Jenn

Well it is the beginning of the month and I see so many things that are different about myself. I love how I am so much more calm with out the scale. I mean at times my clothes have been tighter and mostly this is salt and one to many steamed milks from the corner store (as some know I use unsweetened soy only because my stomach is a bit crampy sometimes and I bloat up like a balloon..lol) Still once in awhile + 1, it is a nice treat. So I feel good though. I do have a bit of arthritis (in my chest so the doctor tells me and also in my joints, they tell me!) which I am taking some Ibuprofen for on occasion and trying to watch my diet. But even healthy foods aggravate my joints (I have done my research and realize that I need moderation with even those good foods). I am sure going so hard with the exercise last week did not help and of course the nasty cold hinders me too. I am sure the excess weight for years HAS NOT HELPED! *Sigh* So, lots of things are contributing, but I see an end to it all…. I hope I can say for this week I really eased up a bit on the intensity of the cardio. And things are cool. Might alternate intensities - Wk 1:high, Wk 2:low, Wk 3: high………. See how that works for my aging joints Ahhh tis life, we must face it and do our best, right? I do believe Marge has some good ideas about diet. Vegetarianism creates such a wonderful alkaline state for the body and this is so good for arthritis. I know. Just have to implement the wisdom into my life so my joints can be cool and hopefully forgiving.

So the organization of my recipes has taken a bit of a break. Thank you by the way for all your thoughts and ideas. Greatly appreciated I know I will get back to it on the weekend. I see some cool things with my thinking. Well I think they are cool because when I see newish thoughts or insights into myself I always feel so empowered and at ease. It is that lost unknowing that can really get to me sometimes. So, I look at my life with food and I see 2 Me’s. I see a me who actually really loves food and all the pleasure it brings. When it is all about the food, people, new flavors, visually pleasing food, I love and see that I am in love with it….hehe Sounds strange, but it is not much different then how I feel when I meet a new person and have a wonderfully stimulating conversation - even if it is just about politics…hehe. This has happened a few times. So, food is no different. LOVE the experience. But then there is the Me that LOVES and feels alive and vibrant with healthy things going in. If it is organic and whole, raw veggies, fruit, seeds, nuts, fish, I feel like I am ENERGIZED. It is like I literally can feel the life healing me and making me feel alive with their many good nutrients and enzymes. I must not try and change myself here. Tis futile! LOL… I have to go with it and appreciate both aspects. So the big thing that I saw when I was going through all these recipes, which I enjoy, was that I felt like I had a pleasurable time or had these food fantasies as I looked at many of the pictures. It was like, ok, I am done and I did not want and want after it at all. I guess I am content and not depressed, but it was fun to get ideas, feel that old satisfaction but not feel like I needed to cook…. was not hungry…lol  I am not clear as to how to really describe it, but it seemed to be like a mindful buffet where I was able to in my mind experience it all, but without the calories.

I should say I have also started reading a new book that is a bit raunchy but mostly fun and enlightening. “The Tuesday Erotica Club” is a good read. I recommend. Actually when I can get through a book in 2 readings, it is a good book…lol Mostly about strong woman, friends and feminism. Well I read too much non-fiction. Will be checking out this new author for sure. Does anyone know her work (Lisa Beth Kovetz) and know of others like it? I do believe I enjoy being fictionally entertained Who knew!!!

There is a lot of greatness to be discovered once the treasure box is opened.  Even knowing approximately where it is is a heck of a lot better then being lost in the deep dark woods. Listen to the worthy voices and words, discard the rest !!!

Took my measurements this AM just to have a clue…lol and my hips and waist are about the same (30/39), but my pants are a bit snug. Weird. Well, patience, exercise, good food that feeds the body and a little to feed the spirit/mind, good thoughts, loving me……… For the first time in my life I look at my body and there is some darn good shape. Love my muscles and how things are shaping up! —–> LOW SELF ESTEEM FEMALE….hehe I am finally seeing things as I have always hoped I would.

Off to have my tea…. chamomile peppermint this AM. Hope you have a great day and a lovely weekend.

And as my first buddy would always say, TAKE CARE OF YOU