Dark - Smoking
Quitting is not as horrible, let me tell you, compared to dying of lung cancer. Clients have told me that they should have tried harder. I hate to write this dark blog, but I just must. I have seen people die, as I have cared for them, while they suffer the most sickening, long, lasting days. And I have recently learned that the mother of two kids I babysat for years in high school is dying of lung cancer AND liver cancer! So incredibly sad. Her ‘kids’ are now in their early 20s and I am just…..dull. Why am I dull? Because I feel I could be a caregiver of a dying mother. I was earning money from that same babysitting job with that family and trying to buy Lifesign to help my Mom stop smoking twenty years ago. I was fully aware that my Mom was hurting herself and those around her and I just wanted her to live a long time. Just frustrating, then and now.
Sometimes I feel bad about spreading the darkness and sometimes I remain quiet, but you know what, I am being real today!
I have no feelings with how difficult it is to stop. I realise this is nasty as I am to be empathetic and compassionate. I am sorry to say, just feeling some dullness. Which is disturbing.
Ok, now that I have gotten this off my chest….. Moving on!
As someone who is a former smoker, back in my stupid years AND as someone who lost her husband to lung cancer(he never quit) I understand your frustration. I used to threaten to divorce my husband if he didn’t quit smoking, he didn’t and I didn’t but I knew the specter of lung cancer was lurking ever nearer, because his dad died of the same thing. There was nothing I could do, it came, he died and left behind two kids 4 and 11. But on the other hand lung cancer takes non smokers too. The fact that people continue to smoke when they know the facts tells you how badly this addiction takes over. Just keep doing what you’re doing, you cannot control anyone but yourself and if you know you are doing everything you can there is nothing more to do. Peace.
My Jennifer, you know I believe your heart is so big and so loving. You have helped so many people through this horrible illness, and all the way to the end.
I can certainly understand the “dullness” you are feeling. Is is probably like a numbness? I could imagine myself feeling that way.
Prayers coming your way Jennifer, to all you’ve loved and lost.
Love you so much
Jane
So smile my friend….continue to take care of yourself. Hey I just saw that AFTER PIC!!!! OMG!!!!! You are an AMAZING BEAUTIFUL GIRL, with your whole life ahead of you. You’ve worked so hard on your weight and I am just so darn PROUD OF YOU!!!!! Such an inspiration to all
I agree smoking is AWFUL. I smoke and each time I light up, I think abou thow I am putting one foot closer to my grave. I hate it. I was not smoking this time last year. I quite for months then for some reason started back up in the summer. I will quit, I don’t even smoke that often, not sure why I even do it really… Sorry to hear about the lady you know who is dying. My grandfather also just died from cancer caused by smoking. That SHOULD be my motivation.
I smoke, and it is one thing I do want to quit, I know better.
I’m with you, I have a hard time watching my mom smoke herself to death. Just this morning she was hacking and coughing - yet she doesn’t see the corralation between that and her bad habit.
Thank you Alliema and Jane. And Becky, you can so do this, please! What a beautiful young lady you are. Kama, it is hard, but it is never too late to butt out. No one has worked harder then you Kama to achieve your fine little body
All the best in trying to do this too. Thanks Nancy. Our Moms are so similar….unfortunately.
Not so good I am at “moving on!” today, but I will keep trying to make this a better day. Just a little depressed, but I know what to do.
And yes, Jane, you are right. It is numbness, not really dullness. Thanks.