Jennifer

 Nasty little puss!!!

 

Little freaky….

 

 

This candy and me alone in one room.  NOT going to happen.  

 

Other creepy/scary things……

My Date with a burger:

I really, really enjoyed my first (notice I did say NOT last) Big Bacon Classic last night from Wendy’s.  I mean I enjoyed it so much.  I do believe this is because I was so hungry and I did not wolf it down.  I savored every bite and when I was done, I felt great.   Priming a bathroom is active work….bending, stretching.  So, we ate out (our bad!!!) but I ate without guilt and without worries.  It was heaven and it is darn right creepy I found heaven in eating that and yet I still feel good about it.    Seriously, it is like a BLT with cheese and beef (no mayo - only because I do not like it goopy and half the onions).  YUM.  David was SO shocked I loved it.  So why is this so weird for me?  I do not usually feel like I want red meat.  It just does not appeal.  Last night I ate without judgment and I feel terrific (Intuitive Eating influence).  Today I eat with more intention and move my derriere!  More veggies for me…. today I want a nice salad.  It is nice that I can go with the flow and let my intuition determine my intake.  Can I lose weight this way?  A burger a couple times a month, eating healthy and  portion-minded…. Today I feel acceptance of my body.  Have not felt this lately.   I just choose to tighten things up a bit…. I love my thighs.  I love my thighs today!   

Today I paint the bathroom ‘kitten white’.  Yesterday (and lately)  I was so exhausted (for a variety of reasons, some unknown and creeping me out), get this, I let DAVID decide the bathroom color.  He chose ‘kitten white’ and I said, OK.  Hopefully this choice was not made hastily…..lol  We have been thinking about it forever and a day!!  I just could not decide.  I AM NOT PAINTING OVER IT.  Primer is NOT as thick as I think it should be I swear!  :)  Anyways, it is safe and I think we will LOVE our little spa retreat when it is finally done.  It will be done tonight I believe. 

Like I said, random and creepy……

Some freaky guy who is everywhere in my city – along the walking path sitting on the bench watching people go by and occasionally taking pictures with his big camera, once was at my work, has walked through our parking lot where we live, saw him at the Mac’s store behind our condo.  Though I usually see him in the cooler weather, I did see him that once walking with really really short shorts and pimp sunglasses.  Clearly he lives in my area.  Why is it that when you fear something or someone it is ever occurring?  Ok, I am somewhat paranoid, but it’s creepy!

 

Creepy and cool – “Don’t leave me.”  Says a woman I was caring for 2 weeks before she dies.  I feel it was a blessing that I was there with her when she finally went to a better place, but still…..maybe eerie more then creepy.

 

“GET OUT OF HERE OR I WILL…. *Falling to the floor with still that death glare* KILL YOU!” – 90 year old out-of-control client with dementia at 3AM.

 

Creepiest thing a guy ever said to a girl – “I just finished dinner and I thought it would be good dessert to gnaw on you.”   OK, I made this up.  The actual line delivered to me on my answering machine was “I just finished dinner and I thought it would be good dessert to talk to you.”   Haha…. Now which is creepiest?  Haha.. clearly I have the creepier mind.  He was  a cutey and very well behaved.

 

Creepy cool line in a movie – “I want to crack your head open and see what’s inside” (Jake Jyllenhaal in The Good Girl”).  I guess this makes me creepy for thinking this, but Jake is so cute and strange in this movie.

 

Sign that reads – “Trespassers will be eaten!”

 

When someone on a blog was asked what the meaning of life is - “Life is meaning less. You live, you learn, you get married, you had kids, you grow old, and you die. Life is meaning less.”  YIKES the cynicism of today’s youth!  lol  Anyways, tis creepy that when I have gotten into my funks, I think this way too.

RED RUM !!! - Love Jack!

 

Some creepy facts from “1001 horrible FACTS: A yukkopedia of gross truths about everything” by Anne Rooney

 

In the 1800s, it was common to mix ground bones into flour to make it go further.  (My thought is – animal bones? – how is this different then gelatin capsules or Jello?  Or was it not animal bones? YIKES.)

 

Honey is bee vomit.  Bees drink nectar from flowers which they turn into honey before sicking it back up to store in the hive.  (To all vegans or anyone ones who does not eat honey, Yah for you.   I guess it is the bees who might be laughing at us….hehe.  I love honey!)

 

There is a cheese called cabrales and when it is ‘con gusano’ it means it is crawling with maggots.  YUCKO!

 

In 1971, a man found the head of a mouse in a bar of chocolate.  (Poor mouse!  What a way to die. You just know there is a scary ghost mouse flying around torturing some chocolate factory employees!)

 

Marmite, an English spread for toast, is made with left-over yeasty sludge from brewing beer. Grief!

 

Yeast is tiny fungi (mould), present in bread, bear and wine.  The yeast eat sugar in the ingredients, making the gas which forms the bubbles in beer, wine and the holes in bread.

 

The Aztec dish tiacatalalli was a stew made from corn and human beings.  -all righty then!

 

Shiokara is Japanese dish made by fermenting squid in old fish guts.  (I love sushi, but me thinks this is not for me!)

 

And may you have no creepy crawlies in your meals today!  Hehe.

 

And I must not forget Dru!

 

Drusilla:  ”I met an old man.  Didn’t like him.  He got stuck in my teeth.  But then the Moon started whispering to me… All sorts of dreadful things.”  (from Buffy the Vampire Slayer)  - I love Drusilla.  She’s a vampire character and is drop dead gorgeous and oh so hilarious, but the words she speaks can be deadly creepy.

 

Spike is not so bad himself ;)  (Note: Spike is the opposite of creepy…hehe.  My opinion.)

All things creepy can appear beautiful and all things beautiful can be creepy, disguised.  

And though it is early, Happy Halloween !!!

 P.S.: Apparently Buddyslim is creepy too because it placed this blog second after my last blog post on my homepage.  Gremlins I tell ya!

 

 

Festive Literature –

 

http://listverse.com/literature/top-10-creepiest-tales-of-edgar-allan-poe/  -the literary crafter of creepy….  Great find and I thought I would share.

So I found a fantastic new show (new to me) and I love that it is only 20 some minutes to watch one episode and yet it is nearly 20 minutes of smiling and laughing and this feels so wonderful.   Increased SEROTONIN !!!

The Big Bang Theory is so fantastic!!!  I laughed my behind off. 

It is early to talk about my experience with St. John’s Wort, but I like it.  I do not take it early in the day because I would feel tired all day.  But I take it minimally and I feel comfortable starting out small.  I sleep so well and wake up refreshed.  I am not constipated at all THANK GOODNESS.  What I have found is that I have had a decreased desire to emotionally eat or eat out of boredom.  I feel more content to just be still.  I was feeling a little OCD before, but I feel good.  It is too bad that it interferes with the birth control pill because it could potentially be helpful for people who experience mild to moderate depression.  It is so awesome to have not cried this weekend and truly, that says something.  It was a good weekend and many things have increase my serotonin.

After my fasting blood test yesterday I was so hungry and I ate and ate yesterday.  Seriously I rarely go 14 hours with out eating.  I kind of felt like I might faint, but did not.  YAH.  I am not judging what I ate or how much, but I did eat a lot and I know this because I felt FULL.  Not sure how many  calories or points and I am good with this.   So I am maintaining and my spirits are good.  Though this week I would like to see some progress (any) because I finally feel a little better.  Energy is not optimum, but still it is time.

Love the new tub and more and more baths with candles……..

Whole grains (brown rice, quinoa, etc.), fish, fruits and vegetables, water, good healthy fats (salmon oil, hemp seeds, flax, nuts and seeds) vitamins, treats in moderation and light-moderate exercise (6/7 days).   David and I have decided no eating out until the end of the week.  No sugary desserts and instead we are chosing fruit.  I know this is not really a principle that Intuitive Eating believes in, but my sweetie suggested it (not me who usually says such things), so I think he has been feeling a bit like he wants to see changes for himself.  It will be good for both of us.   I also will be continuing to respect my full feeling……

Have a wonderful week Buddies!  Chamomile tea cheers.  *clink*

So I had a great visit to the doctor.  I feel like I am the luckiest gal around to have such an excellent doctor who cared about what I have to say.  She knows that I have a passion in helping and healing myself and that I do not wish to rely on drugs if at all possible.  I really like that she does not want to just give meds to solve a problem really quick.  She said that’s not her style.  She and I talked for a good amount of time and I felt like it was well worth both of our time. 

 

After talking she did not think it is a thyroid issue.  Not sure why my temperature is so low?  Do others seem to be low? Is 98.6 no longer normal?   For me 95-97 is normal.  Anyways I forgot to mention it as I am forgetful these days.  I guess I forgot about it because she said the TSH test was normal.   Will be seeing her in the near future though.  She thinks it is a nasty touch of the flu (more symptoms revealed even today and yesterday like dry heaving –YUCK – and sore muscles, still have some nasty sore glands).  She recommends that I increase my serotonin levels because of the depressive state, lack of energy and lack of concentration and fogginess.  Since she knows what I am studying she recommended I research the ways to do this – I love her!   My new allopathic doctor (did I mention I love her?) has recommended taking St. John’s Wort (little shocked) which has been well researched as helping with depression/low serotonin levels.  (Care must be taken when using this herb as there are some serious interactions when combined with certain other prescription meds.  Must do your own research for sure.

 

If I have any concerns with my blood sugar levels, she gave me a form to have a blood fasting test done.  I have found lately that I just want sweets, carbs and fruit and that is kind of all I want to eat.  That could either be because there is a blood sugar issue or I just naturally want to raise my serotonin levels.  I have always thought that eating protein would raise these levels (tryptophan into serotonin) but as I read today, sugars raise serotonin levels the quickest.  And the amounts of tryptophan are slight compared to other amino acids in say meats so more tryptophan is not obtained by eating more meat necessarily.  It is simply hard to obtain with all those competing amino acids.  Protein does provide the body with some of the necessary tryptophan to make serotonin, but there are so many ways to make serotonin.  And in this time where there is so much stress (a body that is producing more and more adrenaline), our bodies really require more and more serotonin to keep us level, calm and happy.   She described the state, NOT as depression but rather a tug-o-war between serotonin (happiness) and adrenaline (flight or fight/stress).  We want happiness to win!!!  LOL… it is not really a battle as adrenaline is so very important, but I thought her analogy was cute.

 

I think I have been going a little lower carb lately and then choosing stupidly the wrong carbs when I just feel needy and carb-crazed.  What I have really seen since gaining and then really “dieting” even though I have thought at times it is not, is that DIETING, low carb thinking/eating equals a more depressive, wanting, craving state of mind and body.  So I am thinking more about balance but I am enjoying my portions of carbohydrates and fiber rich fruits.  Just a little protein to help the blood sugars remain balanced and my energy to remain level.  I wanted to lose because I have gained and this is frustrating but it takes time and the right way to achieve healthy results. 

 

But it is not just diet!!!  Stress has been a bit high lately.  Blah, blah, blah….. everyone has more stress for sure.  Life!

 

So according to some study and I have read this elsewhere, salmon and fish oil capsules can alleviate depression (according to a study done by Dr. Nicholas Pericone).  Just thought I would add this in.  The study showed that the group who had a diet that included fish oils and salmon were less depressed then those on the SSRIs like Paxil and Prozac after 8 weeks.  COOL!!!!

 

There are so many great ways to increase our serotonin levels and help with depression.  Most of these are obvious to us.  We really do know usually how to help ourselves.  But when things compound, it is a little difficult to unravel the knots in order to see the answers. 

 

Natural ways to raise low serotonin levels

 

 http://www.ei-resource.org/articles/mental-and-emotional-problem-articles/easy-and-natural-ways-to-raise-low-serotonin-levels/ 

 

The point form I took from the above article:

-eat a high tryptophan meal and then a carb snack 2 hrs later (eating a little different is not different for me as I have had to adjust for my health before)

-carbohydrate rich diet

-eat the right kinds of proteins (rich the amino acid tryptophan)

- go to sleep and wake up at the same time

-get some sun!!! (total 2hrs/day and aim for 30 min. in the AM)

-meditative like activities

-do fun activities that raise your spirit

-Organize environment —  Y ES, YES, OH YES!!!  Soon our place will be organized!  (At least we have a sexy new tub to relax in !!! YAH!  And I am so thankful to our Postal Santa who helped with the new and relaxing environment.  With out Santa we would be showerhead less, or at least we would be oober-showerheadless…… hehe.) 

 

I feel positive about the future.  Again, I am so thankful for my new doctor.  I already feel more sane and less stressed.  I am tired, but all in good time.   I am also thankful for my amazing and supportive buddies here.  *hugs* Have a good one!

 

Cheers to our health.  *clink*

I just wanted to do a quick check in and say thanks to the responses on my last blog.  I have really been in a mood in the last couple days.  I was a bit nervous this weekend to go to a family members birthday this weekend (Grandma is 90 years young and grouchy grouchy…. oh dear) because I felt like I might bite someone’s head off.  HORMONES and stress I am sure.  But all went well and I am feeling so much better today.  Grandma was so happy to see all her grandkids together… her words!

I am not going to say I feel normal because I don’t.   Not getting the right amino acids from my diet and not enough iodine has really affected me.  So when looking at the foods that I have been avoiding and just not eating for what ever reason, it is not surprising that I have come to this point.  We get out what we put in and I have been slacking, not caring and have been progressing to this point.  Anyways, I am still not eating meat so much (fish yes) but I have added some supplements that are helping me feel human again.   Body temperature was at 98.1 this AM and so I could not be happier.   YEH I am sweating too…… libido is ON!  Joy!  Could use a little more energy, but this will come.  I know I just need to take care of myself.

Too much stress lately for sure.  Thank you buddies.  I have not been dealing well with stress and I know this has been a factor.  If these hormones get back into check, I know I will be myself soon!   Stress and environmental factors can deplete the body that is just trying to get enough of this and that to function it’s best.  Truly, no matter what shape our bodies are in right now, they are phenomenal in all that they do for us.  *hugs myself tight*

Have a great day everyone! 

I am really hoping I can help myself here since the doctor found nothing with my blood work.

These have been my symptoms:(s0me are new and others are not)

Extremely tired, lack of energy lately,  lack of sweating and feeling chilly, weight gain, very sore glands (neck), depressed (BAD), crackling voice sometimes like I have a cold, but seem to not, very poor concentration and memory, fogginess, when I write something and try re-reading it sometimes it makes no sense.  And my body temperature is between 95 and 96 usually.  Low BP, but this is not so new- 96/56.  All things point to an under active thyroid. (Some of these symptoms are new since I saw my doctor, so I will tell her if they are still a problem when I go for my physical.)

SO, I feel empowered because after reading I am trying 2 things from the health food store and I feel at least hopeful.

As for the diet, I am changing things up only a little.  Less of certain “healthy” veggies, no soy and more fish!!!   Everything else I am keeping about the same.

I am also aiming for lighter exercise.  Friday I worked out a lot compared to what I have been doing and I think it was too much stress in combination with what is going on in my body.   (Elliptical - 45, fast walking -70)  There will be nothing strenuous like hot yoga or the elliptical until I feel well.  I am still doing stretching, light yoga, walking and maybe some stationary biking.

*fingers crossed*

When we learn to deal directly with our complaints and difficulties, romanticized ideas about the spiritual path are no longer meaningful. We see that what is important is to take responsibility for ourselves, and to always be aware of our thoughts, feelings, and actions. - Tarthang Tulku

This seemed to really ring true with me this week.  I have not been doing so so well, but I am working at it.  I think I have been more depressed lately because activity has not been my ‘pill’ of choice and it IS necessary for me.  I am so freaking tired of feeling awful and I am going to shoot myself if I hear a voice in my head that is all boo hoo.   MUST GET OUT OF THIS FUNK!

I know pretending does not work well sometimes, but when I go to see my client I am always a different person.  IT is like I put on this different face and the neat thing is, it has been working.  I have been enjoying that person I am in those moments.  Now why don’t I just hold on to that person?  Ahhh just random thoughts and questions today.

The Plan

Friday: Walking (?) , pilates (50) or Carmen’s DVD

Saturday: Elliptical (30), Hot Yoga (75+)

Sunday: Get Ripped or the gym, not sure

So the last food hit my lips at 7:45 which is too late to be eating for me, but life happens.  Teeth are brushed and flossed and I am sipping on my decaf green tea.

Did my tea inventory because I want to get back to replacing the careless snacking with a variety of teas.  I have indulged the last couple days and the cravings are not evil.  The moody beast just must have her days too.  They are not even regrettable.  That kind of thinking is what I am trying to avoid.

TEAS to choose from:

Matcha Tea - NEW today

Green Sencha tea

Green tea Goji Berry

Tetley decaf Green tea

Decaf Earl Grey

Lavender Earl Grey

Vanilla Earl Grey

Cream Earl Grey tea

White tea

Organic White Chai tea

Ayurvedic Herbal Infusion Woman’s tea

Kama Sutra Chai tea

Decaf Green tea

Peppermint tea

Ginger tea

Chamomile tea

Cherry tea

Red Rose black tea

Rooibos tea

Tea cheers to me and you.

Today I loved chocolate SO MUCH.  Off to work out a little.

Might do a little check in most nights to be accountable. (inspired by a buddy)  I am pleasant and so much happier when I am seeing improvements.

Oh and I picked up Carmen Electra’s DVD for fun.  I love that it is low impact!! (also inspired by a buddy who loves it)

Sweet dreams to all. 

So the emotions are a bit all over the place and ‘why’ has been revealed.  I am not surprised.  I am woman, hear me roar.  ROAR!!!!!

Went to the dentist today.  She spent a lot of unpleasant time cleaning my teeth near the gums between my teeth.  YIKES.  So the fear has been instilled in me!!! And of course my mind says, well this will correspond well with my desire for weight loss.

Something I am going to work on….. Flossing my teeth EVERY night (and of course brushing as usual).  Caring for the elderly has shown me that they as individuals have a way of doing things.  Though everyone is different, they just do and are consistent about it.  Well I want to develop a nightly routine and it starts after supper.  And the goal is to make supper appealing and interesting most nights, BRUSH AND FLOSS my teeth and then enjoy a wonderful cup of tea, herbal or decaf green.  Relax and read before bed.  Some variation of course, but that is it for the most part.  Last night I liked not eating after supper.  Just watched the Election results - BLAH!   But I  did not eat all night.  It was excellent.  More of this personal care and relaxation to come, each and every night.

Intuitive eating has really helped me.  I am so much more forgiving of myself.  Now, if I could just throw out the scale.  But slowly.  It took me a long time to develop all the habits, good (recognizing portions) and the not so good (preoccupation with the scale).  So I figure the principles of Intuitive Eating will just have to take a bit of time to become a part of my life.  Slowly and slowly……..

Have a great week.  Oh and Happy Hump day!  This is going to be such a short week.  Don’t forget to love yourself today as always.

*hugs*

I did not even have the big Thanksgiving dinner and I feel so full.  What is up with this?  I think it is time to really understand that even an occasional this or that here and there, there and here is just too much.  I have an appetite usually but I AM SO FULL.  The portions just have to decrease, maybe.  The one thing I have not done so well this weekend is workout, so check GET ON THIS (I tell myself).  Maybe a little too much dairy too.

Anyways, perhaps the 2 delightful pieces of pumpkin pie over Thanksgiving did this.  One yesterday and one piece today.  It was so wonderful.  We found the best pumpkin pie at a local German bakery.  YUM.  I am also sending the early Halloween caramels with David to work.

Ok, final reason maybe I feel this way… Maybe I did not drink enough water.

Whatever, tomorrow is a new day for the love…….

Going to do so sit-ups.  Maybe this will help move things and make me feel less like a dough-girl.

Today I was thankful for my two guys who love me (David and Oscar) and for the freedom that I have in this wonderful country.  No matter what, freedom is everything.  So thankful for my little outlet here, as always.

All the best this week!

I am not sure what it is.  But I feel it too.  Some of my buddies are ON FIRE!!!  No pressure in terms of these numbers.  It is just time to get it done.  Enjoy and do something productive like loving me and getting closer to a healthier state.  Respect.

What is loving me?

Respecting what I eat in the right amount for my hunger.

Good nutrition, hydration, vitamins and minerals, going easy on the chemicals and processed foods

Knowing where the food comes from.  Respecting the environment.

Nothing here is new.

What is new?  We have a Federal election on Tuesday and people are fighting tooth and nail for change.  If one is not voting Conservative and has not heard, you may want to really make your vote count.  Strategic voting.

http://www.voteforenvironment.ca/canada-riding-lookup/pcode

This is for change.  We are at a point where there is only one choice when it comes to protecting the Arts/Culture and our Environment.  If one agrees, don’t vote Conservative.  But those concerned must know their individual areas numbers.  Ridings for NDP, Liberals and even the Green (Ms May) can be won.  Check out vote swapping (strategic voting) on Facebook too.  Voting with the heart is for a non-progressive society.   CHANGE!  It is like high cholesterol BUT every individual MUST know their numbers to know what is best for them.

WHO BELIEVES THE ENVIRONMENT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT PART OF A SUSTAINABLE, HEALTHY, BRIGHT ECONOMIC FUTURE?

Apathy is the antithesis of sexy!!!  My fingers are even crossed for the US election in November.  *fingers, toes… all crossed*

I know politics can be as controversial as religion, but I know we can be mature.  I love my conservative friends and respect everyone’s view point.  But my goodness, and this is my opinion, this world needs to take another turn.  It is like me eating and eating and eating when stressed.  There comes a point that it is just a bad path to be taking.  Why keep doing something or engaging in the same old same old.  Change is possible!

And I do not even think that most of my buddies are here so much lately, but I hope that they and everyone is doing great.  This is just where my heart is today.

No fretting or yawning as I know this is a weight loss site and so this is the only blog about politics… I do believe.

80% Spirit, 20 % mind and body…… that is just the kind of day it has been.