a long weight loss road
It was asked and so I have finally gotten around to sharing. Why did it take so long? Thinking about the past was hard, but it is good to see where I am and where I was. Life is good.How have I gotten here all the way from 250 pounds?
At 18 I left home and lost 50 lbs in 2 months. I lived in a residence off campus. I left for school like over a week before classes started…. Not that this is ideal, I did eat a lot of Ichiban (yuck, but they were good and cheap at the time…lol) and tuna and drank plenty of water (other stuff too), so it was far from balanced, BUT the only time I binged was when I went over to a friends and ate way too much cherries jubilee frozen yogurt.
I did LOTS OF WALKING around a new city. My life is a blur, but I do recall eating healthy food much of the time. Then I also recall eating a lot of late night take out too. When I worked nights as a caregiver, I always took snacks. As long as they were healthy choices I contined to lose and feel good.But I have been up and down.The best thing was finding Weight Watchers which really taught me portions. Nothing is off limits because doing so just makes me want.
I use to think that there was a certain way to eat that was ideal and healthy and maybe there are some points to this kind of thought, but extremism is not something to tamper with. Thinking about food or foods negatively is only asking for trouble. There is this diet vs. that diet and blah blah blah….. I prefer a mostly vegetarian (NOT vegan) diet because it helps me feel level, less acidic, more free of pain and peaceful. Thinking that any food is evil is just another thing that welcomes needless guilt into my thoughts and THIS is something I do not need.
Losing weight and learning some food combining ideas has helped my health so much. Though I still struggle with stress, I feel pretty healthy. No matter what is going on in my life, I feel good as long as I am RELAXING. Even today, I started out the AM very very well and food is not even on my mind. In fact I have had to say, oops I better eat… that is if I want the studying to keep going. 
The last little while I have been a bit of a grazer. Nibble, nibble… small meals, even a snack here and there after supper. But, my body is happy. I am feeding my hunger and not my emotions. I know this can change, but I am better now for having experienced it all. It is possible to find peace and love yourself if you just give yourself a chance. I am up and down with this too.
TODAY I looked at myself and said, Self, you look pretty darn good. Sure the legs and bottom are a little full, but I feel great. This is not something I usually feel. I really want to feel this, is it too much to ask, all the time? Ha, hormones!
I have removed my ticker and I am getting rid of the scale for a bit. It is no longer our way to assess. Dec. 21 will be one month since David and I are paying more attention to our consumption and then I will weigh in. But it is really about feeling good in my skin. And despite the number this AM, I feel pretty fine. But I know on a different day it can just piss me off. So why? Why do that?
AND THE BIGGEST thing that has helped me lose……..ACTIVITY, everything and anything. Whatever I was into at the time, I just did it. The ability to move and move well is a blessing that I do not take for granted.
Personal goal to keep in mind - to say “sorry” less. It is so tiring and neally always makes me feel crappy. So I will try to not do that.
Thanks for my buddies who have asked about me and for those who have sent some humor my way. Sometimes, all we can do is laugh. Laugh like a nut. Laugh like you might pee your pants. Laugh like you can not stop. Laugh until you cry and your abs hurt.
Happy hump day Everyone!
signing off as,
Heidi Heaven-Fire 
Thanks Jenn! Glad to see you today! BTW, mine was Sugar Glitter Tush
oh i forgot my name…
thanks for the story jenn and for the boost earlier. i can’t repsond or my bslim crashes. send me your email addy sometime so we can chat
you sound like you feel good in your skin. it is often nice to reflect o your own story to see what change you have made. are you examining just food consumption or all consumption these days? that word always makes me thinking of buying things, too.
hugs to you! deb
Thank you for writing this blog, it served as a reminder of WHY I am doing this—HEALTH and feeling good in my own skin!! Which by the way, is great skin!! LOL! Anyway, I really needed to read this today, more so than any other day! I feel that when the scale is NOT moving fast enough we have to look at the overall picture—TIME is not of the essense when it comes to weight-loss, what is important is learning healthy habits along the way, what is important is learning about ourselves and what is important to us—-thanks Jenn for putting it into perspective for me, yet again!!
Thanks for sharing!!! Taking time to work towards a desitination is never a bad thing…You learned along the way…Awesome!
I love this statement “TODAY I looked at myself and said, Self, you look pretty darn good. Sure the legs and bottom are a little full, but I feel great.” I need to memorize this!! I am so glad you shared! You sound so peaceful!
Oh I do love this blog Jennifer
You sound at such peace with yourself and isn’t that what really matters.
Thanks for sharing
Lori
Wonderful blog Jenn. I do believe I’ve never seen you open up this much before. Made me smile. My Jenn is coming out of her shell and feeling GOOD about herself.
This whole life… to me… is about learning and growing and coming to a peace, with ourselves, and others. When we stop learning and growing, we become stagnant. You’ve taught me so much since I’ve known you girlfriend. Thanks for that.
Here’s to LIFE! *clinks water glass WITHOUT ice* lol
Huggggggggggggggs,
Shan
hehe… there is a lot that I left out, but this is what has gotten me here in a nutshell.
Yesterday was so peaceful and then today, pet stress, but I am remembering the best of yesterday and BREATHING.
I love that we can share and learn with each other!
Thank you ladies so much.
Thank you Jennifer for sharing your journey with us. Fluctuation is a natural way of life. I am so happy that you learned to take it easy and follow your heart with kindness and love.
You have been made with love and your body is beautiful.
Jenn, Thanks for sharing your story! Hugs, Kimmi