Jennifer

What I have done lately instead of eating when bored or stress….

1. received and/or gave a massage…. good way to unwind

2. read a new book

3. went for a walk along a different path…surrounded be beautiful trees and well, mud lol

4. study… oh yeh that was a fun one… productive is good too…lol

5. watched something interesting of TV that was not the news or depressing

6. made jewelry

7. exercise whether it was intense (cardio or strength training) or light (yoga or pilates)

8. give me a prize, I DID NOT CLEAN ONCE when I was stressed. Chose exercise or something else and that was so much better for me. Cleaned later or on another day.

9. I breathed. Felt the air in me, let it all go and found the moment.

10. did a little clean up on the terrace (that is FUN cleaning…hehe) and started thinking about what I want to plant. I think mostly herbs with a few flowers. Just keeping it simple this year.

OH and sometimes I snacked, but these are some of the things I did to try and not snack when I was not hungry.

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So invited the peace over for a visit and it is so strange! Everything seems so much more pleasant. Though I still feel some pressure in various aspects of my life, slowly this journey is becoming more and more enjoyable. But really with peace came perspective. OR, did the perspective come first? Ha!

I am reading my text books for my course and also In Defense of Food. It is a great and eye opening book for the adventurous though it is tough to read because the author is a bit rough. Right on the mark, but rough. Might comment more on it later. It was recommended by a friend so I thought I would give it a whirl. It made me see that I am seeing food in the worst possible way. There is no exact and correct science. In fact science has wanted to create an idea that it KNOWS, when it knows perhaps at best a little more then the average person. But mostly, if we eat close to what the Earth gives us, then it is so hard to go wrong. Well of course we can eat too much (did that lately) and not eat enough greens (have done this too) but mostly eating should be common sense. The answers are not outside myself. There is not a diet that is correct for me because what is good for me is what my body knows. It always tells me what I need. Now sometimes I feel the wanting……. That rarely ends well. But, live and learn.

I woke up the other morning from a dream and in it the cancerous cells had returned. Well I did not feel so anxious or worried, but I did feel a little more like eating well. Did I feel worried that I did not know how to heal myself? No. My stress from a variety of sources and inability to deal properly is that thing I want to work on. Sure chemicals are toxic for my body when consumed in large quantities, but I am my own worst enemy when I do not deal or when I let things irritate me. So, as much as I feel I have done well, this is still something I continue to work on.

The anxiety is no longer quite as strong. I mean my body does not freak when irritation comes over me, but I still have a ways to go. I have taken some situations and really looked at them I when I am eating well and exercising and I so much better at dealing.

Will post my food journal here as it was not working a couple weeks ago. Thought I would just give it another try since Dr. Marc asked what was happening. Seems to be working well now. Just would not let me edit, but the bugs seem to have been worked out. Perhaps my tension was messing with the outside world. When I re-read A New Earth I will be actually doing the meditation exercises this time. Not a good idea to skip the important parts even if it seems time consuming. These things are good for me, I KNOW. *rolls eyes* Jennifer deserves to RELAX and it makes my outside world that much more peaceful too.

I have been exercising my body well and my clothes are fitting so much better, even if that scale number is up. If my joints are not inflamed (I have learned that anti-inflammatories are really not for me and thank god I have not used them for so long….so diet is my means of achieving healthy joints) and my clothes are fitting better and better, then this is my measure of progress. The scale is such a joke. I mean I am happy to report that when I look at it, I really just smile and say, nope, not today and feel so awesome about myself.
Missed you all, but it was good to get focussed and figure somethings out. Studying is going well. *hugs*

Have a great weekend/week.

Food Log

Still not working. I had just a quarter of a cup of rice in my rice pudding…. c’est la vie! It will not let me fix it. Is it telling me I should have 1 cup? LOL… I do not think so.