Jennifer

Happy Fourth of July tomorrow to all my Buddies and Buddyslimmers south of the border. Cheers!

The Moment

The moment when, after many years
of hard work and a long voyage
you stand in the center of your room,
house, half-acre, square mile, island, country,
knowing at last how you got there,
and say, I own this,

is the same moment when the trees unloose
their soft arms from around you,
the birds take back their language,
the cliffs fissure and collapse,
the air moves back from you like a wave
and you can’t breathe.

No, they whisper. You own nothing.
You were a visitor, time after time
climbing the hill, planting the flag, proclaiming.
We never belonged to you.
You never found us.
It was always the other way round.

Margaret Atwood

I found this poem and I liked it very much, so I thought I would share. I can not control anything and of course this applies to nature, like the poem says. But I also must be gentle with myself and I think I am really starting to get that I do not do well when I am attempting to control food either. I mean I eat a nice amount for the moment and that is it. I relax and enjoy, savor and be right there with that food. This is an ideal day, of course.

This is a struggle for the emotional eater. That is what I would have called myself before, sometimes anyways, but that is a useless label. I am no longer going to see myself as that label. No wishing for anything but that moment where I am me, what ever me means. This applies to all things though. Acceptance for what is, surrendering, non resistance, peace…… Everything hairy scary in my life seems to become light and workable when I just let go. Why did I think I needed to hold so tightly to those thoughts, ideas and behaviors? Hmmmm….. The need to be a certain other way to improve is EVERYWHERE.

Ha! *180 degree turn* Maybe it’s because I was around some new, mature (older) ladies last night at the book club that I could see that there is light at the end of this crazy weight loss tunnel. They seem more at peace with their imperfections then I do. Sure they want to be there best, but they are not consumed anymore (as they said). They have the same desire as I do, which is to grow mindfully and spiritually. Maybe with just a little thought and much laughter, it all can come together. I feel so thankful for the support and kindness. It was somewhat like Buddyslim, but it was an in-person gathering brought together because of a book.

Good times………

So what am I doing to get it done with regards to weight loss?

Well being on a team and weighing in was my way of stopping the madness. I needed something new and felt alone. It had nothing to do with Buddyslim or a lacking of people. It was just my perspective which was indeed off and I was in need of Different.

So happy to have my first book club get together at a downtown cafe tonight. Improvements, self growth and fun times. I am excited! I remember when I first read the Tuesday Erotica Club and I just wanted a book club….a real life gathering. Can’t wait.
I do what I can with my knee still wanting to be a pain sometimes. There are some great challenges and I am listening to my body. I have gotten frustrated at times because it does not seem like enough and David is here to say, you are doing what you can and that is more then some do. Well I know plenty here who are also doing their best. So, good for us…hehe.

I have been relaxing, meditating a little and enjoying some flowers. Painting soon, soon, soon. I need that brush in my hand and I WILL find some time this week or beginning of next. We have a house guest coming Friday and I am very much looking forward to this.

All a part of working on my mind, body and spirit. Now, back to the reading….

I KNOW, no matter what I think about myself or anything, it is just thoughts. I am more then I know and the only thing that matters is concentrating on the moment as to do my very best. In a much better mood thank goodness.

Have a great day everyone.