Food desires: Moderation & Balance
Work was incredibly strange yesterday. My client may have an infection and is hallucinating. Very strange to be around the delusional, LET ME TELL YOU! Hope today is better since she will have taken 3 antibiotics. *fingers crossed*
Need to share a quick revelation I had. Food yesterday became the enemy, well it felt like that. By avoiding foods and seeing foods even for a brief time as “bad” I have in the past couple of days started to want the not so good and not even want the healthy foods that I usually want (I COULD NOT EAT VEGGIES YESTERDAY? LOL… Call the insane asylum because I think I have lost it myself 
) But seriously, I figure that since I have been home I have been wanting those things that I told myself were bad over Christmas. Whether it is mental or chemical (both?) I do not know, but I KNOW that keeping a balanced approach to my intake is essential for controlling cravings. I will not be denying myself anything. It is all about moderation and balance.
I started to think about the little food fantasy I had the other day with the red wine, cheese, fruit, dark chocolate and meat of some kind (chicken, beef, shrimp…whatever) for our treat meal. WHY was it such an intense fantasy and why did I want it so bad? All those foods have nutritional value and though some have more then others, they are nonetheless good. Thinking that they were naughty foods made them appealing but it did not make them evil. Sure the wine and the cheese are sometimes foods, not everyday food/drink, but labels only create havoc in my head. I found my Good Place last night when yesterday I was wanting wanting wanting and realized this is about keeping things real and level. No doubt over the latter part of my holidays when I was denying myself good and a little not so healthy fat, my body felt a little fearful or lacking. Because since I have been home it has been ALL ABOUT THE FAT. Well I know why and things are going to be just fine.
Things happen always at the right time I think. There are no mistakes I have heard people say. With 30 minutes left in my shift, why is it that I turned to a channel I never watch to watch a show I have never seen about people who overeat. Not sure what the program was, but I believe it was on TLC. Very interesting. Within 10 minutes I had unraveled my cravings and the reasons. I had so much in common with them except that I have learned a few things about myself over the years. Like when I am around people with food issues, mine that I fight so hard to deal with are SO CLOSE to me. They never go away. But luckily when I am just with myself, I can see the light and feel good again.
For the life of me I can not tell you why I ate when stressed in high school. Just not sure. But on the show experts said that it can be a learned behavior and certainly I have seen my Mom do it. Stuff and stuff and stuff more food. Well I have had that urge since I have been home and it’s a desire that I could not stop UNTIL I saw 600-800 lb people (some bed ridden) talking about their uncontrollable urges and their lives. My unhealthy desires are gone!
Recognition.
Moderation & Balance.
Jen, I think you are so right ! I think that’s why I chose Weight Watchers . Everything in moderation ! I hope you have a great day ! Kimmi
Unbelievable Jennifer, I think we watched the same show. It was sad…sad and really gave me a wake up minute. People that size have such pain emotionally, I’m convinced of that.
Its funny how you explain the “food fantasy” becasue we shouldn’t have it, we want it even more. Isn’t that so true with everything in life?
Glad you can put it down in words because I think it really helps to read it. It helps me when you share these thoughts…so much of it really hits home.
Hope your client is better, must be horrible to go through that, your client and you!! love ya!!
Ahh yes, the show was called “I eat 33,000 calories a day” and it was on TLC. Apparently it is not on again on this station this month. Would have loved to see the whole show though.
I have seen that show. A real eye opener. I, along with many others find that when we tell ourselves we can’t have something, we want even more. I wish I knew how to reverse that one! Good luck at work today. I hope your client is better for both of your sakes. Think healthy thoughts today and have a good one!
I wish I had seen that. I think food can be such a bad addiction, and we just crave it and crave it, goes so in had with our emotions. Sure hope your client is better, hang in there, hugs! Kama
i, too, am into the no denying and no depriving, but attempting moderation and balance camp. it really seems to be my only way otherwise the cravings, the binges, the DESIRE gets SO big. i do alwys remember from meditation though that desires are just that and they too will pass, just like our thoughts do. it’s when we hold onto something that it becomes suffering.
“I will not be denying myself anything. It is all about moderation and balance.” I think you found yourself an AH-HA moment!! One of things I will try NOT to do this year is overanalyze everything and enjoy discovering and learning new things, just as you have today. Insight is empowering–isn’t it?
Cookies don’t kill us. It’s EATING cookies what kills us. hehe.
Let’s not make monsters out of food, OK?
I found for myself that FEAR of getting fat does not sustain my weight loss for a long time, although it might serve as a great kick in the butt. What helps is enjoying not having to think about enemies, wars, and me being a loser in that war.
Hugs,
Tatiana