Jennifer

So I am awake.  Oscar has waken me up and for what, I do not know.  He has food.  Maybe it’s the rain.  My heavens it smell wonderful!  I feel weird today ??  but I am liking it.

I love it when I opt for a different breakfast and just enjoy the new flavor.   Even if it’s simple, it’s perfect.  A drizzle of agave and salted organic butter on brown rice bread toast was yummy with my 1/2 banana.  I woke up craving almond butter and it’s so weird, but I have noticed that when I crave something I often do not eat it slowly enough.  I thought a change was good and it was!  Most enjoyable! And no thoughts until after that maybe I did not get enough protein.  Why NOT chose the almond butter?  It’s a better choice right?  Well maybe not.  I should avoid most nuts.  The protein thing has been a problem, thinking I need more and more protein when infact, my body might have been saying less and less.  I reason this out since doing this diet and getting a little less protein I feel better.  And well I was so wrong, I can still lose weight and eat around 45-50 grams of protein.  Some days a little more.  Whatever I feel….

I thought I’d be irritable not having this large list of foods on this diet, but I feel clear and usually quite content.  There were times before I think I knew what it felt to be a drug addict…wanting, wanting, needing?  I would lie if I said I did not miss cheese and eggs…. I DO.  But my goal is about getting my intestinal health back into good shape….. just like the rest of me.   I have had soy and feel okay and I feel this must be because I have not had it really so much.   I am not going to start having it a lot either.  I am keeping it extremely moderate.  Like last night.  I made a small chocolate soy sundae with a couple cherries and a 1/4 of a banana…YUM.   Speaking of which I enjoyed that treat like I can not even tell you.  It was heaven!   I was slightly hungry, but I do need to watch out for the mindless night time eating.  I do not need it to creep back in.

The neatest thing about this diet, is there are times I want to eat something for shear boredom and NOTHING appeals.  Those former go to foods (corn, dariy, wheat, peanut) are the ones I can not have on this elimination/allergy diet.  So this is working out REALLY well for my weight loss.  *big smiles*  So many times I have just sat down realising, I was not hungry anyways!  Then there are times I am really hungry and I just eat something on the Can-Have-list.  All good.

Exercise is going well.  No more muffin top!!  Hip hip horray!!!  And my waist is back down to the low 30s instead of the mid 30s.  My legs are toning up and are down 1 whole inch.  LOL.  Well it’s progress.

One thing.  I want to see the documentary with Joaquin Phoenix called Earthlings.  The craziest thing is, it has been out since 2005!! Where have I been???  It’s about the treatment of animals by the world’s food producers. My problem is I feel better eating a diet that is best described as the Paleo-diet (hunter- gather, veggies, fruits, meat protein, seeds) + a vegan diet (I would normally say vegetarian because I would eat dairy and eggs, but not at the moment).  This works best for me I find.  Paleo and vegan are opposite but this is what my meals look like and I feel healthy.  But it has been brought to my attention in a very upset manner, you know who, my Big Sweet Pea, hehe, that if I watch the documentary I’ll be eating all vegan again….No!  That was not healthy for me!  Last time I changed our eating habits (though I still cooked my sweetie his meat sometimes : )  after I read Skinny Bitch and was inspired by the written text descriptions of animal treatments.  For god sakes if a hockey player goes vegetarian/soon to be vegan maybe (he says) after seeing Earthlings, well how am I suppose to resist when morally I already struggle sometimes with meat?  The fact is, I do feel better physically with a little meat.  Two to three ounces is usually enough most days out of the week.  But I really want to see it!  It’s like how they describe people gawking at a car wreck, only I can not do that.  So…….what to do.   I am at a loss.  I know I believe in the correct and human treatment of animals and this is achieved on some farms but NOT the massive farms where the majority of our animal protein comes from.  I feel conflicted.  I want to see it………………………………..  But David knows me and I do too.

Ahhh….. 7:35 AM  time to workout.  *deep breathing*

So I weighed in early to, a sneak preview so to speak, but the scale was giving me 3 completely different numbers. Hmmm…. I do not care about finding a new scale either. I will get weighed at the doctors soon enough when I go for my physical. I do not need the scale to tell me my my size 10s are snug. Wore them today. So I know what I need to do, but I do not feel pressure or ticked off. Time to eat like a thin chick, but more importantly then watching those portions and drinking plenty of fluids is to continue with the exercise. My size has not changed really. I am still 30/41 (wasit/hips) so I just need to get smart. I saw a direct correlation with stress and FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER, love handles ??? All righty! Yeh that was good feed back. Junk plus stress equals badness….bad love (handles). Anyways, I am not giving up on my goals, but if my 10s are comfortable, I am pretty okay with this. Why the surrendering/attitude change?

I LOVE HOW MY OVER ALL BODY LOOKS. No it is not perfect, but I look better when I am a little more fuller on top. I start dieting TOO much and I look weird on top, BUT I figure a bit slower, more definition on the bottom, maybe another permanent 10 lost this year, and maybe this is good Jennifer speed.

This week has been really tough for me. I do not like Mother’s Day and Father’s Day for personal reasons. But if I can start to put those foods down before things get out of hand, well then I say I am a success. There are times when in life I have felt completely alone and scared and I ate and ate and ate. Those behaviors are still with me, but my past does not define me. I am grateful for a smaller stomach that does not allow for lots of food. That is the thing with eating slow, the hunger comes quicker. And so I do not have to keep going. I can have some cake or whatever and then I can stop. Thin people eat whatever, they just do not eat it ALL! And when I do indulge, a bit too much, well there is always activity. I love movement. My muscles are doing some good work for me these days. They are keeping my form pretty decent. What else can a girl ask for? Love for me? Yeh, not getting down on myself is the BEST NEWS I HAVE TO SHARE. I feel cool and calm and motivated.

OK… I will ask…. I want to find a flattering bathing suit. Thank you Santa. But I think this will require going to a real swim suit store and not Walmart…. they are so awful…all of them! lol The colors, the weird buckles- bamboo and metal, the styles….. YUCK! NO bling bling! I do need to try in on though. I just can not order on line. Am I procrastinating? Entirely possible.

What I am most pleased with, MY MOM who is over weight and has high cholesterol is going on and on about how she is changing her food choices. I think this is so awesome, but everyone has to come to that certain thing, IN THEIR OWN TIME. Had a good conversation with her today.

Ahhh…… finding some balance and enjoying this ride. I hope you are too. Have a great week! *hugs*

So the batteries are reading low on the scale and there are no 9 volt batteries to be found at this early morning. Ha! Great. I do have my tape measure. The first number is the number recored today. Neck: 12.75 - 13, chest: 35 - 35.5, upper left arm: 11.5 - 11.75, hips: 40.5 - 41, waist: 30 - 31.5, left thigh: 23.75 - 24, calf: 16.5 - 17. That is a decrease of 2.75 inches (lol) but I did not try that hard About 3 weeks? Not sure. I would guess about 95% vegan but the least dairy in my life. So, I have not at all been dieting to lose lately. Rather it seems I have been enjoying life - eating (a few too many sweets and I MUST take care of this as I can feel the affects and not enough veggies) and exercising (doing it all) and recording nothing. Now this is not good for keeping me in that line I so love to be on, but it is good for my well being.

I have an indicator that we are eating too much processed and junky foods. Recycling!!! When I/we have had a bad week the recycling bins are loaded. The guys come by to pick up our paper, plastics, glass, tetra paks, tin, etc every two weeks and there was a couple weeks where there was almost NO recycling and I had to think, DID WE EAT OUT? No, it was just a good week. That was when I first started eating this way. Anyways, time to get back to more whole foods and less recycling.

Last night was great! At noon I put on a vegetarian chili (tomatoes, mushrooms, corn, 2 kinds of beans, spices, soy ground ground - most of which was left overs from the freezer), made some multigrain pasta and had a big green salad. That was fine. But this week I have been reaching for the simplier carb (popcorn and rice cakes) snacks and that is a no no of course if you want to lose. So, I will think fruit (it at least has fiber and better nutrients), nuts/seeds (measured), veggies, and I am on the search for something higher in protein that is not soy. I will find something. Tis my mission!

So my mom has high cholesterol and seems to be very weird lately. Of course it could be that she is getting older (53 is NOT THAT OLD), but I think it is here meds that are making her have not such good balance and be VERY forgetful and other things. We are talking on the phone and I ask her how many fruits and veggies she gets in a day? 2-3!!!! Ok I went over with her all the ways she could increase here intake because this is simply too low for someone who is really needing those antioxidants. Did I mention she smokes? Yeh well I have learned that there is no changing this, so I thought I could maybe get her to eat more life (F&V) at least. All one has to do is add more into their day to feel the benefits, but I guess it does seem weird to aim for 6-8. Well it is a start. I DO WHAT I CAN. It is very difficult when the answers seem clear. But I do not have all the answers. Yesterday I felt helpless as I listened to the news and heard them saying how unhealthy most canned foods are. The lining of cans tend to be lined with a toxic substance called bisphenol A (BPA). The research never stops! The vet says feed Oscar more wet/canned food, so I do. Well what is one to do for their loved ones? I guess organic and fresh are the ways to go, but grief it is so frustrating to listen to the news. I sometimes think living in a bubble would be the way to go, but then alas, no flowers. I need flowers. So, we do what we can right and I know my issues. Stress! Dealing……

Has not been easy lately. We are waiting on a plummer to come by and fix a leaking pipe in the kitchen. I am really not pleased but I also know that it will not help to yell at people. So, I feel today is the day. We have been waiting for 6 days now and there is always some reason, some screw up. I thought this new management would be better, but this is it. I can only handle how I see the situation and it is not worth screaming. Neither one of us wants to leave the condo, so I am going to work this AM and then he will go to work later this PM. Luckily we have some flexibility right now.

Starting today, this is tough with the next 2.5 days being weekend days, I am thinking about getting real with progress. Workouts and good meals/snacks. I also need to drink more water even though I do not seem to be sweating. I think I just need to drink more. Hopefully we can go play tennis because WE NEED SOME OUTDOOR FUN!

Go Penguins Go!!! Ok, my Oilers are out and then all Canadian teams, then my Dallas Stars (how many more years will we see Mike Modano??? *sigh*)

Note to self:

Non vegan foods that I liked eating- red salmon, organic yogurt (it was OK really), bottled clam juice (good in my soup and very high in iron), eggs

Non vegan foods that were not so fine- too much honey, and butter *sigh* BLAH!

ALL IN ALL… I have seen what makes me feel good and what does not. So I will try to hold onto this over the weekend and beyond. If David tempts me with Tim Hortons I may give him a kick in the behind. But I will tell him of my goals and thoughts since that is only fair. I feel fiesty and full of energy today.

More whole grains, fruits, veggies, measured nuts and seeds/nut butters/almond milk (they really satisfy the need for those healthy fats, vitamins and minerals and you only need a little)…….. PORTIONS.

So, I am going to try and be really good because I want to see some inches GONE, but when I am not so ideal, I will enjoy and smile. Remembering, portions. Eventually…………………………………….. Oh yeh, and I will try and decrease the recycling load. One bin instead of two? Well we will try.

Have a super healthy and happy weekend all…… Life is wonderful from most perspectives. *adjusts*