Jennifer

Pros and Cons of my two me’s 

The Gentle Me

PROS-forgiving, not obsessive, non-judgemental, focus is subtle but effective,

CONS-seems to not be as affective, seemingly without focus, it takes more effort to overcome the negative thoughts

          - it’s possible to get off track due to emotions and it seems nearly impossible to regain the focus again……

….which leads me to thinking about…….

The Diet Dominatrix

Pros- easier to just listen to a strong and strict voice, effective for some time, seems fun at first, it’s easier when life is tough and confusing because I do not have to work at things as I can do what someone has said is the right way.  Truth be told, there is only one way and that is MY way… whatever the heck that means 

Cons-It is not healthy to be so restrictive, it does not teach me to be gentle with myself, not forgiving, when she says “no” I want, fighting eventually turns volatile, negative views of food and possibly exercise. 

So I know where I need to go.  Get back on my path, realise what I want and just gently find a way…If I stray, gently escort the annoying dominatrix voices out of my head and welcome sanity and my gentle me back in. 

How strange it is that when stressed I have been craving sugary foods for comfort, but the last thing the body needs is sugar in stressful times as both stress and sugar deplete the body of vitamin Bs.   Less Bs, more depression and an inability to deal well with more stress…… hmmm…… It’s hard not to think of sugar as evil.  It just seems that in our society, more is always better.  More, more, more……  

But we are consumed with something.  No matter what it is, there is ALWAYS something that takes us away from our center of greatness.   Unless, the picture is clear.  And it seems the picture is rarely clear….. *sigh* 

Today I re-learned that happiness is within.  Sure sure I have heard this, but how many times do I look and continue to look for that thing that is not in another person and can not be give to me from another.  Happiness is mine, for me, from me.  Funny how you can look and look and become more lost in a forest of unknown.   And then suddenly I am lost in my food, unable to enjoy, because it would seem the world is spinning all around like a massive rollercoaster.  Nope, there has got to be another way…  A return to the Gentle and working on that old self respect and love….

I became empty when I looked outside of me for something more.  This seems strange to me.  Love. 

My mind is a mysterious maze today.  I am taking the day off from thinking. 

I do not really read blogs here anymore and hence I am no longer the buddy I once was.  I am finding that the words out there in Buddyland feed my Diet Dominatrix, and frankly that bitch needs to reduce even more then me!  You know, for my own good.

I feel so wonderful !!!!   Off to create something sensually appealing in my kitchen and have a good day.  Hope a few others out there are re-discovering their great selves and creating some interesting new paths.