I feel different.
The journaling has been good. But what I am most impressed with is how my mind has calmed a little. I have been really anxious about the whole dieting mentality and hence this has lead me to open my eyes to new things (The Book, the only book, Intuitive Eating and the Joy of Silence). I am often racked with all kinds of hormones this time of the month, but this time when I wanted salt and chocolate I went with it. BUT I AM EATING WITH TRUE AWARENESS AND ACCEPTANCE. It is not the irresponsible eating that we call binge eating. Rather it is healthier view of food and myself where I did not judge the food or try to hide myself. Truly my emotions change like the wind, but this moment has been coming. Anything worth having comes with a preliminary hell. I will keep doing what I know is correct for my form and for my mind. That which is Beyond me is a comfort because I do not need to know the plan. I just need to do what I know is True. These are the challenges I face. I know I have to do things and change is always scary.
My goal this week is to NOT hide behind food or use food to cause me to feel like a failure. This week I feel Everything. I have learned so much about myself by being present with the Silence and the emotions of loneliness and I could not have asked for a better teacher then the stillness of the moment. Also, I need to get my own copy of Intuitive Eating so I can mark it up.
I really enjoyed watching all the Olympics this weekend. There is a quality with in each athlete that is truly magical. Just one example, but watching that woman from Romania (Constantina Tomescu-Dita) just run and run and press on and on was truly inspiring. How is it that some have that drive and others just do not? Not everyone has great roots to inspire this strength, so what is it? Where does this belief in oneself come from? How does one become a believer in oneself? Just some thoughts I am having right now……..
Ok, my stomach is telling me it is breakfast time….
Before I go, the scale says a gain, but this is so far from the truth. GEORGE! My body is so different and this is due to exercise….walking and strength training. I am so thankful for all that my body does. I will do my best to respect it so that it might continue to provide me with this much loved movement. I am sending out a big thank you to my physical body! *THANK YOU*
Have a great week everyone! I will be back next Sunday. (I have updated my profile too.)
I am so much more at ease with myself since I gave up counting the calories. I eat for nutrition, pleasure, joy. I believed I could do a walk/jog around the block and did, twice now. This is something truly amazing as I lack self-confidence in myself in everything I do. Have a great week.
Still loving your attitude Jennifer. What do you mean you’ll be back next Sunday? did I miss something are you going on vacation maybe?
If you get a minute let me know k?
Love ya…have a great Sunday!!!
Wow! I was taken aback by this statement “That which is Beyond me is a comfort because I do not need to know the plan” What an awesome attitude of acceptance! How trusting! I will keep this thought with me, it not only applies to food. Thank you!
Have a good week Jennifer. There is nothing beyond you because you are everything and everything is you. We are all connected and it’s already okay.
Keep taking it moment by moment and i bet that self acceptance will stick around at least for some moments. i think that is how it works. the more we are present the less we are anxious. you are always in such an interesting path - peace to you!