Jennifer

So, it’s been 18 days since officially weighing in and I am down ONE POUND.  YAH!!!  Though I thought it might have been more, I will take it!  169 just puts a smile on my face.  Nothing has been easy, accept I am not judging myself when I eat anything so this makes living pleasant.  I am eating healthy the majority of the time opting for real and whole food most often.  The old habits of extreme “good” foods followed by multiple treats and sweets are no more.  This new way of listeing to what my body wants and only eating when hungry (SLOWLY…still must be aware of this) has me feeling healthy in mind, body and my little spirit.   I still have stressors of course, but myabe I am enjoying the moments a little more.  I am seeing and feeling the present certainly more.  This is something I strived for but somehow did not achieve so well.  If anyone asks about my future, I can only wonder if they know theirs and are trying to avoid their thoughts of the unknown.  Or maybe they are just curious as I am so darn slow…lol   The future now seems to be the scaries thing of all.  I am conquering other fears I think, but the future still will get me sweating if I do not FOCUS….hehe   If I don’t see my Now, I will never get what I want later.

I joke with the scale when ever I want which is more then I have and savor dark chocolate.  Ha!  My mini goal is 9 pounds away.  I am so competitive with my self it’s not even funny.  But the difference now is that there is no judgement or any other kind of self abuse - NO nasty words except when I want a laughable spanking.  Should work on never saying “my thighs are fat” (they are compared to the rest of myself and this is just fact) and there are certain funnies that should never leave the playground.  And really it is good to be playful with myself I am finding.  Haha…. Still it will be one of my goals in life to always share THAT WE MUST LOVE OURSELVES, first and usually.  Always is just a tough and unrealistic goal.  I believe staying positive will assist the body on any of it’s many endevours though.

My mini goal may be a healthy weight for me, I am not sure.  For the longest time I was my only hindrance.  But I FINALLY have me as my biggest supporter. I thought at times I had me, but I didn’t.  And when I did not have me, I needed this site.  I am so very thankful for the most wonderful hearts out there who just inspire and try…try different things even, like listening to their own precious bodies.  Eventually what works becomes evident and it’s different for all.  And when it’s no longer a battle, life seems to feel like a new beginning.  I am really feeling this.  Such a girl I am, all teary….  Where I have been in my mind and where I am now in my mind are centuries apart and for this growth I am thankful to all my buddies and teachers for without you sharing your wisdom over the years, I would still be stuck I am sure.  I am unstuck and I am free of that old and tiresome battle.  I say this now as I have never achieved that balance within myself.  I desired it and so I have spoke of it’s loveliness often, but did not know.  I feel like I can deal with anything.  Now isn’t this The Life, as it is truly going to give it to me now!  Hehe… little early AM sarcasm.

Note on physical accomplishments- I can do a number of lunges when my body tells me to and this is assisting with the definition in my legs and behind.  This is a huge deal and is my greatest indicator that I am physically balanced.  Last year I could not do this.  My knees were crinkly in sound  and weak.  But doing things like cardio, strength training, walking and flexibility like yoga and pilates (a moderate amount…NOT hours and hours) type movements and just getting everything together in my life is really helping.  By this I mean dealing with the propper way to eat for myself and thinking better…hehe.   I still smile as I recall a young man who I met once who was not the smartest but he was still smarter then most that I have known.  He said, “just think right!”  That was the answer, but I had to discover the path.   The CD is my saving grace and I will be using more of Paul McKenna’s CDs as I tackle more of my minds complexities and entanglements.   Should be completely entertaining as I struggle with new things that are not weight related….  Really laughable.  That will be my goal- to live life light-heartedly and to welcome newness and joy.Peace!

I was not going to plant anything this year, but decided it was not in me to not have fresh herbs.  So this is what I am enjoying these days…

ROSEMARY - the herb that in my opinion makes you feel wonderful and high on life.  Some say it’s an aphrodisiac.  Well aren’t most things as long as they appeal to an individuals senses.

BASIL - Just all around wonderful, refreshing and wonderful to eat whenever.   I will savor some basil cream cheese at some point.  YUM.

MINT - It seems so fragile and yet it grows like a weed… LOVE it and I will get creative with this one.  Not just tea and salads!

LAVENDER-Calming and perfect smelling.  Maybe I will even see some flowers.  lol  I did plant it a bit late.  *fingers crossed*

Must see the beauty…

Even in a day like Thursday! My new weigh in day.  I knew I would change it from Monday to any other day. 

I am REALLY glad I am not weighing in tomorrow.  I gave myself a couple weeks before doing so again.  Yah!

Well we did the extraordinary and we just went out to a club and had fun for no reason other then FUN.  There was not even any kind of a performance or Bif…lol   See David kind of dared me but it was not much of a dare really.  I just did not want to have another boring night of the same old same old.   Here I was showering, putting my makeup on and drinking our best red wine… it was a true occasion!  lol

Not so much dancing but a lot of playing pool so that was fun.  And we met a new couple soon after we started playing our game of pool.   It’s so funny because I am sure people know what it’s like to wait for someone to call when they have given their number, well as a couple we are feeling the same thing.  Will they call and maybe sometime we can get together and play Settlers of Catan?  Boy o boy though, this woman was so lacking in self esteem.  Could it have been the alcohol?  I think all know that just brings out the truth of one’s feelings.  *sigh*  She was absolute JOY and fun and silly, but sad too.  Nothing like a parent to tell ya you are fat over and over.  Well this came out of her towards the end of the night (drunk) and it did not even put any downer on the night.  It was all just that good.  Who doesn’t have issues?  The point is we are all at different places and no matter what, we are all beautiful.  Even if a leg is burned and scared (hers is) or she feels a little self conscious to take off her sweater as she feels fat (been there but last night this was her too) 0r one just does not feel smart (yep!)) or someone just does not feel healthy (YES)…… we as woman are still beautiful works in progress.  And any step in the right direction at any speed is still living one’s best life I think.  Sometimes all I can seem to take is baby steps, but it’s something anyways.

So, MUST MUST MUST get back to the program a bit more.  The thing about doing Paul McKenna’s program is that it does not seem like effort and so it quickly can leave one’s thought and though it’s slight in effort, it is huge in results.  Still you have to follow the plan even if it’s completely logical - it’s how healthy weight people eat for goodness sake!  Because we did not expect to go out yesterday I missed listening to the CD.  Also a little too quick to eat late last night (martini’s will do this! )   So, back to the program and no regrets!  It was not just last night.  I have been slipping  a little with personal life stuff.  If there is one thing we all know, this part of our journey takes effort.  I slacked, but I am back to the Golden Rules -  Eat when hungry, eat what you want (I like healthy food most often, thank goodness), eat with awareness and enjoy and stop eating when full.  Also need to listen to the CD everyday and maybe play with some of the techniques in the book. 

MUST enjoy……………………. yummy, MANGO….. heaven in a bowl and the fragrant perfection of bergamot in my Earl Grey tea…  And the body is saying, protein today.

“Give me some protein.”

“You’re the boss!”

I now have a mini trampoline.  

I was doing some research and I learned something really neat.  I just love this thirst for knowledge that I have and then to have that thirst satisfied with some valuable information, well that’s just the cherry on my fruit salad.  So, most have heard that exercise is good for our heart and muscles.  Sure.  Well it’s also good because it helps the lymphatic system rid the body of bacteria, proteins the body doesn’t like, the garbage of our bodies.   My spider senses drew me to this site that many professionals believe to be the best activity for draining what I was having at the time, some swollen glands…. the jumping kind on a trampoline.  I didn’t have one so I jogged in a spot for 20 minutes and it worked pretty well.

Well I now have a cheap and cute trampoline from Canadian Tire and it’s so fun and guess what!  I feel great.  My body said “thanks for the change in activity.  You did good “.   Now that’s good feedback!   I may be on it for days…..

Only I know how important it is to really start taking my food sensitivities serious.  Though the Elisa food sensitivity test told me some interesting things (that I might want to avoid large amounts of shellfish, go easy on the cinnamon and lentils/beans too I find), it really did not work for me.  There are foods that I eat that are increasingly becoming more of a problem with me and before I do develop an allergy I need to deal.  Most professionals that I have read about see the elimination diet as a good thing as it allows the body to heal and become cleared out of the problem foods.  By not being continually irritated, the body heals well on it’s own.  Then it can usually have those foods again.

Now I am not anti-allopathy as many know, though I do not always talk about.  I am a middle ground thinker and so I like taking the best from both worlds.  The other day I went to the doctor and was given Fluconazole to clear up my body of candida.  As I have wrote about I have been ill off and on for about 10 or so months.  Anyways, she gave me that and I was happy.  I just can not be bothered to deal with this scary problem with herbs and tonics…*lol…rolling eyes*  I know such things are can be good for mild issues, but the thought of dealing with it homepathicly, kind of made my skin crawl.  On top of this I have ear eczema which can be serious.  My Dr. did not give me anything here.  She wants to see if with moisturizing and some light ‘freezing’ when needed, it will heal on it’s own.  I really like her progressive thinking.  I asked her if the yeast caused the ear condition and she said it was more likely the dry weather.  My books say candida wreaks havoc on the immune system and would lead to things like allergies and other infections.  The weather has been stupid cold so, who knows.  Little of this, little of that…bam!

Every damn time I have dairy, my reactions are becoming worse and worse so I am FINALLY going to do an elimination diet to let my body relax and heal and then after 4 or so (maybe 6 weeks) I am going to start adding foods in, one by one.  I wanted the easy way out by having a test done and it did little to help.  This time I am listening to my body and taking charge.  I sound all positive, but it is the hardest thing I will be taking on.  No sympathy, I just need to be strong and know that this is for my health.  The fact is I am eating foods that my body does not like and I need to respect the messages.  I have ignored them for long enough.  Really it is time to just do and not talk.

I am not happy to feel like a social outsider because of this, but who am I kidding, I have never been popular and being the person I am, being different is A-ok.  Still this diet means I can almost not eat out or eat what others are eating.  Boo hoo hey?  Like there are worse things in the world then my poor poor bloodty diet.   Get over it, is what I am telling myself.   I started studying natural nutrition because of my health and if I hope to really help people with their wellness, then what better way then going through the uncomfortable changes myself.  That part of me that just wants to be a rebel will just have to take a back seat and think like a growed up and not a big f’n baby.

I am eliminating all dairy and the most common allergens plus some veggies as they have proven to be problematic at times.  I am also taking a shit load of supporting and healing vitamins, minerals and EFAs while healing and they are specific to the healing of eczema so I feel good about this.

MOVING ON………………………….. This does NOT have to define who I am at this moment or for the next month.  It is my energy and this is my health !

Fun…what is fun?  I am working on enjoying a new DVD, that is if Oscar will let me get through it today.  Though I did cave quite easy when he was being a twit.  I just did not have the energy really.  Today I do my Budokon DVD that incorporates martial arts, yoga and meditation…YAH

Wishing everyone a great Friday and a relaxing weekend.  Cheers to health and relaxation!  *clink*

More and more I am coming on here, not my computer *frowns*, because this is still the only place I can express my weighty thought and concerns.  I think I have been talking less about things then I use to with David as things are just great in my head.  I really like where I am at.  From the outside I am sure it looks like control, but I am enjoying life, food and not worrying about this or that.  I truly have been feeling good.  But the problem is David still thinks that I am going to get all worried and stressed if I have some sugar (because he knows my goals are important to me) and I am just more relaxed then I have ever been?  What is the problem?  I think he feels guilty or fear or both because I had a bit of his sugary treat yesterday.  I perhaps should have resisted, but it was not about my goal.  I feel I will not explain this well, but I just felt good with everything and wanted to prove to myself that food/sugar was not my enemy.  And I enjoyed my entire meal and a few bites of a treat, without rushing.   I always tend to eat fast at a restaurant and I enjoyed it like it was one wonderful hour of shear bliss, because it was.  I think I liked the act of chewing really slow and experiencing every unique texture and flavor.  And I did NOT fear sugar.   I was not craving, I just was living in the moment with peace.    So I ENJOYED.  I was able to enjoy….. And I think it was a show for David too, who seemed to enjoy me eating with such intent and pleasure.  Just that thing at the end with the treat.  NOW, the day after, I understand why he was the way he was.

I am still opting for foods that do not have sweeteners, but the more I have thought about this part of my goal, the more I have felt like it is not the big thing for me.  I started this because I ate a shit load of chocolate chips.  I still could not figure that one out and I do not care.  The only thing that matters is what I choose to do with each new moment with food now.  Food and I are going to work together to achieve some greatness, but I will not be afraid.  I have been in the past, fearful I guess because of where my head has been at.  Really when I have overloaded my body with junky foods (not a judgement, just fact), I have not been able to deal well with stress and life.  But there is a balance within and I know if I can just learn confidence (a mystery!?) then I will be set.  But as it is, I feel peace with the many things that have been sources of stress in the past.

The freedom from mindless night time eating has been wonderful for me.  And I like not worrying about, well what if I am hungry!?  Well, if I am hungry, I will eat something!!!  What a concept.  I did not become overweight in my life because I ate when I was hungry.  lol.  By respecting my hunger, my metabolism does not live in fear.  Rather if rewards me with a half pound here and a half pound there, LOST.  Ok, I will take this and be thankful.  It is about the little changes after all…..

My goals are now just more like lifestyle or healthy ways of being.  Still I need to pat myself of the back, I have gone 21 days without mindless eating.  What does this mean?  Well most nights I have only had herbal teas, decaf tea, water or Caflib.  Some nights I have had fruits or veggies.  And only one night when I ate light through out the day did I absolutely need to feed my true hunger….I enjoyed that rye toast and fruit like it was heaven on a plate.  It would have been disrespectful to not eat.  Not to mention it would have been negative for me who is trying to work on the metabolism, not put it into sleep mode again.   So this is the goodness that came from some intensity yesterday.  I will take all the heated moments and joys in life as it all sculpts me into this person I am meant to be.

Sugar is opportunistic!  I should write about all the reasons that sugar is bad for our health and I am talking the highly refined sugar, but I will just keep it specific here.

Raw sugar,  honey, molassas, maple syrup in fact do come with some healthy properties like vitamins and minerals.  On the other hand, the biggest thing that refined sugar does to us is that it depletes our bodies.  Now in this society, people are eating less and less completely whole food and so vitamins are lost during processing.  Not to mention healthy oils are lost or changed and unhealthy fats are added. Anyways, back to sugar!  Sugar requires vitamins inorder to be metabolised in the body.  Now the body needs glucose, but this can be attained from fruits, vegetables, legumes and whole grains and rare and natural sweeteners.  Refined sugar that comes into our bodies depletes vitamins and minerals from our body (minerals that are necessary for an INSANE amount of other bodily funtions) and gives nearly nothing back.  Well it provides us with low energy and excess weight if that counts!  Plus disease loves sugar because it lowers our immune system.  So what is the pay off ?  Why eat the crap?

Well I was CRAVING last night and I know I had a light supper on carbs.  Not absent, just lower as I had a little rye garlic toast, veggies and some corn (made a southwest chicken stir fry with corn, veggies and Franks hotsauce).  I was okay with this because I was in control.  But I SO WANTED peanut butter pie!!!  (and I was not craving fat, I did get plenty yesterday).  I wanted and I could hardly remember what it tasted like.  I could feel the texture, but the tastey nutty sweetness was gone from my tastebud memory.  And so, I road the wave.  Talked with David and realised that I have gone 19 nights (going on 20….tonight is a big one, BBQ) withOUT eating at night for emotional reasons or boredom.  I could not do it to myself.  I was not even hungry.  I nearly let myself convince myself that I was, BUT I WAS NOT.  So, I am better for the discussion and the ride on that wave.  I was in control and I came out of it just fine.  (In the past I did not come out fine.  I caved many a times because my brain was operating on sugar from past meals.  No more.)  Note to self: Health was NOT what got me through these moments of craving.  Intellectually I could see that it was a poor choice, but that was NOT the reason I got over my craving.  I needed to remember my goal.

So tonight I want to have a hearty supper and enjoy some fun times with some good people.  I think I am making a Mediterrianin chickpea salad for the BBQ.

A buddy sent me a recipe and I had to say….YUM.  I will be making this SOON.

My tweaked version of Cranberry Spinach Salad:

*   1 t. of butter + 2 t. of cold pressed olive oil
* 3/4 cup almonds or pecans (soaked and dried)
* 1 pound spinach, rinsed and torn into bite-size pieces
* 1/2-1 cup dried cranberries
* 2 tablespoons lightly toasted sesame seeds
* 1 tablespoon poppy seeds
* ~1/4 c. raw honey
* 2 teaspoons minced onion
* 1/4 teaspoon paprika
* juice of one lemon
* 1 t.-ish apple cider vinegar
* 1/4-1/2 c. cold pressed extra virgin  olive oil or any lighter tasting oil AND a couple T. of water if need be

DIRECTIONS

1. In a pan, melt butter and oil over medium heat. Place nuts in pan until lightly toasted. Remove and set aside.
2. In a large bowl, place spinach with the cooled nuts and cranberries.
3. In a medium bowl, whisk together the sesame seeds, poppy seeds, honey, onion, paprika, lemon juice, cider vinegar, and oil. Toss with spinach just before serving and ENJOY.

*Note I made changes to this with out trying.  I am not having sweeteners at this time so I will enjoy this later.  But I love this recipe.  I have had something similar in a restaurant with strawberries instead of cranberries.  YUM!  This will be great.  I think next week I am going to do some tweaking and make this, but I will use a fruit puree -pineapple or a few dates instead of sugar??? not sure.  YES dates come with some nice nutrients.  I can not wait!  Ahh it seems sinful to have dates and yet I know better… Moderation, Mother Nature and my butt will thank me later while my tastebuds thank me im The Moment  :)  I am leaning towards pineapple, oil, pineapple juice, 1-2 dates and then the rest of the ingredients for the dressing.

http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Jamies-Cranberry-Spinach-Salad/Detail.aspx   -  site of the original recipe.

Hope Everyone has a wonderful weekend.  *hugs*

So I have gone 13 days of NOT eating after supper unless hungry.   I feel the joys of a metabolism and I’m appreciating.  I do believe it just settled down into hybernation over the winter.  I am not kidding either.  I have made some changes, but STILL!  That was just craziness!  Anyways I think I learned some things that will help me keep the metabolism going.  So, the 13 nights have been great.  Now I am fairly sure that I consumed sugar last night.  We spent the day with a couple yesterday which was very nice - played some board games (crappy weather) and watched hockey.  Enjoyed some sushi together for lunch and then I just forgot about my goals.  Not a big deal, but I am almost positive that I had sugar in a dressing that I put on my Greek and spinach salad.  It was a balsamic vinegarette that was so tangy and sweet tasting and I enjoyed, though it did seem a bit rich for my stomach later, oh yeh in combination with a thin crust chicken and vegetable pizza w/ pesto sauce instead of tomato sauce.  The fact that the meal stayed with me so long, could have just been the fat content or the flour because I did not over eat at all, at any part of the day.  I enjoyed it anyways.  I did feel like I had let myself down momentarily because of the sugar, then I grabbed some perspective!!!  It was a fun day with some good people.   I went 8 days with NO SUGAR/sweetener OF ANY KIND.  That is a record for me and I feel great because of it.  My next and completely usual thought was, “well I blew it so, now I can have sugar again.”  Well no way!!  This is a lifestyle change and having a little sugar in some dressing (of which I maybe had a tablespoon and a half) is not a huge deal.  Sure I made the commitment, but one of my unspoken commitments is to be gentle with myself and progress with my lifestyle changes.  So making the choice to continue on with the no sweeters and sugar is exactly what I intend to do.  I am firm on the no mindless eating at night though.  This is just VERY good for me.  Eating at night, mindlessly, is a behavior that I recall so well and has become a very unhealthy behavior for me.  I just do not need that food in me, unless I have exercised that night and need a little something something….fruit or something.

So, that is that.

Freedom from night time eating - 13 days

Sugar/sweetener free - 8 days, a trip-up along my path…moving on…

Chemical free - doing the best I can in this society of ours and I am not over thinking things too much.

*Yesterday’s activity: cleaning condo quickly, with my sweeties help, before company came over.  Hey, we have stairs so it was a complete and good work out…  :)   Today:  Muscles!!!

The freedom from the mindless night time eating…..

For the kind of dieter that I am, I MUST relax equally as much as I think about all this craziness.  Key: Stay commited to a couple important things, but relax too.  So far, things are great and I see this becoming a nice little life syle.  I REALLY have not been missing the eating at night at all.  In fact, I like the clean teeth feeling and the ever so empty feeling (very good for my past poor digestion).  I will be sitting and watching a program on TV, maybe even a hockey game (Go Washington, GO!) and I love the freedom from the “one snack, ok, maybe two snacks is okay.  Well the heck, why not one more.”  None of this and it’s wonderful! 

So this and exercise have been helping me to feel strong and healthier.  So, why am I a little nervous?  Well it is the weekend and WHO DOESN’T eat on the weekend nights?  Tonight I am going to a Bath Goddess party and that should be free of snacks, but then there is Saturday night.  No clue what is up, but I want this for me!  Not because of anything other then I want to prove to myself that I can commit to something and be good with it.  A little weight loss would be heavenly too.  SO, I need a little motivation…..hehe

My dear Bif Naked is CANCER FREE (yes she kicked it in the ass big time) and she has a CD coming out this coming week. 

SO my gift to myself for not eating after supper on this first weekend is that I get to buy her new CD on THE DAY it is released.  Other wise I have to wait a week.  Well, this is suddenly easy.  I want the CD!  Also, this summer she’s performing a concert here in Saskatoon, so I desperately need pants or something to go with any number of my tops.  So, my reward for going 30 days with no night time eating after supper (remembering that feeding true hunger is healthy and essential…just a little the curb the real hunger - this is ok) is of course new pants.  Yah!  What if I eat within the 30?  Well I need pants…..and I am pretty sure no one wants to see me naked.  Ok, will cross this bridge when it comes.  It’s mostly all words.  I am going to do my best and the pants will be mine.  But will I have the bragging rights to say I did it?  I WANT THIS !!!

Yah, yah the the motivation should be internal, but I want to make this fun.  No reprimands or feeling bad at any time.  But I do need to stay commited and this requires a little thought.  The fact that my attitude is so great these days is another little reward. 

I feel physically strong and motivated.  And this head of mine is pleasantly on the right way, so that is an added bonus.  

*hugs*

 So it was a night for the spirit.  I was really impressed with the Nickelback concert.  We had these tickets since before Christmas and it was such a treat.  Granted, I had no hearing for about 3 hours after the concert, but hey you only live once.  No complaining.  I am onlying seeing the beauty and heat of the night.  WOW, I have not seen that much fire in an enclosed building EVER!  WOW!!!   I am so glad that I am not young and hung over like so many…. MY GAWD!  The beer and more beer and more beer….

The big band with a moving sound from little Hanna, Alberta.  They still make me move better when I have weights in my hands.  :) 

 Yesterday was a weird day for the Eats, but it was fun to just be free.  Still I ate to the point of being satisfied and stopped.  It was a really fine day for sure with Dim Sum being the main fun meal.  My fave… the shrimp!

It is a new day to eat veggies.  The closest thing to a veggie I ate yesterday was mushrooms.  Had a grapefruit and half a pear.  I swear, I feel awesome today, the day after.  Still, my body is saying a few veggies please!!!  And yes another steamed pork bun too please!  Like a child.  “No, you had one and a half yesterday.  You are good for awhile.  Now eat some balanced meals.”

And how can something so white, taste so good?  Treats.  Mine was a steamed pork bun.  YUM.

In a book I was reading the other day, the author stated that though she has a view that is optimum eating for most, she could not fault a friend who ate what ever the heck he wanted, BUT he just did not become toxic by over eating.  He stopped at That Point, when the body is saying DONE, even though the mouth is saying MORE PLEASE (now).  So.  It was a yummy day where I did not think so much.  I felt life and lived it.  But I feel that I must give my intuition the respect it deserves too.  Everything in me is telling me to respect how I have not been feeling so well again and DO SOMETHING…. gently and with a smile.  A real one….. 

And not be obsessed with that oral fixation that rules the emptiness!!! 

Note to self:  I was not breast fed as a baby!  I recieved a cow milk formula and so when I want love, I crave dairy.  Realising this, I HAVE BEEN NOT craving dairy.  Chocolate is not dairy right?  Well that is George, not me.  LOL

My spider senses are telling me to respect the changes in my body and lack there of.  Use what I know and see if it works.  Something came over me yesterday AM.  It was kind of a little turning point.  I have learned enough in my studies to not cause me to feel insane with the unknown.  Sure I do not know everything and I never will.  But when it comes to my health I have often been confused.  But so what if I was not breast fed and did not acquire the benefits and so what if I have health issues and have to eat better it would seem then some.  I have what I have and I better be thanful for it.  AND I AM.  I am so thankful and so much more at peace with just Being.  If something does not work, if I want to try 7 jobs before I find the thing that makes me happy, SO WHAT.  Just try.  Just relax and enjoy the new.  Where is this all coming from?  I found peace this week in my lack of progress!  Then it came to me in the stillness of a Saturday morning.  Not having success and not having one bloody answer made it okay to just Be and know that trying something was something New.  And it too would lead me somewhere else.  Now, this is a calm I could get use to…… Ha.  Until life ruffles my feathers, AGAIN.   Ok.

I will take it!

Off to spend a relaxing day with my two sweeties……

Quiz:

What is Jennifer’s favorite concert she has ever seen?

a)Bon Jovi  b)James Blunt  c)Beyonce  d)Nickelback  e)Metallica  f)all of the times I have seen Bif Naked  g)the couple times I have seen The Tea Party  h)New Kids on the Block (in the 90s…lol)  i)Jann Arden  j)Def Leppard

 THE ANSWER - James Blunt….. oh yes!  YES, yes, Yes, YES!  And, Bif.  I love my Bif.  Boy though as I think about it, they all were fantastic moments in time.