilitating. And we both are brave and jump at the chance to speak when we just feel so crazy it’s like it might hurt something terrible if we do not. What a special lady. Thank you for your letter. I bet this sounds like so many of us here, hey?

What sometimes we do not seem to appreciate is how difficult it is to just get started. I felt like the weight of the world was no longer on my shoulders, August 15th (I think that was the date), 1994 when I moved away from the only environment I knew. I was 250 lbs at that time, but things were better. I was in a new city and at school, away. With in 2.5 months I dropped 50 lbs when I was not even dieting. I mean to say I was not trying. It took me over 10 more years to get to this point and so food was not my only problem. Maybe it is okay to let people know that time and space is what is needed. Getting those ducks in order is crucial. Nice nice only works until it doesn’t! Or maybe it never did but we were pretending it did. Blah blah blah……And so struggles…. LIFE.

I feel like I am always getting started, but I forget what it was like to be that 18 year old I was or what it is like for those who are just starting out here and have many pounds they wish to lose. It is a journey and IT DOES NOT BEGIN WITH DIETING. What we consume, what we do to move our bodies toward a happier place and what inspires us to be more gentle with ourselves is a personal thing. But bullshit fad diets are not the answer!!!

If you are starving, cranky and exercising like a nut because of your “diet/routine” your body is headed towards disease. All these Extreme behaviors are stressful on the body. (There is nutrition info. for those training hard and that is different. There are some good ones out there.) BUT, our bodies are very forgiving and if we take care today and do what is good such as reasonable food and exercise then our health is our reward. No treats. No new clothes. The reward is good health. I recently learned that my knowledge can be some what intimidating to some. But there are NO excuses to not get educated about proper nutrition. I am not talking about strange foods and “eat this only and lose X lbs in 2 weeks”. BULLSHIT! I am talking balanced meals with carbohydrates, protein and good fat. And yes, know your faves and have them IN MODERATION. The knowledge is out there and it is inside of us too. We must never forget that we have so many answers inside.

As for therapy, IT ROCKS. I love it. When we get real with ourselves, weight and stress fall right off. I no longer have any more sessions, but I know if need be, I can pick up the phone. But mostly I have come to a good place where I have tools. This site is a great tool. And what does it take? It takes the courage to just explore yourself and get educated. Move more and eat well! This site is a tool, but you have to rely on yourself too. If someone who you have connected with is gone, so be it. Life happens. But you have yourself and that is forever if you can handle it. It is so true, sometimes I need to have just a little break from even myself

As for self awareness, I think you have to know your ailments and educate yourself. I tried the professionals, but my knowledge comes from personal experience, the internet and books. There is nothing special about what I know. I just did not ignore my ailments when doctors were saying it was all in my head. I believe the average GP gets about 1-7 days nutrition info. in med. school (maybe things have changed, not sure), so know this, you know more then they do. We are ignorant to about most things in our society and while that does not help us as a whole, we sure as heck can give ourselves a better chance if we look to ourselves first and get with the educational experience. What can I do today to improve my health TODAY? And so forth.

I do believe that I was inspired on this fine Sunday. Tea cheers and all the best this coming week.

Hugs 2 U !

Well I do well with eating by myself but I need to be a little more okay with eating the food I want with others. It is hard to seem like a nut around others. I guess food should not be the emphasis. Just eat well as it is fuel. Who cares, it is the company/conversation that matters, yes?

I did not do so well last night, but it was one night. I am back on plan today and will weigh in Monday I guess. Eating well and having fun… That is right I am avoiding stress at all cost.

Since I am up I might as well head out to the Farmer’s Market for some catnip for Oscar. I went shopping so I am all stocked up with good foods. There is no reason to eat junk. And certainly emotion is something that today I am handling with a good walk and weights. I need to feel pumped! lol

Question: Why do we show people we love them with food? Why do people sometimes show us they love us with food? Just some thoughts I am working through so that I can improve. I can not mend the world, but I do have this life to enjoy and myself to improve. I was away for 4 suppers, then went over board and did not know the value of the meal that I prepared. It was downhill from there. But it is all good now. I am the captain of my ship and ready for the icebergs and the sunshine.

Well I am back to my plan. It’s as simple as that. It’s there, I know it and I am doing it!

This week has been amazing. I am eating when I am hungry and feeding myself good food- I would guess it has been 90% whole food. I had some foods like feta cheese and milk chocolate, but everything is good. It was just a little and I have been recording all that I eat. No cheating. There has been no craziness. I love that I made a commitment to myself and I have been right on. I never wanted perfection. I just wanted to see results and feel good. Wow…. this is the place I want to be.

I love the fact that with what I am eating I no longer need to drink so much water. A normal amount of fiber (about 25 grams/day) and a good diet are working for me. My electrolytes are great. It has been a sweaty week but I have been enjoying activity and drinking and eating things that have sea salt/sodium. What strikes me as interesting is how as over weight people (technically I now have this BMI that states I am in a healthy range, but now I just deal with my ever decreasing but still hanging skin/fat) can not tell what is too much or when they should stop. Metabolism is a tricky little function with in all of us, because they do not operate the same for everyone. There are just some foods and and some activities that rev us up more then others. Some foods just weigh us down where others provide us with energy to go and go and go. I have to believe that our bodies do tell us what is right. Are we listening? I did well this week. But some weeks I just ignore the signs of Bad Food. For me in my life I have felt the following - sore joints at a young age, infections, fogginess, sadness/depression, constipation and irritability. I am happy to say that the only thing I have experienced is some soreness in my hip if I do not stretch enough before and after my heavier activities or workouts. Well I attribute this extreme awareness to a book I once read. I was in a place where I was making bad decisions left and right and so I found a book by Laura Day, read it and life has never been the same. We are intuitive beings naturally. I have seen it. But sometimes in life things happen to test our strength. So, get back up and move forward! *puts in pocket*

That reminds me of my client. Sure she is 92 years old, but I am not about to let her get away with being nasty because of her status, her age or her illness. I have become at ease with her lately because of a confidence that I have pulled out of the closet. It is a little shabby, but still good. I respect her and will talk to her with complete respect, honesty and frankness where others just ignore her rudeness or get upset with her. She does not mean to be rude. It is partly due to the onset of dementia, but also due to an ever decreasing ability to do for herself. We all get frustrated, but it is a gift to be able to help and then also be able to let others help oneself. This type of friendship is a circle I believe. So why did I not drop her as a client when others did? I like the challenge. Could be. I see the potential in all human beings to be the best that they can be. (I love Phyllis an Michael on Y&R above ALL other characters on that show…lol)  I think she is fantastic!   Special friendships allow for disagreement and an existence without war.   But mostly, I see struggles and I just want to heal. That is the truest me I have even let anyone see. I know I can not always help, but if I do not try it is like saying I do not care.

I wish everyone a happy and healthy weekend where you feed your self (body and spirit) with all the compassion and kindness that YOU deserve. Tea cheers……