Jennifer

I am no longer feeling empty, lost, frustrated or overwhelmed.  I attribute this to easing up a little on myself and The Art of Happiness.  I am just so much more calm.

Food is not something I am feeling the need to control.  I am eating healthy and trying to respect myself more.  It began last night with a little test.  I was watching the Food Network and they had this show on how certain candies are made.  I was so exhausted after work and hungry actually.  It was late and I had just watched how to make a Snickers bar.  Well the corner store is right behind the condo and it seemed so appealing.  But no I refrained.  I did not deny the hunger since I was actually feeling that my glands were sore and I forgot all of my veggies at home.  They really fill me short term and I FORGOT them.  So, hunger!  Well I walked into the kitchen and grabbed some All bran Buds and Shredded Wheat (bite size) cereal with cinnamon and soymilk.  I had that desire for sweet so I added a little stevia.  It was wonderful.   The night before I did better as I grabbed a bowl of snap peas.  But, food was necessary.  I have to correct my walking in the forum, but I actually walked 2 x 60 minutes yesterday and I was famished.  This AM first thing I went for another 90 minute walk.  I would have done more, but my body was saying TAKE A BREAK …lol  So I was a good girl and listened.  It was a bit crazy because five minutes early the Dali Lama (on my MP3 player) was saying that we need to listen to our bodies and not ignore the signs of distress.   Good advice for sure. 

So, exercise is keeping me happy and well.  Not so focussed on the scale.  It does tell me that I have eaten a lot or drank a lot or too little, but it can not measure my muscle vs. my fat.  So I am relying on clothes and my muscle tone.  I LOVE muscle!  The flappy thighs (what a picture!) are there and getting better and better.   This weekend I am going heavy on the weights.  It is the only thing that will help.  I can see the muscle when I pull the skin back and my legs are small…lol  Weights, pilates, yoga and cardio… that is where it is all.  My favorite pilates VHS tape has been played A LOT and it died.  Tried to buy one on Ebay (VHS or DVD), but there were none, so David downloaded it.  Did not feel bad because you can not buy it anymore.  Also… today I treat myself to a full body pampering….Exfoliating Scrub and oils - lime to start my day and lavender at the end of my day.

I feel relaxed and THAT is true success for me.  I know that it is wrong to seek validation from outside sources, but since I have been listening to the Art of Happiness, I really really feel like I am good and doing good with my life.  Yes I desire change but it is just such a test to be open to what it is that I need to be open to.  Lately, it has been hard to deal with some of the stressors (people, me-procrastination…. *sigh*) but more recently I see that I need not get upset because it really only hurts myself.  I can not afford to live in fear or with worry.  Where does it get you?  A big No Where!  Gotta enjoy the moment and all the goodness and lessons… this is where I am Now.

Health and happiness…..

*hugs*