Jennifer

So, I am taking a bit of time to review Intuitive Eating today because it seems the student has forgotten everything.  Another good book for dieters too the Zen of Eating!

Gentle damnit! Ha.  Seriously though, I have this sweet desire to be kind to myself, but how I think I should look is interferring with this.  At the store yesterday I was drawn to the weight loss pills and thoughts of herbs, but this is not the answer.  Knowing that they are not a long term answer and likely will not work, I still thought about it.  Nope, there will be no cheating or failing.  I am going to do this the right way!

My days are going to start with a workout of some kind and it does not matter what.  I just want my heart raised and I want to work my beautiful muscles.  Buried they may be, but there they are wanting to be my major weight loss initiators.   I considered posing my weight ticker again, but I just do not want to be consumed by this number.  Sure I have a goal, but I do not need to be reminded of it only to feel up or down because of it.  There was a time when it really helped to see it each week.  Well I just do not want to go there.  Today though I weighed in just to know where I am and I was not at all surprised to see my biggest number since being at Buddyslim.  176 is what I saw.  I am not sad or anything, but I do know what got me here. 

Too much imbalance.  Too much World of Warcraft with not enough exercise.  More movement is the key.

I am not seeing foods negatively, but again, I need to add more of the lighter foods and decrease the heavy sweet foods.  I know I have had plenty of animal protein and this slows my digestion.  So, I was lost yesterday as I tried to think, well what path will work best for me?  Weight watchers always comes to mind, but I do not want to start the year doing this.  I share as I have shared here before, this helps so much if you have never thought to look at what you eat.  It is a really good start for those who are new to loosing weight.  But this only reinforces the perfectionism and the negative ideas that I do not need.  But I need structure. I do I do….. lol   So, the plan is to aim for 6-10 points per meal for a maximum of what would be 30 and this is about a 1500 calorie day.  And I am not saying NO EATING AT NIGHT, but I really wish to not eat at night unless it feels like I will have trouble sleeping due to hunger.  Snacking is something I would like to knock-off my routine at night.

There is some comparing I did this Christmas just to keep me from getting frustrated.  One of the ladies in my cousins family who we spent Christmas dinner with made a comment when I said I was so cold.  She said, “maybe you need some body fat.”   Well that is both hilarious and sad.  Hilarious-Well I have plenty and too much for my frame.  This is not the sad part.  The sad part is, I am the littlest female and person in my entire family and also everyone at that dinner.  Yikes!  This makes me sad because I know that excess weight (the kind that makes one obese) means that one and all are at an increased rate for health related ilness.  :(  So I knocked off the craziness that might occur in my head if I were to stay there.  Nope, I came out and found some perspective.  Yes I have some habits to get back to (portions and respecting/loving myself with what is the right amount for me-exercise and diet), but there is no need to get worked up with things.  So I have gained, now it is time to start fresh and find that balance again. 

I want new things for 2009.  I want to feel empowered.

I know the weight loss list, but I should just reinforce it here as it is the last day of the year. 

-to prepare interesting and healthy meals more often then not as to feel satisfied (TOO MANY bowls of cereal when I came back to Saskatoon because I just did not seem to care.  No more of that.)

-plenty of fruits and veggies, balanced eating, keep my protein regular and my animal ptrotein (more fish) to the portion good for my digestion (2-3 oz), water, herbal tea, green tea (decaf and regular), vitamins, limit the sugar  

-workout at least 5 out of 7 days a week.  No less then 45 minutes.  I am only firm with this, because this is what has got me here.  A little poofy, but thank goodness I am keeping the perspective.  Gentle, calm……. and as Bif would say, I” love myself today, not like yesterday, I’m cool, I’m calm, I gonna be okay” ….. hell this is going to be a great year.

-do what ever it takes to find the joy and laugh.  Laugh often.

Wishing everyone a great day.  NOW, I am off to workout out.  Happy New Years Eve everyone.  Have a safe and fun night.

Peace and love…..

(Note:  Learning is good no matter what happens, ideal or not so ideal.  Education is education.  For instance, I learned that mixing chocolate pudding powder, the cook on stove kind, with plain yogurt is tasty.  Just as I thought it would be.  Still, this I had to learn by trying.  Now this does not mean I have to do it again, anytime soon anyways.  *rolls eyes* 

yes, yes, yes….. more whole foods and less sweets…… yes, yes, yes…. *puts that angel back on my shoulder for guidance*  lol)