Jennifer

….the number until I reach my mini goal.  One down.

Strength Contract will be completed by tomorrow, though I did not exercise everyday, no kidding, I did all right.  Posted on a previous blog.

Onward and hopefully downward with a renewed interest in pilates and yoga.  I am looking into taking a class, one or the other.  Will see about the cost and types.  But this will be something I do that is outside my comfort box.  Until I take a class I have a stack of DVDs to help create my body.

One cool thing, when I started here at BS I bought an on-sale satin camosole that I was sure would fit and it did not.  Well it sat in my drawer for a long time, then last week I tried it on for shits and giggles and wow, it is no longer tight around my rib cage.  IT FITS!  I am stoked!  :P  Yah for good surprises.

Most things that happen are really just not worth fretting over.  This week I work even a little more on not sweating the small stuff.

Who says you can’t send a booster note to yourself….lol  Well technically you can’t, but it is the little things we do for ourselves and the positive affirmations to ourselves.  Or even last week when I took note of what I wanted to say to myself and I said I wanted to avoid the negative words in my head.  All these things matter.  And I was not perfect at keeping the negative out.  But I have some new tricks up my sleeve.  Nothing will stop me from creating my best self in mind, body and spirit.  But my efforts come with a gentle touch and this is most soothing to me.

So, my countdown to my mini goal is on.  WW is good again.  It seems fresh and though I know it will bug me at some point, I am putting my big girl panties on (they still are fun though) and remembering to love myself, enjoy life and adhere to portions.  Of course the points were over this weekend and I enjoyed a little TOO much.  But even going over a little, ok a lot is still better then watching things skid completely off the path meal after meal.  This week more Balance and listening to my hunger.  This week I reward my body with healthy choices.  I am such a broken record!!!!

I want to give thanks for all that this body does for me and want to show it, good eats and respect.  This past week was such a scary week with the loss of Michael Jackson and it has had me thinking about my Grandmother whom I never met.  She died of heart problems when my Mom was 13 years old and sometimes lately I feel my heart is sad and over stressed.  So I am going to take note of my body signals and intuitively do what is best for me.

I use to do the unusual things, the fun things and did not care about anything that people thought.  Well I have wilted a bit and this week is about picking myself up and daring myself to be that person who just rocked her world.  So I dare myself to do the extraordinary and really think of this week as my last.  What would I do if it was my last?   Working on those fears, those fears that keep me all locked up and in pain.

Life is too short to sweat the small and it is all too short to not live… Repetition is good for memory…lol

I posed a question to myself about how I could be accountable to drop a couple and feel better.  Well I just enjoyed my food, tried to eat moderately, worked out when I could and stopped when I felt I needed, enjoyed a mini home spa and followed some good wisdom both from a friend and from my inner self.

Wishing everyone a great week.

Tappy tap tap tap!    Beating to my own drum……

Earl grey tea cheers to you !

So I am awake.  Oscar has waken me up and for what, I do not know.  He has food.  Maybe it’s the rain.  My heavens it smell wonderful!  I feel weird today ??  but I am liking it.

I love it when I opt for a different breakfast and just enjoy the new flavor.   Even if it’s simple, it’s perfect.  A drizzle of agave and salted organic butter on brown rice bread toast was yummy with my 1/2 banana.  I woke up craving almond butter and it’s so weird, but I have noticed that when I crave something I often do not eat it slowly enough.  I thought a change was good and it was!  Most enjoyable! And no thoughts until after that maybe I did not get enough protein.  Why NOT chose the almond butter?  It’s a better choice right?  Well maybe not.  I should avoid most nuts.  The protein thing has been a problem, thinking I need more and more protein when infact, my body might have been saying less and less.  I reason this out since doing this diet and getting a little less protein I feel better.  And well I was so wrong, I can still lose weight and eat around 45-50 grams of protein.  Some days a little more.  Whatever I feel….

I thought I’d be irritable not having this large list of foods on this diet, but I feel clear and usually quite content.  There were times before I think I knew what it felt to be a drug addict…wanting, wanting, needing?  I would lie if I said I did not miss cheese and eggs…. I DO.  But my goal is about getting my intestinal health back into good shape….. just like the rest of me.   I have had soy and feel okay and I feel this must be because I have not had it really so much.   I am not going to start having it a lot either.  I am keeping it extremely moderate.  Like last night.  I made a small chocolate soy sundae with a couple cherries and a 1/4 of a banana…YUM.   Speaking of which I enjoyed that treat like I can not even tell you.  It was heaven!   I was slightly hungry, but I do need to watch out for the mindless night time eating.  I do not need it to creep back in.

The neatest thing about this diet, is there are times I want to eat something for shear boredom and NOTHING appeals.  Those former go to foods (corn, dariy, wheat, peanut) are the ones I can not have on this elimination/allergy diet.  So this is working out REALLY well for my weight loss.  *big smiles*  So many times I have just sat down realising, I was not hungry anyways!  Then there are times I am really hungry and I just eat something on the Can-Have-list.  All good.

Exercise is going well.  No more muffin top!!  Hip hip horray!!!  And my waist is back down to the low 30s instead of the mid 30s.  My legs are toning up and are down 1 whole inch.  LOL.  Well it’s progress.

One thing.  I want to see the documentary with Joaquin Phoenix called Earthlings.  The craziest thing is, it has been out since 2005!! Where have I been???  It’s about the treatment of animals by the world’s food producers. My problem is I feel better eating a diet that is best described as the Paleo-diet (hunter- gather, veggies, fruits, meat protein, seeds) + a vegan diet (I would normally say vegetarian because I would eat dairy and eggs, but not at the moment).  This works best for me I find.  Paleo and vegan are opposite but this is what my meals look like and I feel healthy.  But it has been brought to my attention in a very upset manner, you know who, my Big Sweet Pea, hehe, that if I watch the documentary I’ll be eating all vegan again….No!  That was not healthy for me!  Last time I changed our eating habits (though I still cooked my sweetie his meat sometimes : )  after I read Skinny Bitch and was inspired by the written text descriptions of animal treatments.  For god sakes if a hockey player goes vegetarian/soon to be vegan maybe (he says) after seeing Earthlings, well how am I suppose to resist when morally I already struggle sometimes with meat?  The fact is, I do feel better physically with a little meat.  Two to three ounces is usually enough most days out of the week.  But I really want to see it!  It’s like how they describe people gawking at a car wreck, only I can not do that.  So…….what to do.   I am at a loss.  I know I believe in the correct and human treatment of animals and this is achieved on some farms but NOT the massive farms where the majority of our animal protein comes from.  I feel conflicted.  I want to see it………………………………..  But David knows me and I do too.

Ahhh….. 7:35 AM  time to workout.  *deep breathing*

So it came to me this AM as I was just waking up, tonight is day 30 for my challenge.  30 days of not eating after 7PM unless truly hungry has been terrific….more energy, better sleep,  improved metabolism especially when I actually ate when I was hungry, even after 7PM. It was interesting to deal with that voice in my head like I was failing by eating.  It was not about denial.  It was about chosing food for hunger and not all the reasons that I have in the past….. food is tasty, food is a friend, food is soothing when lonely, sad, mad….and on and on….  I am excited to have a new relationship with food and MY GOODNESS, FOOD TASTES SO UNBELIEVABLY WONDERFUL WHEN YOU ARE HUNGRY.  How could something as simple as a green salad, potato w/ a little butter, olive oil, squeeze of lemon, dash of salt, pepper and fresh dill taste so heavenly? -hunger.

So, this was pretty easy.  I am sticking with it.  A new lifestyle change.  Officially.

I do not know what to think of everything I have studied.  There are some contradictions and it feels a bit strange, but I guess this is life.  Even allopathy does not always have the answers.  Everyone is unique!  :)  What I have figured out for myself, with the support and knowledge from my studies, is that dairy is not for me.  I feel like I am mourning it’s loss…. Look here I go thinking about what I DO NOT HAVE.  Caught myself……   But it is soooo good.   *not thinking about it anymore/rolls eyes*  Maybe in those tough times with fantasies of peanut butter pie and MacLaren’s Imperial aged cheese (CURRENTLY IN THE REFRIGERATOR as someone bought it as HIS treat and I chose apple butter  :), I will just have to go and read some vegan site…. :P  Ahhh, best to see the humor in it.  Knowing that a craving is going to hurt me, really ought to be enough!  Ahhh I will let the vegans preach at me…. haha.

“NO, that is MY organic butter and I will not allow you to sh1t on it and when I finally purchase some raw honey, you can hump a tree if you think I will give that up either!” 

So, the question in my head, HOW LONG will I be here at buddyslim?  The fact is, I will be here as long as it works for me.  My weight minded self would like to see a body around 155, +/- 2, but she does not rule.  I love blabbing on my little space.  My apologies for blabbing on other’s blogs though.  Sometimes I feel filled with emotion and thoughts…. it happens.

must….walk…away from…the…computer…..  The day is starting.

*feeling fiesty*

Only I know how important it is to really start taking my food sensitivities serious.  Though the Elisa food sensitivity test told me some interesting things (that I might want to avoid large amounts of shellfish, go easy on the cinnamon and lentils/beans too I find), it really did not work for me.  There are foods that I eat that are increasingly becoming more of a problem with me and before I do develop an allergy I need to deal.  Most professionals that I have read about see the elimination diet as a good thing as it allows the body to heal and become cleared out of the problem foods.  By not being continually irritated, the body heals well on it’s own.  Then it can usually have those foods again.

Now I am not anti-allopathy as many know, though I do not always talk about.  I am a middle ground thinker and so I like taking the best from both worlds.  The other day I went to the doctor and was given Fluconazole to clear up my body of candida.  As I have wrote about I have been ill off and on for about 10 or so months.  Anyways, she gave me that and I was happy.  I just can not be bothered to deal with this scary problem with herbs and tonics…*lol…rolling eyes*  I know such things are can be good for mild issues, but the thought of dealing with it homepathicly, kind of made my skin crawl.  On top of this I have ear eczema which can be serious.  My Dr. did not give me anything here.  She wants to see if with moisturizing and some light ‘freezing’ when needed, it will heal on it’s own.  I really like her progressive thinking.  I asked her if the yeast caused the ear condition and she said it was more likely the dry weather.  My books say candida wreaks havoc on the immune system and would lead to things like allergies and other infections.  The weather has been stupid cold so, who knows.  Little of this, little of that…bam!

Every damn time I have dairy, my reactions are becoming worse and worse so I am FINALLY going to do an elimination diet to let my body relax and heal and then after 4 or so (maybe 6 weeks) I am going to start adding foods in, one by one.  I wanted the easy way out by having a test done and it did little to help.  This time I am listening to my body and taking charge.  I sound all positive, but it is the hardest thing I will be taking on.  No sympathy, I just need to be strong and know that this is for my health.  The fact is I am eating foods that my body does not like and I need to respect the messages.  I have ignored them for long enough.  Really it is time to just do and not talk.

I am not happy to feel like a social outsider because of this, but who am I kidding, I have never been popular and being the person I am, being different is A-ok.  Still this diet means I can almost not eat out or eat what others are eating.  Boo hoo hey?  Like there are worse things in the world then my poor poor bloodty diet.   Get over it, is what I am telling myself.   I started studying natural nutrition because of my health and if I hope to really help people with their wellness, then what better way then going through the uncomfortable changes myself.  That part of me that just wants to be a rebel will just have to take a back seat and think like a growed up and not a big f’n baby.

I am eliminating all dairy and the most common allergens plus some veggies as they have proven to be problematic at times.  I am also taking a shit load of supporting and healing vitamins, minerals and EFAs while healing and they are specific to the healing of eczema so I feel good about this.

MOVING ON………………………….. This does NOT have to define who I am at this moment or for the next month.  It is my energy and this is my health !

Fun…what is fun?  I am working on enjoying a new DVD, that is if Oscar will let me get through it today.  Though I did cave quite easy when he was being a twit.  I just did not have the energy really.  Today I do my Budokon DVD that incorporates martial arts, yoga and meditation…YAH

Wishing everyone a great Friday and a relaxing weekend.  Cheers to health and relaxation!  *clink*

So I have gone 13 days of NOT eating after supper unless hungry.   I feel the joys of a metabolism and I’m appreciating.  I do believe it just settled down into hybernation over the winter.  I am not kidding either.  I have made some changes, but STILL!  That was just craziness!  Anyways I think I learned some things that will help me keep the metabolism going.  So, the 13 nights have been great.  Now I am fairly sure that I consumed sugar last night.  We spent the day with a couple yesterday which was very nice - played some board games (crappy weather) and watched hockey.  Enjoyed some sushi together for lunch and then I just forgot about my goals.  Not a big deal, but I am almost positive that I had sugar in a dressing that I put on my Greek and spinach salad.  It was a balsamic vinegarette that was so tangy and sweet tasting and I enjoyed, though it did seem a bit rich for my stomach later, oh yeh in combination with a thin crust chicken and vegetable pizza w/ pesto sauce instead of tomato sauce.  The fact that the meal stayed with me so long, could have just been the fat content or the flour because I did not over eat at all, at any part of the day.  I enjoyed it anyways.  I did feel like I had let myself down momentarily because of the sugar, then I grabbed some perspective!!!  It was a fun day with some good people.   I went 8 days with NO SUGAR/sweetener OF ANY KIND.  That is a record for me and I feel great because of it.  My next and completely usual thought was, “well I blew it so, now I can have sugar again.”  Well no way!!  This is a lifestyle change and having a little sugar in some dressing (of which I maybe had a tablespoon and a half) is not a huge deal.  Sure I made the commitment, but one of my unspoken commitments is to be gentle with myself and progress with my lifestyle changes.  So making the choice to continue on with the no sweeters and sugar is exactly what I intend to do.  I am firm on the no mindless eating at night though.  This is just VERY good for me.  Eating at night, mindlessly, is a behavior that I recall so well and has become a very unhealthy behavior for me.  I just do not need that food in me, unless I have exercised that night and need a little something something….fruit or something.

So, that is that.

Freedom from night time eating - 13 days

Sugar/sweetener free - 8 days, a trip-up along my path…moving on…

Chemical free - doing the best I can in this society of ours and I am not over thinking things too much.

*Yesterday’s activity: cleaning condo quickly, with my sweeties help, before company came over.  Hey, we have stairs so it was a complete and good work out…  :)   Today:  Muscles!!!

You do not give up!  And I am assuming that you just kept on doing your best.  You do not get all stressed because you know this packs on the pounds.  You do not worry about altering calories or recording them to the precise number.  You did not have the time, because you had a life to live and it did not fit in.  You were okay with this.  You relaxed, KNOWING that by doing things gently (no extremes), that all would come to be.  You know that respecting yourself creates a gentle balance within that is true beauty, harmony and optimum for all body functions including weight loss.  You know that extreme diets and exercise are hard on the body, leaving one altered, depleted and eventually, MOODY!   You know that eating a bit more one day or a bit more healthy fat than “ideal” is okay and even healthy.  You know that chosing fruits and vegetables more often just feels better.  You know that movement should feel good.  Maybe for once, you were just listening to the wisdom of your body and so balance was actually achieved at a cellular level.  Even though! if you were to ask a dieter or read an article or book, you might feel inadequate.  YOU KNOW BETTER !

Months from now this is what I think………………………………. My clothes fit better and I feel at peace.   It was really this easy?  Why in the hell did I make things so difficult?  Answer: I let a commerical society dictate “what I know” when the only knowing comes from with in.  Finally, I listened.  Still, the emotional times are not ALWAYS so easy.  That seems to be the most difficult of it all.  Sometimes it is just fine to sit in the unknown and know it’s okay too.

Inspired by a plateau buster & a self hater here at Buddyslim. 

When I think of Beyonce, I think great music and killer legs and butt.  Well, I do.  And it is not really in that order.  I think she’s got to be the hottest woman in any spot light.  She is on tour and had her second concert in Saskatoon last night.  It was a last minute decision to go and thank goodness, WHAT A SHOW!  We were upgraded, which was a super surprise.  So our 25 dollar tickets were upgraded to 100+ dollar.  I kind of thought she might have been sold out, but I guess it is the situation with the economy.  Anyways, the woman was electrifying with her all female band.   Ok, back to the legs!  I have seen Beyonce and she does not have little legs often (which is FANTASTIC… who wants little when one is strong and gorgeous), but she looked so tiny last night.  HOW?  LOL.  Genetics?  I really do not think it is that diet she was apparently on that was reported in Woman’s Home Journal a few years ago either. :)  

Just thinking about how I could add some more interest to my activity and I am remembering an ex-bf who taught me a little Seneglese dancing.  And after watching Beyonce dance for 2.5 hours, I think a little hip and butt action, MIGHT BE in order, for a little switch-a-roo-Fun. 

So getting away from the physical, what a great message for young girls and woman that this journey is about discovering who you are.  Fierce, strong, brave, SURVIVING and figuring it all out with dignity and many smiles among the tears.  No matter where we are at, I am thinking now, on this weight loss journey but all things too, just do the best we can and BE HAPPY.  Patience and respect.  Both apathy and obsession are just pathetic and unhealthy!  But somewhere in between is a mighty fine place to be.

Really enjoyed the energy.   All right, this is me….. Energized!  Living to be my best ME !!!

Good times.  Off to the farmer’s market and library….

Buddyslim Politics.  Does it seem crazy OR is it a glitch that some blogs remain at the top of the list while others, new buddies especially who are wishing for sincere support, get placed at the bottom of the list?  All because in the options setting you can change the time so that one’s blog stays high?  Why?   I think it only fair that when a blog is posted that it goes to the top of the list.  This should not be a place that represents popularity, but rather should be a place that encourages weight loss support for those who need it.  If this is a concern of yours, please do NOT comment on this blog about this.  It is not affective.  Please write Dr. Marc an email with your concerns if you have any.  

My blog usually goes to about the 10th or so position and I did not know why until I read a buddies blog stating how this happens.  I adjusted the numbers for this blog so people would see it and read it.  But my settings are back to normal.  If one could answer a question for me, :) what is the purpose of this setting option?  I did care a lot about the answer, but now, not so so much I guess.    

FEBRUARY !!!  Ohhh-yeh!

So I have been thinking that Change is indeed a fine and wonderful little word.  And when actions support it, well that is just wonderful.  But what do I want for myself?  I have been thinking about how I feel about food.  Normally the only time I want food it is when I am emotional (not really much of this AT ALL *smiles* lately) and obviously when I am hungry.  I have not been craving anything.  I just eat when I am hungry and aim for whole and balanced food.  I like that a lot.  I start to get that feeling of how smaller, non-obsessed people (with food anyways) must feel.  It is so peaceful to imagine that. 

Earlier this week I felt that overwhelming sense of fear with foods and that is something I need to address at least in words because that is not a way I want to live.  But when you feel awful when you eat certain things, or like a buddy suggest, certain combinations, well it kind of makes you wonder about food choices.  I have found peace in the fact that this will be over.  *fingers crossed*  I do have an itsy-bitsy fear that the allergist will say, you are not allergic to anything.  I mean I do not want to have an allergy or sensitivity, but I want an answer to the awful feelings.  So, fear.  Well after a good week I did have a day yesterday where I just fed myself well/a lot and I felt so good.  Asian Curry Chicken, Chicken Salad Rolls (no vermicelli, only veggies and chicken) and Singapore Noodles w/ loads of veggies.  I ate a lot compared to what I have been eating and felt awesome in all ways!!!

 Then I thought to myself, that was such an awesome treat.  No I do not want this every week, but damn.  I do love food!  Eating like this, on whole food/almost no sugar seemed to make me really appreciate it that much more.  I do not even want any more today.  It was that, a damn fine meal.  But now I want the simpler foods.  One thing is for sure, changes are seen in this body and I do not need the scale to reaffirm this. 

When I was 152 after being at buddyslim for a few months and SO CLOSE to my set goal weight at the time, I was so disgusted that my body was not what I had hoped.  But letting the number go and just realising that I have a body to create AND THE NUMBER DOES NOT MATTER and that the process in getting there is kind of fun.  Sculpting a firm and True body is much more important to me then a saggy, baggy number-”perfect” body. 

So, these are the things that I am gently holding in my hand and in my thoughts as I begin this month.  Should I say that knowing that I usually mess things up?  I feel like I can tempt it.  I finally know what I want and it IS attainable.  I think in the past I have had doubts.  Like what if my partner and I do not eat the same things and what if we do not eat out enough to satisfy our desires?  So often, WE know, eating out is just unsatisfying, disappointing….  Well,  I have told him, when I want something, I will have it.  He can have whatever he wants.  Tis the Intuitive way!  :)  But the days of me eating because it is there, well that is reserved for those times when I am a little emotional IF I CHOSE and I will have those times I am nearly positive.  But there is no need to make a bigger deal out of it then it is.  It is one moment and time and it stops when the mind allows it to stop.  Why is this sooooo easy now?  This week when I fed my body the nutrients it needed with out all the added chemicals and sugars to mess with my brain (emotions) and body (health) I felt the peace.  Like no cake or cookie could entice me into feeling any other way.  Health and sanity (and I can feel crazy at times) was the big prize!  Now that was achieving peace in mind, body and spirit.   Before I achieved this state by means of control and now, that toxic way of thinking has been shead.  Back into the soil, it is sure to come forth again.  But in smaller amounts?  I think so.  The fear has gone away in this aspect of my life anyways. 

Nearly all whole and nearly no sugar.  Intuitive Eating is my guide, which means I am the one living this life, uninfluenced by the bloody and perverse advertisements and ideals we too often bow to. 

My body knows best.

The Plan:  All weeks, no less then 5 days and preferably 6 days of activity

First & Third week- Structured - Strength MWF, cardio/walking M-F and whatever

Second & Fouth week-Unstructured - whatever I feel I want to do and I feel my body needs

Have a wonderful day, week and month!  I am not going to be on quite as much, as this is just what my everything in me tells me I need to do.  I think I might be finally on a roll, but I need to not procrastinate. 

There is a lot going on in my head these days.  Even when I am trying to sleep.  I was awake at 5 AM and just could not go back to sleep.  So I got up and have a nice warm bath….bergamont and lemon scented oils. and the clarifying light of one candle.  Sure the oils sound and should be invigorating, and I really worked some things out in my head (now I must believe in ME and follow my thoughts), but soon after a bath and a shower I was anything but invigorated.  I was TIRED, so off to bed I went.  What a great sleep.   I just needed to be okay with where my thoughts were going and as the words on my wall say….”Relax”, ”Imagine” and “Believe”.

Oprah has been such a big source of inspiration lately.  I just respect her so much.  She struggles as do I and we all must work at this.  But her shows and I am taping them all this week and will be watching all her webcasts next week have really gotten me onto a better and more effective way of thinking.  “This is not a weight issue, it is a love issue!”  NO KIDDING!  :)  I know this, but she has really focussed my thinking.  I do not just feel like I am drowning as I have felt sometimes.

Some important questions she has raised:

How am I putting myself on the top of my priority list?  - my list is specific, but generally I have made a night time routine that I must do in order to relax, perform and enjoy regular activity, eat well and realize that food is not the problem.  Not knowing myself and thinking food is the problem IS THE PROBLEM.  Food is not the problem! 

How am I finding the balance?

What do I crave?

Will I fall in love with myself this year?  (and the correct answer IS…… if I address what I am craving, I indeed will be able to do this.)

What do I want?

How am I honoring my needs?

Why am I worthy of getting healthy this year? 

And normally or should I say lately since coming into the light, I do not say no to any foods.  But you know, as long as I am not content in my mind and spirt, some foods just seem unfit for my environment.  Yes I am picking on the foods, but I do not want to be tempted.   Ok, no I am not picking on them!  I am just putting myself on my priority list!  I said food is not the problem and it is not, but I need to honor myself and better choices.

So a list Oprah suggested making is:

List 3 foods I will stop buying and having in the house? On my list is pudding mixes, crap sauces, all wheat flour and white sugar.  (lol… I wanted to make a cake so bad yesterday (WHY I ask myself ???) and realize we donated the only unopenned bag of sugar this Christmas.  It was around here for a year…lol  And Splenda was not going in my cake. NO CAKE.  :P)

List 3 foods you will add to your shopping list?  I could only think of one healthy thing I do not eat.  Artichokes.  I tried once and it tasted like ass! - a figure of speech ladies.   So if you have any tips or suggestions on how to prepare/eat this food in a healthy way, I would love to add this nutritious food to my cart.  Thanks. 

I am journalling and listening to the voice in my head.  It is really hard because I am a doubter of myself and I do not even want to share with anyone what is going on in my head.  I just need to believe and not worry about what others will think.  THIS IS MY LIFE! 

I am keeping up with my fitness log in a previous blog and really enjoying it too.  Feeling strong….

Note: as I wrote about earlier, the yogurt is just awesome, though I think I prefer 1% over skim milk.  Went to the store the other night as Oscar NEEDED tuna and I needed milk and David wanted a treat.  I resisted buying a treat, because yogurt would be my treat in 12 hours plus, but I did indulge and bought a magazine instead of something sweet.  Good good times.

Hope all are having a great week.  Love you…..

These days I am afraid to eat and for a variety of reasons and some are not obvious, I have no energy to exercise.  Obviously some days I have less energy because I have not eaten so much, but then other times I feel like I have so much energy and I have eaten only a little.  This does not make for good health to be up and down.  But for too long now it seems that I will eat something and suddenly I am weak and have horribly sore glands.  It seems the less I eat and the more whole it is the better I am.  Sure I do not have energy to workout for a lengthy amout of time, but less seems to be better.  Yah, next week I see my first allergy specialist.  I feel like I should be able to figure this out, but alas, no.  Is this the problem?  I hope so.

 I recieved my letter from the prevention program for cervical cancer and my Pap was NORMAL… great news.  

SO, at times I feel depressed and completely mental, but I am not going to go down that road: Depression.  No, no, no.  I am going to continue to eat what I think my body is asking for, take certain vitamins and herbs (and I will even try REMEMBERING THEM) and do some gentle exercise.  These days, rice, fish, most veggies and many fruits, some seeds and nuts do not make me feel bad.  So I am going with this.  Note: will snap if it is shown that I am sensitive or allergic to chocolate!  Haha…

THIS WEEK….. 

Monday: 30 minutes walk

Tuesday: blah…. I was a bum.  Nadda. 

Wednesday: 15 minutes of pilates, abs, Wii boxing

Have a great day everyone! *hugs*

AND YES, LET’S REMEMBER TO LAUGH OR BEHINDS OFF…. RIGHT OFF.  Humor does heal most things.

Check out this GORGEOUS picture.  A buddy sent it to me and I needed to share because it is so beautiful and I want to feel this way.  Plus she is holding a little tree and it seems that all the possibilities in the world are in her hands.   Cheers.