I have only seen moments of Biggest Loser and it never really stuck with me.  But then last night at the advice of a friend, I watched and I was so drawn into the reality of it.  First, I was cheering for Shay the whole way.  As the fitness and nutrition consultants talked about her needing to be there I was just her biggest fan.  I was taken back to my biggest, felt that for a bit and then came back to the show and it was all about her journey.  It saddened me to the greatest depths when she got the boot.  I could not believe that guy who should never have made the commitment early on with her only to go back on his word.  He should have never done that, but it reminds me to be careful with my words.  To be thoughtful and act, but to think first because words matter.  But there, rambles.

I was surprised how much depth was present in so many parts of the show.  I really am not a fan of the race to lose the most weight, but it seemed there was more to the show.  And it got me to not have sweets last night.  I ate only to satisfy a little hunger, but did not go for the old comforting sugar.  Why did I want?

It was good to reavaluate some of the things that have been going on in my head and make some changes.  There is often a drama that creeps into life that has no business being there.

And, I want to in my own little safe space here at Buddyslim, say that I am SO thankful that I came back here at a time when I needed to, only to read a most random blog of someone I semi-knew, only to read the most important words I needed to read at that time.  And again when the negative thoughts were creeping into my head, I saw her most strong and opinionated words about suicide.  It kind of woke me up, that I needed to make some changes in my life and start seeing what I really have.  And keep striving to be my best….

Other people will do everything they can to make things happen in their world, but that does not mean that that is my truth or my life.  Sometimes only the extreme selfishness of others can be seen and maybe that is because we do not like that in ourselves or maybe it is a reminder that I need to be more selfish in my life. 

I am shocked at how strong I felt with my ability to say no to sweets.   LOL… I always go back to food when I should be thinking about something difficult or doing something else.   Will work on this always….   But really, it was like that tough Ms. Jillian was talking to me.  Boy was I mad at her.  What passion though.   Today I am thankful for the strength I found in myself through that show.  I am thankful for the interconnectedness of our world because someone far far away woke me up to my inner depression.   

So I make the commitment that I will try to think about Shay and personal responsibility when sugar treats come to mind.  I am making this connection that sugar is my go to when I am sad lately.  Not at all surprising when it raises seretonin levels in the brain the fastest.  It just is not so ideal of course.  So other ways to raise this important neurotransmitter is exercise, complex carbohydrates and sunshine.  OK SELF, get on with things……..  *smiles*

Loving Dr. Oz’s challenge.  I am Miss Moderate and I love any healthy eating plan that says, “go ahead and have dessert every second day.”  LOL… I needed that go ahead.  :)   Lately just being told I can have, I have not been wanting so much.  Just when sad…..  hmmmmm.  Interesting.

And on this Remembrance Day, I remember all those who risked and contine to risk their lives to provide peace and safety for us all…..

This seems a bit strange to me to comit to for days and days inorder for things to start to really stick.  But it is just like my Paul McKenna CD, eventually I have to review and reprogram myself because no matter what I say to myself,years and years of images and current ideas invade my brain.  Then it’s my turn to tell myself what is true.

http://psychology.suite101.com/article.cfm/boosting_selfperception

In a nutshell…..or my personal interpretation…

1.  Do not think that others are thinking about me.  There is a good chance they are thinking about themselves, like 99% chance.  REALLY, get over myself.  They do not care.  And if they are on that 1% chance, then their life might be really boring at the time.  So give them a brake.  They are like me, not perfect.

2.  If I am not feeling good about something in particular, then balance it with something fun.  Like if I feel bloated because I had too much salt the week of my period, the I do something wacky like where a hat, big jewelry or maybe buy some lipstick!  YIKES, I am completely out.  Need a new non-tested on animal shade.  (You know awhile ago I was on a rant in my world about using products that do not test on animals.  There are a couple products that I still can not find good products to replace the animal cruelty products, but, can not be perfect.  Still, when it comes to make-up which I see as fun and good for my mood, not entirely necessary, I still can not beautify myself with products that have resulted from companies that test on animals.  Anyways, this is still important to me.  Just occured to me to be kind with myself as there are still some products I use that are not awesome in all ways.  Like my laundry detergent.  Nothing beats it so far.  I dare life to send me some effective, unscented detergent…lol)

3.  Focus on my passions and this leaves no time to worry about the negative at the moment zip, excess flab or whatever.  Be happy.  Find the happiness.  What are my passions in life?  I say again, what are they?

4.  Being honest about those negative images is healthy.  I do like to share with people I trust.  Really love me for me and they do not care about my thighs.  Still getting those thoughts out of my head, priceless!  And it creates an intimacy or bond that is wonderful.   Still, people can be around to correct us once in awhile, but chances are they are not there most of the time.  So it is good to catch those thoughts and spin them with positivity.

5.”Body is tied in with your mind that simply thinking about stressful situations raises your blood pressure, increases your heart rate, and lowers your immune system. If you keep thinking about how ugly or fat you feel, your physical health will suffer along with your emotional health. To feel better about your body, focus on positive thoughts and healthy activities.”

This week, I make self image improvement my class that I will not miss.

NOW, I am going to enjoy this body and feed it well, move it to my heart’s content…..and enjoy whole food.  Yes, I have no choice.  LOL….my non-core foods are NO MORE…. love.  I so enjoyed my day yesterday…. Did not even feel over full once, but things can add up.   Ahhhh kind of made a connection…. Just like those negative thoughts.  It’s okay to have a negative thought, but have too many and suddenly the physical health and mental well being are altered.  No matter what it is, extremes just get in the way of good health.

NO tricep comments and no thigh comments from me this week that are anything other then, damn I feel fine and love my form right now and it’s just getting better and better.

What has really got me supporting the fact that bigger is ok-the wonderful example, Alisa Kleybanova was at the Roger’s Cup.   A bigger girl she is, but she was so strong and not once did her size hinder her.  I mean she was phenomenal and she moved so well, NEARLY making it to the finals.  What a tennis player!!!  I am a fan. 

Loved this and it was pure motivation for me.  Plus love the cute aspect.  Thanks to a buddy…

I am working at doing what I want and when I want.  It just makes for a happy me.  Sometimes I mess up.  Usually ’unperfect’ is the best, most interesting and most fun way to be.  Sometimes the laundry does not get done and the place is a mess!  But I will still take unperfect and accepting.

Except Oscar is perfect.  I know this, because he tells me so.

Oscar wants to play The Call of Cthulhu.

I do not want to vent.  Sometimes I have experienced even more stress when I vent.  Ok, maybe venting the stress in a forest might be ideal because then you would not make others toxic with stress.  Then it would not spread and come back.  I think sometimes it’s a good idea to just breath and listen to a relaxing CD.  I have experienced good results with this.  I have been writing the boo hoo’s for years and it does not cut it.  So….. no toxins released into cyberspace today! *smiles*

What also does not work, getting all cocky about feeling you have overcome something just because it has been working for weeks and weeks.  There must be written somewhere in some Big Book that if you temp the gods or god, they will give you another lesson.  *Bam!* Well I think I did at least a couple times in a few blogs….lol.   At least there is no beating me up.  It’s up to me…..now.

I think I can be normal with eating (my normal), deal well most of the time with the issues of the day, work out normally for me and still lose about half a pound a week.  *fingers crossed*  Will I be down another pound on Friday?  We will see.

Eat when hungry.

Eat what I will enjoy.  (For me this means taking time to prepare good whole foods MORE often and enjoying the food that other’s prepare.)

Eat with awareness and eat slowly.  Sensually eat.

Stop eating when full or pleasantly satisfied. - of course this is the brillance of Mr. McKenna 

A little more processed foods and internal stress lately has certainly broken my balance.  Well,  adjust.

Cheers to a great weekend and coming week……….

Peace in focus.

Had a bit of a tough go lately with eating too fast which slow eating is key to my success.  My mind seems to be everywhere, but not so much on the enjoyment.  Well not today.  Today I make food awareness and pleasure a part of the routine!  Fresh, fresh, fresh food.  Now what is there not to love!

And a thank you to a friend who said to me and I am paraphrasing, ‘you had this kind of a day (yesterday, not ideal), but you are going to have a more balanced day tomorrow, right?! ‘  Hehe….. very nice one!!   *HUGE smiles*

Wishing everyone a peaceful and happy day….

Tea cheers to you.

….the number until I reach my mini goal.  One down.

Strength Contract will be completed by tomorrow, though I did not exercise everyday, no kidding, I did all right.  Posted on a previous blog.

Onward and hopefully downward with a renewed interest in pilates and yoga.  I am looking into taking a class, one or the other.  Will see about the cost and types.  But this will be something I do that is outside my comfort box.  Until I take a class I have a stack of DVDs to help create my body.

One cool thing, when I started here at BS I bought an on-sale satin camosole that I was sure would fit and it did not.  Well it sat in my drawer for a long time, then last week I tried it on for shits and giggles and wow, it is no longer tight around my rib cage.  IT FITS!  I am stoked!  :P  Yah for good surprises.

Most things that happen are really just not worth fretting over.  This week I work even a little more on not sweating the small stuff.

Who says you can’t send a booster note to yourself….lol  Well technically you can’t, but it is the little things we do for ourselves and the positive affirmations to ourselves.  Or even last week when I took note of what I wanted to say to myself and I said I wanted to avoid the negative words in my head.  All these things matter.  And I was not perfect at keeping the negative out.  But I have some new tricks up my sleeve.  Nothing will stop me from creating my best self in mind, body and spirit.  But my efforts come with a gentle touch and this is most soothing to me.

So, my countdown to my mini goal is on.  WW is good again.  It seems fresh and though I know it will bug me at some point, I am putting my big girl panties on (they still are fun though) and remembering to love myself, enjoy life and adhere to portions.  Of course the points were over this weekend and I enjoyed a little TOO much.  But even going over a little, ok a lot is still better then watching things skid completely off the path meal after meal.  This week more Balance and listening to my hunger.  This week I reward my body with healthy choices.  I am such a broken record!!!!

I want to give thanks for all that this body does for me and want to show it, good eats and respect.  This past week was such a scary week with the loss of Michael Jackson and it has had me thinking about my Grandmother whom I never met.  She died of heart problems when my Mom was 13 years old and sometimes lately I feel my heart is sad and over stressed.  So I am going to take note of my body signals and intuitively do what is best for me.

I use to do the unusual things, the fun things and did not care about anything that people thought.  Well I have wilted a bit and this week is about picking myself up and daring myself to be that person who just rocked her world.  So I dare myself to do the extraordinary and really think of this week as my last.  What would I do if it was my last?   Working on those fears, those fears that keep me all locked up and in pain.

Life is too short to sweat the small and it is all too short to not live… Repetition is good for memory…lol

I posed a question to myself about how I could be accountable to drop a couple and feel better.  Well I just enjoyed my food, tried to eat moderately, worked out when I could and stopped when I felt I needed, enjoyed a mini home spa and followed some good wisdom both from a friend and from my inner self.

Wishing everyone a great week.

Tappy tap tap tap!    Beating to my own drum……

Earl grey tea cheers to you !

Strength, Courage, Talent, Warrior, Beautiful Woman

“Hopefully I’m better. I’ve evolved.”  -Bif Naked

Crash and Burn - “We get what we deserve …. You’re a star / But nothing about you shines.”

Yes, there’s truth and honesty from chaos and pain and when you can come out the other side stronger, then maybe that’s the purpose of this all.  Many brilliant people say this, so just maybe…. *little laugh*

Again, I come back to this feeling that’s exploding from me and lighting up everything around me.  I fight it and I want to look all pretty, and I feel imperfect.  Oh yeh, somethings matter and somethings don’t.  Get over my f**king self, I tell my other self.  NOTHING that others say matters.  All good things come to those who just do and those who believe !  Telling and hearing is never believing though and this is so hard.  Believing has to come from somewhere and if I just hear from within one more time, I might snap.  I’m not fully sure about this believing, but it seems hot, fragrant and as real as my Earl Grey Tea….just not sure how to get a grasp on it.   I’ll just take it all in and…be.

Off to the concert tonight and I am so happy because I just feel so incredibly lucky.  I appreciate all that I have.

“Be Content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.”

“A good traveler has no fixed plan, and is not intent on arriving.”

“If you look to others for fulfillment, you will never be truly fulfilled.”

“If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading.”

- Lao-tzu

“All the Buddhas of all the ages have been telling you a very simple fact: Be - don’t try to become. Within these two words, be and becoming, your whole life is contained. Being is enlightenment, becoming is ignorance.”

OSHO

Reprogramming Your Subconscious Mind

http://www.squidoo.com/subconscious_mind#module3077364

* Be the guardian of everything that enters your mind - Know that everything you see hear and feel goes directly into your subconscious mind and you must manage the information you allow in. Eliminate negative information as much as you can by limiting the amount of news you read, stop seeing violent movies, read only positive information. Keep the positive information flowing into your mind and your subconscious will naturally become more positive.

* Set aside time for you - Everyone needs time to reflect. Whether you pray, meditate, practice yoga, or just read positive information. Set aside an hour each day for yourself. Your subconscious mind needs to know just how important you are and nothing shows this importance than having time for yourself. Many believe there is not a free hour in the day for themselves. Whether you have to wake an hour early or go to bed an hour later having an hour of peace is an important way to clear your mind and open yourself to the possibilities your subconscious mind can offer.

* Speak kindly to yourself - When you look in the mirror do you like what you see? Do you compliment yourself on your most outstanding attributes? Stop all negative talk to yourself immediately. You are a perfect creation of God and you have beautiful traits that need recognizing. Remind yourself of your great eyes or your winning smile-whatever sets you apart from everyone else in a positive way. Your subconscious will thank you.

* Project Yourself into The Future - The late, great Earl Nightingale created a whole new industry (self-improvement) after a 20-year study on what made people successful. The bottom-line result of his research was simply, “We Become What We Think About.” Whatever thoughts dominate our minds most of the time are what we become. That’s why goal setting is so critical in achieving success because it keeps us focused on what’s really important to us. He then said that the easiest way to reach our goals is to pretend that we had ALREADY achieved our goals. That is, begin to walk, talk and act as though we are already experiencing the success we seek. Then, those things will come to us naturally through the power of the subconscious mind.

* Surround yourself with positive people - Negative people can quickly lead to negative thoughts. Make sure your group of friends are those that love and admire you for the great person you are. Eliminate any time spent with anyone who brings you down. You can’t afford the hit to your subconscious mind simply to maintain a negative friendship.

* Use affirmations to your advantage and the optimum times when your subconscious mind is listening - Immediately upon waking and immediately upon going to bed are the times when your conscious and subconscious mind are closest. It is at these times when you get the biggest bang out of your affirmations. Use positive affirmations at these times to super-program the subconscious. Say affirmations before sleeping and apon getting up - it is when we are closest to our subconscious.

* Write Down The 10 Things You Want This Year - By making a list of the things that are important to you, you begin to create images in your mind. It’s been said that your mind will actually create chaos if necessary to make images become a reality. Because of this, the list of ten things will probably result in you achieving at least eight of them within the year.

* Be Grateful - Oprah Winfrey has done a magnificent job of reminding us all how important it is to have gratitude in our lives. Having gratitude allow us to realize the blessings we already have and keeps us open to receive so much more. Make a list of everything you are grateful for and grow this list as time goes on. On any day when it seems that nothing is going your way refer back to this list and remind yourself of all the blessings you already have. Your subconscious mind needs to know what you are grateful for so it can manifest more of the same for you.

* Write Out an “Ideal Scenario” - Pretend that you are a newspaper reporter that has just finished an interview about the outstanding success that you’ve achieved and the article is now in the newspaper. How would it read? What would be the headline? Write the article yourself, projecting yourself into the future as though it had already happened. Describe the activities of your daily routine

* Maintain a lighthearted/happy spirit - Never allow the pressures of the day to bring you down. Make it a point to be light hearted and happy as much as humanly possible. Dwelling on the negatives of life badly affects your subconscious mind. Keeping a positive spirit will keep your subconscious mind well programmed and open to wonderful possibilities.

* The Three Most Important Things - Decide on three things that you want to achieve before you die. Then work backwards listing three things you want in the next twenty years, ten years, five years, this year, this month, this week and finally, the three most important things you want to accomplish today.

* Make A List Of Your Values - What’s really important to you? Your family? Your Spiritual Life? Your leisure time? Your hobbies? Decide on what your most important values in life are and then make sure that the goals you set are designed to include and enhance them. now that are very successful. Don’t forget the headline. (Example: “Jane Doe Wins Top Network Marketing Award of the Decade.”)

* Ask Yourself Good Questions - As you think about your goals, instead of WISHING for them to come true, ask yourself HOW and WHAT CAN YOU DO to make them come true. The subconscious mind will respond to your questions far greater than just making statements or making wishes.

* Surround yourself with your favorite things - Begin today placing your favorite things in full view in your home. Whether these be family pictures, treasures from your travels or sport memorabilia, always keep these things visible. You should be completely comfortable at home and your subconscious mind will benefit your renewed feeling of comfort and the peace you will have at home when you have your favorite things around you.

* Focus On One Project At A Time - One of the greatest mistakes people make in setting goals is trying to work on too many things at one time. There is tremendous power in giving laser beam focused attention to just one idea, one project or one objective at a time.

* Learn lucid dreaming… Once You Learn Lucid Dreaming, You Won’t Be Able To Wait Until Bedtime
If there was a way you could experience your desires before you actually achieved them wouldn’t that be exciting? Well, there is, and it’s called Lucid Dreaming. Now I’m not going to mislead you. This is not something you can go home this evening and experience but with practice you can experience anything you desire in your dreams. A Lucid Dream is simply dreaming while you know you are dreaming. Many people can remember having Lucid Dreams but, there is a difference between having a Lucid Dream and being able to control your dreams. You need to accomplish the first before you’ll be able to accomplish the second.

*Free Your Conscious Mind for Subconscious to Work
By Enoch Tan Platinum Quality Author
You can be happy to know that to be successful, it is really essential to take more time for enjoyable diversion, instead of working longer and harder. Working smarter means working with your whole mind. Don’t do more work with your conscious mind than is necessary or you are wasting energy. Hold your mind on what you intend to manifest and then go do something else.

Had to share.  :)  Can’t be peachy-keen happy all the time, but it’s my job to live this life to the fullest so the choice is always mine…even if it means a little reprogramming.

 So Ms Jenny McCarthy has inspired me to rethink more commitments for my 30 days.  Well it was not JUST her. See, my consumption of chocolate in the last week has been at an all time high.  I know the weight of the dark Hershey chocolate chip bag and in secret I ate one and bought another because I felt so naughty.  When you put your plastics in the recycling bag, they are NOT easily forgotten, like in the past when I just put them into the garbage.  This new lifestyle of recycling is good in many ways - no lying or “forgetting” allowed.  Like buying another bag of chips would actually last, NO of course not.  Plus we indulged in more chocolate last night.  My god!   So, after reading Jenny’s blog (see Oprah.com)  about how she is challenging herself with no eating after 7PM and no sugar for JUST 30 days, I too am making some neccessary changes.

I am eating before 7PM.  Last night stretched to 7:30 and the night before was 8:00ish.  So no more of this.  Still it was my meals, no snacking after, but still.  8:00 is too late for me.  I have been successful for 5 official nights now.  *Pats self on back*  (Will feed true hunger with reasonable food as to not stress myself.  Just NO MINDLESS eating.)

I am eating sugar/sweetener-free.  YIKES, hey?  This is the biggest thing for me.  This and chocolate have become a little addiction lately.  I say one tablespoon of my Mom’s strawberry jam but no it is double and a little more.  This will mean virtually nothing processed and that is just fine with me. Not eating at night has been a breeze, I am going to feel this missing in my life for awhile but I know I will be better for it.

I am also eating a chemical/additive-free diet.  I am not going to preach about this badness.  I know it is crap and this is for me.  When I grabbed an antihistamine the other night because I was so uncomfortable, that was shocking.  But you can be damn sure I will be not eating the crap that made me feel so awful in the first place, well for 30 days for sure!

Seriously if my Mother bitches about her seasonal allergies again I may snap on her ass too (see I kind of snapped on MY ass/self..lol).  She smokes and then proceeds to blame everything outside of her own actions.  *shakes head*  WHY DO WE DO THIS TO OURSELVES???  What ever, me thinking about the past chocolate and sugar binges is not productive.  Some professionals think it may not even be helpful to figure out why we eat/behave as we do.  The most productive thing might be to actually retrain ourselves with new behaviors.  No more over thinking things.  It is unproductive in a world and big brain that may be beyond understanding.  Much less stressful to just chose to make new choices and do so in a supporting environment.  So this is what the 30 day challenge is about….retraining.

What I have learned in my studies….. It is natural to have cravings if one is not getting the proper balance of nutrients.  Like if one eats a higher protein diet (and I have been doing this to deal with some hypothyroid-like symptoms and things are improving and the weight is coming off little by little) one will need NEED more water and will desire more sugar (carbs).   (Also people will NEED more calcium.  This is why those with a low fat vegetarian diet do not require as much calcium as those who eat high fat dairy, meat and sugar diet.) And because the body really wants it instantly, it will often want the simple sugar and not necessarily the bread or the pasta.  Hmmm…. I think I experienced this.  Only I am not a child and with this challenge, I have to be aware and eat the little more healthy carbohydrates in balance.  Because seriously sugars are prime feedings for disease/cancer.  God and I know this too.  Well, cheers to changes.  There is no stress because it is 30 days, but I would like to develop healthier choices.  That is the goal-Life long health and weight loss.

The thing that is keeping my moods (well some moodiness with the sugar! duh!) in check and helping to create my past shapely legs, OF COURSE the exercise!  Not eating at night is helpful because I am sleeping better too and there is less slow moving food in my gutt.   All good things.  Especially the Hard Body Yoga.  I think my legs MUST be looking FINE.  David has said he would like to try!  I told him when he does it to take it easy the first time.  I am so excited to have an exercise partner, maybe, hopefully…..hehe.

So I am losing weight slowly.  But the scale is nearly dead and my computer is DEAD.  I posted that it was slowly taking a downward turn (shutting off when ever it wanted) well, it is DEAD.  So, it will be awhile before I have a new one.  I am using my sweetie’s and truly it feels like a beast compared to my laptop…lol  Anyways I am thankful for the use.  But I will be on the computer less for awhile.

If I should faulter a little with my 3 personal challenges I WILL let ya know.  Here I am, honest with me (YAH!) and I will also be honest with you.  Buddyslim is a part of my life.  I just have to use it affectively.  ;)  I will be posting a new picture at the beginning of summer along with my ticker.  The old ticker has been out of commision but it WILL be back then.  When my metabolism slowed, so did my spirit.   But I am happy to say, both are soaring.  Well it just seems good to see some slight visual changes.  I will take this ride on the turtle ANY DAY !