Jennifer

I now have a mini trampoline.  

I was doing some research and I learned something really neat.  I just love this thirst for knowledge that I have and then to have that thirst satisfied with some valuable information, well that’s just the cherry on my fruit salad.  So, most have heard that exercise is good for our heart and muscles.  Sure.  Well it’s also good because it helps the lymphatic system rid the body of bacteria, proteins the body doesn’t like, the garbage of our bodies.   My spider senses drew me to this site that many professionals believe to be the best activity for draining what I was having at the time, some swollen glands…. the jumping kind on a trampoline.  I didn’t have one so I jogged in a spot for 20 minutes and it worked pretty well.

Well I now have a cheap and cute trampoline from Canadian Tire and it’s so fun and guess what!  I feel great.  My body said “thanks for the change in activity.  You did good “.   Now that’s good feedback!   I may be on it for days…..

First D - “dirt said hi”

This is my acronym for some causes of allergy.  I am starting to study and so I thought I would share.  I have for too long considered food as the only problem.  It is a naughty and unhealthy thing to focus on food as the enemy when it is clear that allergy is widespread with more people then not experiencing allergy and food intolerances whether they know it or not.

Causes I am to know….. from Allergies - disease in disguise

Drugs (2 most common +1o other main ones)

Infant formula

Repeated consumption of (certain) foods

Toxic overload -just too many substances (some food) that the body is just not capable of dealing with

Stress

Air allergens

Illness - like emotional stress, stressed out bodies do not operate as well

Dental fillings - and I would add ANY chemicals/additives that do not belong in the body

Heredity

Individuality (biochemically)

http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/The_Food_Allergy_and_Weight_Gain_Connection.htmlhttp://www.selfgrowth.com/articles (a good article)

The second D - Dictatorship

What is it that I do not like in an online support site?  I think the site should never feel like you are living in Sudan or North Korea - incidently the top 2 dictatorships in the world.

I think a good dialogue shoud exist with out the feeling like you have to agree with every single thing that some one says?  People can communicate in a respectful and disagreeing fashion I think.  Oh yeh this is North America and freedom of speech exists, right?

Well maybe.  Sometimes.

Ahh…. somethings matter and somethings don’t.  This is life.

Off to do something that matters…………………….  Well four things.  Creating my beautIful self is one of them!

I am completely saddened right now.  My ear eczema is at times getting the better of me and I really can not deal with a bandaid solution of cortisone from the doctor.  This is clearly a situation where I must respect myself and my diet and keep the stress low/nil.  I am ON this Elimination diet so this should help.  No more bad fats-even good oils that are baked in store bought chips.  I seem to have flair ups after stress, lots of protein and bad fats.  OK.  I am going to breath and try not to be petrified.  Frick I sound melodramatic, but this is how I feel right now.   I will get through this WITH OUT CUTTING OUT MY EARS from the itching!  / :(   One saving grace - Yah I am not apparently contageous.  Though I am apparently my own worst enemy! - this being an autoimmune thing.  *rolls eyes*  Tell me something I don’t know! 

I have studied plenty about eczema, but not ear eczema so much.  Though I have to say, I have read enough on the Net and I am GOOD now.  I have some information and gathered bits and pieces here.  Now I will just do what I do.  Relax my mind (not easy, but I am working on this) and be committed to the plan.

Weight loss is not my issue or concern.  My goal is to maintain.  My plan is remaining itch free in my ears, keep them moisturized, taking my flaxseed and flaxseed oil, other supplements and lotioning up as my whole body is kind of dry.  I LOVE cocoa butter!!  I am avoiding all glycerin products because they bug me.  Oh did I say I LOVE COCOA BUTTER.  I smell like a giant cookie!  NOW, who needs sweets when you can smell your sweet self all day?! lol  Though I am craving fats ( is my body not getting fats?, so I am taking plant enzymes including lipase and will be talking to my doctor), I am not at all craving sweets.  In fact they actually look like poison to me and I could care less at this time.  Yuck, and yucko to many things…..alcohol, anything refined, bad fats, even most meat.

I am going to keep up with the contract - 3-4 days of strength, 30 or 30+ !  I also need to walk, do yoga and some unique cardio activitites that help me drain my lymph nodes.  It is all good.  Excercise will keep my spirits up.  Just need to listen to my body and not over do it.

Note, bathing is a treat as those will know!  Must avoid water in ears.  I think after a few experiences, I have it down.  lmao.  Living and learning as I go…. I find a drop of mineral oil in each ear and having extra cotton balls near by to switch when they become wet better then just coating the outside of the cotton ball with Vasoline.  That messiness did not work for me and I thought it was really coated…nope.

All right, I feel excellent at this moment as this seemed to be good spiritual detox, so I am going to enjoy the moment!

Any personal stories are welcome.   Especially if you can share some light and good stories of people recovering.  Thank you.

I was watching The Doctors this AM and they said flat out, as one gets older their metabolism does NOT decrease.  It’s the fact that we are beginning to lose muscle mass that we start to gain weight.  So, let’s get lifting and doing all the different kinds of activities that will increase our sexy muscles and help us to be strong and healthy as we age.

Today I am doing my regular strength movements and lifts and I am going to work on some….. pushups.  Just to push me a little.   No just do not want to make the time today to do a long cardio session, but I do have 30 minutes for strength.   I would like it to be as natural as it can be, but maybe I could do well with a contract again.  I do not want to be all military on my ass and then not maintain.  I have taken steps to make lifestyle changes like the no mindless eating and I want this to work for me too.  My goal is 3-4 days a week (one of which will likely be my hard body yoga or my Budokon DVD) and variety is good for me.  I think I can do this.  I likely need to do early AM or later in the evening.

Mark the fitness hut guy here has a lot of great information on his site, answers questions and there are many good (and bad sources) out there.  If you are into finding a trainer, asking questions is your perogative and responsibility.

I let this part of my routine slide over the winter and it did not help me at all.  I had an excuse, but I am not even going to write of it here.  It is crap.  No more excuses!

This summer, I want to show off a swimsuit.  No excuses to not be able to find one I like, like last year.  Blah, blah , blah… I have said this before.  But  it’s a little goal.

Strength Contract

I comit to performing 3-4 days a week of at least 30 minutes of strength training for each session.   When I do DVDs or got to the gym, it is longer and that is great.  But if I look at my body and create a routine for the body I see that day, it must be at least 30 minutes.  This does not exclude me from enjoying activity on the other days.  The goal is to do something active each and every day.  My reward for completing this contract is confidence I will have in knowing that I am strong and I can do anything with my life.  I NEED THIS.  I need to know that I am not limited by my mind and how my mind sees my body.  I am not the past.  I am right now strong and I will become stronger and stronger mentally and physically as I develop these behaviors and new beliefs.

I am continuing with no mindless night time eating and continuing to eat healthier food choices most often.  I am not thinking of it like I am on a diet, though I have to be on this Elimination diet…. little grr.    I am just going to enjoy feeling good.

This contract begins today and I will decide at the end of June if it is reasonable for me beyond.  Still I know it is good for me to make strength exercises a part of my routine.  But for the sake of this contract, I will update my exercise log at the end of June.

~ Jennifer

APPARENTLY I do well with these contracts.  I am not allowed to forget me.  And always a special thanks to Kama who is such an inspiration when it comes to fitness.

So it came to me this AM as I was just waking up, tonight is day 30 for my challenge.  30 days of not eating after 7PM unless truly hungry has been terrific….more energy, better sleep,  improved metabolism especially when I actually ate when I was hungry, even after 7PM. It was interesting to deal with that voice in my head like I was failing by eating.  It was not about denial.  It was about chosing food for hunger and not all the reasons that I have in the past….. food is tasty, food is a friend, food is soothing when lonely, sad, mad….and on and on….  I am excited to have a new relationship with food and MY GOODNESS, FOOD TASTES SO UNBELIEVABLY WONDERFUL WHEN YOU ARE HUNGRY.  How could something as simple as a green salad, potato w/ a little butter, olive oil, squeeze of lemon, dash of salt, pepper and fresh dill taste so heavenly? -hunger.

So, this was pretty easy.  I am sticking with it.  A new lifestyle change.  Officially.

I do not know what to think of everything I have studied.  There are some contradictions and it feels a bit strange, but I guess this is life.  Even allopathy does not always have the answers.  Everyone is unique!  :)  What I have figured out for myself, with the support and knowledge from my studies, is that dairy is not for me.  I feel like I am mourning it’s loss…. Look here I go thinking about what I DO NOT HAVE.  Caught myself……   But it is soooo good.   *not thinking about it anymore/rolls eyes*  Maybe in those tough times with fantasies of peanut butter pie and MacLaren’s Imperial aged cheese (CURRENTLY IN THE REFRIGERATOR as someone bought it as HIS treat and I chose apple butter  :), I will just have to go and read some vegan site…. :P  Ahhh, best to see the humor in it.  Knowing that a craving is going to hurt me, really ought to be enough!  Ahhh I will let the vegans preach at me…. haha.

“NO, that is MY organic butter and I will not allow you to sh1t on it and when I finally purchase some raw honey, you can hump a tree if you think I will give that up either!” 

So, the question in my head, HOW LONG will I be here at buddyslim?  The fact is, I will be here as long as it works for me.  My weight minded self would like to see a body around 155, +/- 2, but she does not rule.  I love blabbing on my little space.  My apologies for blabbing on other’s blogs though.  Sometimes I feel filled with emotion and thoughts…. it happens.

must….walk…away from…the…computer…..  The day is starting.

*feeling fiesty*

Ok, I thought I was Mountain time, but I am Central, not that that really matters as I did not get the whole time setting thing in the Options settings.  Anyways, this blog is more current then the one that has been posted all AM at the top of the list.  How annoying.  Anyways it’s now fixed!  I feel better. *fingers crossed*

Why do I speak of this again?  Well my questions/confusion were not answered some time a ago and it was brought up again recently on another blog only they were confused too.  So I was thinking today and it was obvious…what a difference a couple 2 numbers make *double sigh* and I am sure other people’s settings.  I just wanted mine to be current.  I was embarrassed seeing my blog still at the top.

Seriously, I have experienced fogginess in the brain at times.  Glad things are better on this front too.

I am against picking sides.  I like to use my own brain and see the good in everyone. 

It is so often easy to see the negative in others because it is so very present in ourselves usually.

No understanding, no ears to hear, no eyes to really see.

Afraid that a truth may be discovered or a secret may be pushed deeper?

Who doesn’t want someone to come to their defense?! Of course we do.  But where does anger get anyone, EVER?

(Thoughts & respect for those who have passed, defending our freedoms.)

I was disgusted to hear of the young girl who had a cartoon written about her by students who were contemplating ways to kill her/a student.  My fricking god!!!

 When will people ever get a clue???  - they say it begins with one person.  Me.  You.  

AHHHHHH…….ahhhhh………..then there’s what matters……..

Amongst the garbage and the anger of this world…….. beaUtiful Stillness and Peace.

How I let my anger go today?  I stopped being angry at not having done the cleaning and laundry over the weekend and realised, it is not the end of the world.  I got stood up for numerous outings in the last while and realised, that anger festers inside and does NOTHING but create more negativity.  Now, duh!  A nice *ValleyGirl DUH* …..lol

Let’s it all go!

Peace. 

I know I said I wasn’t going to put the ridiculous ticker back up as I planned to put it back up when I put up a new after picture at the beginning of summer, but I’m a little excited.  Ahh I’ll wait.  I am back to a very promising point on the scale.  I have been all over the place and it was just better to not focus on it as my weight CoNvUlSeD.  It’s so much more peaceful to just realise that eventually with some better habits, things would improve.  It took months….but finally things are improving.  My overall high during the winter was over 180 pounds and currently I’m at 169, give or take 2.

Not sure why things happened the way they did, but I have a few new lifestyle changes that I like.  I am going easy on sugar….all of it.  There is no ‘I must exercise on this and this day’.  I just let my body dictate what it should do and I feel good that the lazy feeling and the converse, the neediness for activity, have evaporated.  This new way did not work before when my emotions were up and down, but things seem good now.  Also, I’m thinking about food less.  It’s not about what I do not have on my plate, it’s what I have and I am enjoying the peace I have with in.  I am chewing very well.  Oh yeh and freedom from mindless night time eating, 26 days!!!  I eat to fill the hunger if need be and it can be whatever, with in reason, but mostly no night time eating.

Well holy hell, I’m with out joke today, or any cute pictures to make me smile, or any information from my studies to share because I care, but I’m flying like a kite.  Going with it……

Only I know how important it is to really start taking my food sensitivities serious.  Though the Elisa food sensitivity test told me some interesting things (that I might want to avoid large amounts of shellfish, go easy on the cinnamon and lentils/beans too I find), it really did not work for me.  There are foods that I eat that are increasingly becoming more of a problem with me and before I do develop an allergy I need to deal.  Most professionals that I have read about see the elimination diet as a good thing as it allows the body to heal and become cleared out of the problem foods.  By not being continually irritated, the body heals well on it’s own.  Then it can usually have those foods again.

Now I am not anti-allopathy as many know, though I do not always talk about.  I am a middle ground thinker and so I like taking the best from both worlds.  The other day I went to the doctor and was given Fluconazole to clear up my body of candida.  As I have wrote about I have been ill off and on for about 10 or so months.  Anyways, she gave me that and I was happy.  I just can not be bothered to deal with this scary problem with herbs and tonics…*lol…rolling eyes*  I know such things are can be good for mild issues, but the thought of dealing with it homepathicly, kind of made my skin crawl.  On top of this I have ear eczema which can be serious.  My Dr. did not give me anything here.  She wants to see if with moisturizing and some light ‘freezing’ when needed, it will heal on it’s own.  I really like her progressive thinking.  I asked her if the yeast caused the ear condition and she said it was more likely the dry weather.  My books say candida wreaks havoc on the immune system and would lead to things like allergies and other infections.  The weather has been stupid cold so, who knows.  Little of this, little of that…bam!

Every damn time I have dairy, my reactions are becoming worse and worse so I am FINALLY going to do an elimination diet to let my body relax and heal and then after 4 or so (maybe 6 weeks) I am going to start adding foods in, one by one.  I wanted the easy way out by having a test done and it did little to help.  This time I am listening to my body and taking charge.  I sound all positive, but it is the hardest thing I will be taking on.  No sympathy, I just need to be strong and know that this is for my health.  The fact is I am eating foods that my body does not like and I need to respect the messages.  I have ignored them for long enough.  Really it is time to just do and not talk.

I am not happy to feel like a social outsider because of this, but who am I kidding, I have never been popular and being the person I am, being different is A-ok.  Still this diet means I can almost not eat out or eat what others are eating.  Boo hoo hey?  Like there are worse things in the world then my poor poor bloodty diet.   Get over it, is what I am telling myself.   I started studying natural nutrition because of my health and if I hope to really help people with their wellness, then what better way then going through the uncomfortable changes myself.  That part of me that just wants to be a rebel will just have to take a back seat and think like a growed up and not a big f’n baby.

I am eliminating all dairy and the most common allergens plus some veggies as they have proven to be problematic at times.  I am also taking a shit load of supporting and healing vitamins, minerals and EFAs while healing and they are specific to the healing of eczema so I feel good about this.

MOVING ON………………………….. This does NOT have to define who I am at this moment or for the next month.  It is my energy and this is my health !

Fun…what is fun?  I am working on enjoying a new DVD, that is if Oscar will let me get through it today.  Though I did cave quite easy when he was being a twit.  I just did not have the energy really.  Today I do my Budokon DVD that incorporates martial arts, yoga and meditation…YAH

Wishing everyone a great Friday and a relaxing weekend.  Cheers to health and relaxation!  *clink*

I am finding that eating a bit later helps me to feel much better over the course of the night.  So instead of eating at 5-5:30, 6:30 is a nice time to start or finish my last meal. Enjoyed some good eats at our fave restaraunt LaBamba last night, then home to watch Idol….. *sigh*  I am not at all shocked Kris won.  He had that home grown feel and was about as sweet and wonderful as apple pie. He really did surprise me the last couple shows-very impressive.   The polished nails and intensity could not have appealed to the masses no matter how incredibly talented Adam was and is.  I did not like every single performance of his, but I really admire his sense of self and his courage to be that which is different in pretty mainstream America.   Adam through out the season, hands down, made everyone better!  Success to them both for sure…….

A friend and I were talking and she wants to set up some health goals for herself, but she does not want to become socially different.  I know this is important.  I just have always felt like I needed to chose my health first.  But there should be a way to find some good balance by keeping the goals moderate.  I found it interesting that her husband is more of an extremist then her in that he wants to fast and she does not.  He wants her to do it with him and she is resistant.  Fasting is a personal thing and that fact that she is resisting leaves me to think that she is listening to her spidey senses.  So I definitely support them both.  She laughed her infectuous laugh when I told said that he should find his inner strength and just do what he needs to do.  Granted she is a naughty lady saying she would tease him with food.  Now, that is just nasty…..hehe.

So, I feel myself testing myself.  If I eat this, will I judge myself?  Kind of a personal test.  Had to see the doctor yesterday and so I found myself feeling her words more then what she was actually saying.  She is a moderate of course.  So, I guess I do see that food does not have the great effect on the body as I have hoped.  I mean I have been awesome diet wise and I am not quite balanced in my physical health.  (Still I have found better health when I changed really awful eating habits in the past.)   I mean I really have wanted to believe that I could make things better for myself and I know to some degree I can.  But, I am saying right now, that good food does not equal good health.  There are so many factors and I needed to write this and surrender to life, a little.

The strict me says that eating a brownie for breakfast was stupid and unhealthy for me, but continuing to live with great restrictions is maybe more harmful.  There are many people out there that are saying right now, YIKES, ok she is no health nut?  Well I have been and it does very little for my complete health.  So from this point on I am addressing the food police in my head.  The brownie is not a staple thank god (Twas too yummy!!!), but it is the beginning of this journey where I address those voices.  HOW COULD I NOT JUDGE FOOD WHEN I HAVE STUDIED ABOUT THE EFFECTS OF THIS AND THAT AND HOW THIS AND THAT HELP THIS……  I am seeing the flaws of The Hard Core Beliefs Of Any Topic….. nutrition, politics, religion….    There are no certainties with anything.  What matters is the peace with in.  And usually the body is fed well with whole foods, fruits and vegetables, good quality protein and healthy fats.  But sometimes the spirit begins it’s lifelong nourishment with the consumption of chocolately freedom.  I know my hormones are now affected with sugar, but a little sweetness now and then really ought to be something good if it does not spiral.  So, I had an enjoyable treat and that is that.  No judgment please!!!  I already have one in my head.  Right now I have her harnessed in rope, chains and leather~giving her a taste of HER OWN medicine.  Ha!!!    (lol… I have been watching United States of Tara.  :)  I am somewhat serious and also being somewhat funny…..

Not about to write about this complete journey here, but this is where I am at.  This is such a huge change for me and I find meaning is lost when I write in the stadium of friends and foe.  What matters is that I find my meaning and I am confident with that.  I felt like I was being dishonest if I did not say where I was at in my head.  I think it does not matter so much that I write, but I just needed to be real.

And I am also proud of my non-mindless eating nights!  This will be the main reason that I lose a few more……….  It’s easy now!

Question:  Can I have a treat and not feel that I have failed, causing me to eat a greater number of these type foods (one is a delightful treat, 2, ok, more is gluttony and unhealthy)  -  Yes/No

Did I have a day where I dealt with my emotions well and did not have that all or nothing mentality:  Yes/No  ………will answer later.

Wishing Everyone a great day!