Jennifer

I am completely saddened right now.  My ear eczema is at times getting the better of me and I really can not deal with a bandaid solution of cortisone from the doctor.  This is clearly a situation where I must respect myself and my diet and keep the stress low/nil.  I am ON this Elimination diet so this should help.  No more bad fats-even good oils that are baked in store bought chips.  I seem to have flair ups after stress, lots of protein and bad fats.  OK.  I am going to breath and try not to be petrified.  Frick I sound melodramatic, but this is how I feel right now.   I will get through this WITH OUT CUTTING OUT MY EARS from the itching!  / :(   One saving grace - Yah I am not apparently contageous.  Though I am apparently my own worst enemy! - this being an autoimmune thing.  *rolls eyes*  Tell me something I don’t know! 

I have studied plenty about eczema, but not ear eczema so much.  Though I have to say, I have read enough on the Net and I am GOOD now.  I have some information and gathered bits and pieces here.  Now I will just do what I do.  Relax my mind (not easy, but I am working on this) and be committed to the plan.

Weight loss is not my issue or concern.  My goal is to maintain.  My plan is remaining itch free in my ears, keep them moisturized, taking my flaxseed and flaxseed oil, other supplements and lotioning up as my whole body is kind of dry.  I LOVE cocoa butter!!  I am avoiding all glycerin products because they bug me.  Oh did I say I LOVE COCOA BUTTER.  I smell like a giant cookie!  NOW, who needs sweets when you can smell your sweet self all day?! lol  Though I am craving fats ( is my body not getting fats?, so I am taking plant enzymes including lipase and will be talking to my doctor), I am not at all craving sweets.  In fact they actually look like poison to me and I could care less at this time.  Yuck, and yucko to many things…..alcohol, anything refined, bad fats, even most meat.

I am going to keep up with the contract - 3-4 days of strength, 30 or 30+ !  I also need to walk, do yoga and some unique cardio activitites that help me drain my lymph nodes.  It is all good.  Excercise will keep my spirits up.  Just need to listen to my body and not over do it.

Note, bathing is a treat as those will know!  Must avoid water in ears.  I think after a few experiences, I have it down.  lmao.  Living and learning as I go…. I find a drop of mineral oil in each ear and having extra cotton balls near by to switch when they become wet better then just coating the outside of the cotton ball with Vasoline.  That messiness did not work for me and I thought it was really coated…nope.

All right, I feel excellent at this moment as this seemed to be good spiritual detox, so I am going to enjoy the moment!

Any personal stories are welcome.   Especially if you can share some light and good stories of people recovering.  Thank you.

I am a little shocked because it has never taken so little to cause me to go from healthy to a little off balance with the emotions and my health.  I would be lying if I said I was fine.  I was a little frustrated, but am a little better today.

My sugar intake began with a balsamic salad dressing, then I had hoison sauce, a peanut sauce dip, some Thousand island dressing, then a few bites of cake and then some Wendy fries.  Yes their fries have sugar in them!   Weird.  THIS IS THE ONLY SUGAR/SWEETNER I had in 18 days.  So I am not blaming the sugar for my issues but I feel it is a contributing factor.  Ahhh how I just started to convince myself that it was all right.  Well seriously, other then feeling awful yesterday, it is not a big deal…lol  The thing is, I can start over.  Today is day 1 for no sugar.  Tonight is night 23 for NO mindless night time eating.  I am keeping some perspective though, as this is the healthiest and best I have ever felt, until this last day.  What matters is that I have awareness and I am not beating myself up over anything.  Even with these little goals, they are more for fun than say obsessive goals and reprimands.  It is more fun and it keeps me more focussed BECAUSE I am like a little kid, I just want and want and want…..  And without this awareness, I have had and had and had in the past.  So Jenny’s 30 day challenge was in fact better then I could have imagined.  It is like a leather collar and chain only, I like it.

And I do well when I am not on a team, but rather I am just doing it for myself.

I would start the sugar challenge all over again if I could have a new tasty experience with food like I did with part of that piece of cake (I WILL NOT describe it….hehe).  It was awesome to share with my sweetie, though I must say, I hardly knew he was there, I was so involved with the pleasurable cake, my drug.  My bad!! lol   So strange, but I think in the past I have tried to achieve that new experience with food when it is good, but it is never as good as the first palatable experience.   Hmmm….

I am making one exception though because life is too short to live with SUCH restrictions.  I am allowing for a little raw honey or an equivalent in say somthing like that cranberry spinach salad that I mentioned in a previous blog. ;)  YUM.  If I want, that will be a treat to enjoy.

What I learned when I just had those few foods that were sweetened with sugar.  I ENJOYED THEM so much!  I really aprreciated and savored whereas I never use to.  That was a good thing to realise.
Holding onto this little treasure…..

Intuitive Eating can work and it can also not work for me.  It works when I am balanced, but when I am not balanced, that ‘intuitive choice’ might be more of an unhealthy desire.  So the 10 principles still are the healthiest I have ever found.  I just know I have needed to address my little addictions and formulate new ways of being.

Goal: find my balance, reclaim my hormones and feel healthy again. And play with my will power and continue with this lifestyle of option for sugar free choices instead of countless food choices that are filled with various kinds of sweeteners.

I will likely only toot my own horn if I make it to my 30 days, that is if I don’t lose tract.  It could happen.  ;)  Other then that, no more talk of sugar.  It gives nothing back to my life by eating it (ok…. a few moments of pleasure) or talking about it.  The fact is, my body does better with out it.  So….. moving on……

Boy o boy….. I recall just writing recently about how excellent I have been feeling.  Things changed quickly, but luckily I am back on my wagon and am enjoying life.  Off to walk around the river with a friend.  It is such a cool day, but it will be great.  My first river walk of the year. 

Sugar is opportunistic!  I should write about all the reasons that sugar is bad for our health and I am talking the highly refined sugar, but I will just keep it specific here.

Raw sugar,  honey, molassas, maple syrup in fact do come with some healthy properties like vitamins and minerals.  On the other hand, the biggest thing that refined sugar does to us is that it depletes our bodies.  Now in this society, people are eating less and less completely whole food and so vitamins are lost during processing.  Not to mention healthy oils are lost or changed and unhealthy fats are added. Anyways, back to sugar!  Sugar requires vitamins inorder to be metabolised in the body.  Now the body needs glucose, but this can be attained from fruits, vegetables, legumes and whole grains and rare and natural sweeteners.  Refined sugar that comes into our bodies depletes vitamins and minerals from our body (minerals that are necessary for an INSANE amount of other bodily funtions) and gives nearly nothing back.  Well it provides us with low energy and excess weight if that counts!  Plus disease loves sugar because it lowers our immune system.  So what is the pay off ?  Why eat the crap?

Well I was CRAVING last night and I know I had a light supper on carbs.  Not absent, just lower as I had a little rye garlic toast, veggies and some corn (made a southwest chicken stir fry with corn, veggies and Franks hotsauce).  I was okay with this because I was in control.  But I SO WANTED peanut butter pie!!!  (and I was not craving fat, I did get plenty yesterday).  I wanted and I could hardly remember what it tasted like.  I could feel the texture, but the tastey nutty sweetness was gone from my tastebud memory.  And so, I road the wave.  Talked with David and realised that I have gone 19 nights (going on 20….tonight is a big one, BBQ) withOUT eating at night for emotional reasons or boredom.  I could not do it to myself.  I was not even hungry.  I nearly let myself convince myself that I was, BUT I WAS NOT.  So, I am better for the discussion and the ride on that wave.  I was in control and I came out of it just fine.  (In the past I did not come out fine.  I caved many a times because my brain was operating on sugar from past meals.  No more.)  Note to self: Health was NOT what got me through these moments of craving.  Intellectually I could see that it was a poor choice, but that was NOT the reason I got over my craving.  I needed to remember my goal.

So tonight I want to have a hearty supper and enjoy some fun times with some good people.  I think I am making a Mediterrianin chickpea salad for the BBQ.

A buddy sent me a recipe and I had to say….YUM.  I will be making this SOON.

My tweaked version of Cranberry Spinach Salad:

*   1 t. of butter + 2 t. of cold pressed olive oil
* 3/4 cup almonds or pecans (soaked and dried)
* 1 pound spinach, rinsed and torn into bite-size pieces
* 1/2-1 cup dried cranberries
* 2 tablespoons lightly toasted sesame seeds
* 1 tablespoon poppy seeds
* ~1/4 c. raw honey
* 2 teaspoons minced onion
* 1/4 teaspoon paprika
* juice of one lemon
* 1 t.-ish apple cider vinegar
* 1/4-1/2 c. cold pressed extra virgin  olive oil or any lighter tasting oil AND a couple T. of water if need be

DIRECTIONS

1. In a pan, melt butter and oil over medium heat. Place nuts in pan until lightly toasted. Remove and set aside.
2. In a large bowl, place spinach with the cooled nuts and cranberries.
3. In a medium bowl, whisk together the sesame seeds, poppy seeds, honey, onion, paprika, lemon juice, cider vinegar, and oil. Toss with spinach just before serving and ENJOY.

*Note I made changes to this with out trying.  I am not having sweeteners at this time so I will enjoy this later.  But I love this recipe.  I have had something similar in a restaurant with strawberries instead of cranberries.  YUM!  This will be great.  I think next week I am going to do some tweaking and make this, but I will use a fruit puree -pineapple or a few dates instead of sugar??? not sure.  YES dates come with some nice nutrients.  I can not wait!  Ahh it seems sinful to have dates and yet I know better… Moderation, Mother Nature and my butt will thank me later while my tastebuds thank me im The Moment  :)  I am leaning towards pineapple, oil, pineapple juice, 1-2 dates and then the rest of the ingredients for the dressing.

http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Jamies-Cranberry-Spinach-Salad/Detail.aspx   -  site of the original recipe.

Hope Everyone has a wonderful weekend.  *hugs*

Buddyslim Politics.  Does it seem crazy OR is it a glitch that some blogs remain at the top of the list while others, new buddies especially who are wishing for sincere support, get placed at the bottom of the list?  All because in the options setting you can change the time so that one’s blog stays high?  Why?   I think it only fair that when a blog is posted that it goes to the top of the list.  This should not be a place that represents popularity, but rather should be a place that encourages weight loss support for those who need it.  If this is a concern of yours, please do NOT comment on this blog about this.  It is not affective.  Please write Dr. Marc an email with your concerns if you have any.  

My blog usually goes to about the 10th or so position and I did not know why until I read a buddies blog stating how this happens.  I adjusted the numbers for this blog so people would see it and read it.  But my settings are back to normal.  If one could answer a question for me, :) what is the purpose of this setting option?  I did care a lot about the answer, but now, not so so much I guess.    

FEBRUARY !!!  Ohhh-yeh!

So I have been thinking that Change is indeed a fine and wonderful little word.  And when actions support it, well that is just wonderful.  But what do I want for myself?  I have been thinking about how I feel about food.  Normally the only time I want food it is when I am emotional (not really much of this AT ALL *smiles* lately) and obviously when I am hungry.  I have not been craving anything.  I just eat when I am hungry and aim for whole and balanced food.  I like that a lot.  I start to get that feeling of how smaller, non-obsessed people (with food anyways) must feel.  It is so peaceful to imagine that. 

Earlier this week I felt that overwhelming sense of fear with foods and that is something I need to address at least in words because that is not a way I want to live.  But when you feel awful when you eat certain things, or like a buddy suggest, certain combinations, well it kind of makes you wonder about food choices.  I have found peace in the fact that this will be over.  *fingers crossed*  I do have an itsy-bitsy fear that the allergist will say, you are not allergic to anything.  I mean I do not want to have an allergy or sensitivity, but I want an answer to the awful feelings.  So, fear.  Well after a good week I did have a day yesterday where I just fed myself well/a lot and I felt so good.  Asian Curry Chicken, Chicken Salad Rolls (no vermicelli, only veggies and chicken) and Singapore Noodles w/ loads of veggies.  I ate a lot compared to what I have been eating and felt awesome in all ways!!!

 Then I thought to myself, that was such an awesome treat.  No I do not want this every week, but damn.  I do love food!  Eating like this, on whole food/almost no sugar seemed to make me really appreciate it that much more.  I do not even want any more today.  It was that, a damn fine meal.  But now I want the simpler foods.  One thing is for sure, changes are seen in this body and I do not need the scale to reaffirm this. 

When I was 152 after being at buddyslim for a few months and SO CLOSE to my set goal weight at the time, I was so disgusted that my body was not what I had hoped.  But letting the number go and just realising that I have a body to create AND THE NUMBER DOES NOT MATTER and that the process in getting there is kind of fun.  Sculpting a firm and True body is much more important to me then a saggy, baggy number-”perfect” body. 

So, these are the things that I am gently holding in my hand and in my thoughts as I begin this month.  Should I say that knowing that I usually mess things up?  I feel like I can tempt it.  I finally know what I want and it IS attainable.  I think in the past I have had doubts.  Like what if my partner and I do not eat the same things and what if we do not eat out enough to satisfy our desires?  So often, WE know, eating out is just unsatisfying, disappointing….  Well,  I have told him, when I want something, I will have it.  He can have whatever he wants.  Tis the Intuitive way!  :)  But the days of me eating because it is there, well that is reserved for those times when I am a little emotional IF I CHOSE and I will have those times I am nearly positive.  But there is no need to make a bigger deal out of it then it is.  It is one moment and time and it stops when the mind allows it to stop.  Why is this sooooo easy now?  This week when I fed my body the nutrients it needed with out all the added chemicals and sugars to mess with my brain (emotions) and body (health) I felt the peace.  Like no cake or cookie could entice me into feeling any other way.  Health and sanity (and I can feel crazy at times) was the big prize!  Now that was achieving peace in mind, body and spirit.   Before I achieved this state by means of control and now, that toxic way of thinking has been shead.  Back into the soil, it is sure to come forth again.  But in smaller amounts?  I think so.  The fear has gone away in this aspect of my life anyways. 

Nearly all whole and nearly no sugar.  Intuitive Eating is my guide, which means I am the one living this life, uninfluenced by the bloody and perverse advertisements and ideals we too often bow to. 

My body knows best.

The Plan:  All weeks, no less then 5 days and preferably 6 days of activity

First & Third week- Structured - Strength MWF, cardio/walking M-F and whatever

Second & Fouth week-Unstructured - whatever I feel I want to do and I feel my body needs

Have a wonderful day, week and month!  I am not going to be on quite as much, as this is just what my everything in me tells me I need to do.  I think I might be finally on a roll, but I need to not procrastinate. 

If you do not have a problem with constipation, then great.  But anyone who has a problem knows how uncomfortable it is and dealing is ESSENTIAL - both for your sanity/comfort and for your health.  I write this here because it has come to my attention that a number of people are having issues.  I have to work very hard to be regular and happy too.  I also think that Dr. Oz who has been on Oprah is awesome.  Though I have not read his book(s) he was brilliant when doing the poop talks on her show and so I can only assume the books are fantastic!

The purpose here is to help people who are stuck.   Happiness is the goal.  Somethings might be worth a try and then some will say, life is not worth living without that X-food or beverage or whatever.  We must enjoy and find the balance for our unique selves.   Usually the smallest changes can help.  Also, I come from a natural means of healing though in my life I am very much a middle ground thinker.  I am not of the allopathic vs. homeopathic camp.  There are good things to be taken from both schools.  I clearly think we are the sailors of our ships and our health though. 

What I know causes constipation for me and others things that can cause constipation:

-heavy meals - slows digestion

-lack of exercise

-inability to digest bread and dairy and prolonged consumption can even make it worse - good to have a varied diet. Plain active bacteria yogurt is better then milk.  I kid you not and I am getting use to it, but instead of milks, more and more I am adding yogurt and a little water or some kind of milk to my cereals.  I add different things to make it taste good like raisins, cut prunes, seeds, nuts, pineapple, ground flax or hemp seed, etc.).  I am even starting to prefer it and the results, though I had to convince myself it was good for me at first.  Actually I believe early on there was no milk of any kind in the house, so I tried it.  It grew on me….  :) 

-early intake of cow’s milk  (I share with you now, I have been constipated for the majority of my life and this is one of the reasons I chose to study Natural Nutrition.  Also intersting, babies who are breast fed ted to have less digestive issues.) 

-Early inappropriate foods and continued abuse of our guts creates a system that may not be able to function well.  Luckily our bodies are pretty forgiving.  A book I recommend to anyone who has digestive issues is Eating Alive by Dr. Matsen.  It is written in a fun way, but the information is serious and helpful.   MORE IMPORTANT THEN FOOD COMBINING IS CHEWING WELL! 

-chocolate, especially when combined with nuts - my weakness…. *sigh*

-constinuous meals and snacks that do not adhere to the principles of food combining - especially large amounts of meat that because all meats have a significant amount of protein and most have a moderate-high fat content, it really slows digestion and when mixed with carbs slows it down even further and may create fermentation in some individuals.  (yeast problems?   Nutrition, nutrition, nutrition….)

-a lot of fluids with meats (diluting hydrochloric acid -HCl) or not enough fluids with high fiber foods.  HCl in our stomach decreases with age.

 -impropper digeston beginning with not enough chewing - food should be a paste BEFORE swallowing, mixing as much saliva as possible. (25-50 times, may seem tedious, but it is your health!) This begins carbohydrate-sugar digestion and this is very important in not welcoming fermentation.

-high fat diet - fats slow down digestion more then carbs (fast) or protein (about 4-6 hours to digest)

-tea and coffee as they act as diuretcs (Though caffeine can also stimulate some people’s digestion. ??? - Still it is more diuretic I think.) 

-many medications (Tylenol, some heart and depression medications, … so many)

 -calcium without magnesium, and iron supplements

-aluminum (yikes - get that out of the diet or certainly reduce! Aluminum foil that comes into contact with food, pots/pans, antipersperants/deodorants,baking powders, bleached flour, processed cheese, antacids, breathing in dust when sanding from aluminum oxide sandpaper, beverages from aluminum cans)

-starchy fruit like bananas and some sources say cherries (though some say the opposite for both).  We are unique. 

-avoid tea with meal or high protein meals. The tea acids can toughen the protein and slow digestion  (I do like my tea….)

-avoid intense exercise, sleeping, bathing or walking around a lot after eat a meal. Right. *rolls eyes* Anyways, these all interfer with the bodies ability to digest propperly because blood is moved away from the middle of the body. Still I think if one is chewing well and not mixing huge amounts of fluid, one should be able to LIVE after eating….lol

-stopping smoking as nicotine can have a laxative effect.

-VARIOUS health problems

 -prolonged sress

-change in hormones

-pregnancy

-traveling

WHAT HELPS….The goal is to speed up digestion. Not decrease the ability of the body to absorb, but to allow the body to DO IT’S JOB! -digest, absorb and elliminate!

 -small meals are better

-limit sweets

-regular and small amounts of water over the course of the day. The standard 6-8 glasses is usually a good start. But water is individual and based on activity, climate, temperature, body weight etc. What is right for one, may not be right for another.

 -not mixing continual high carb and big protein meals or at least keeping the portions smaller. -limit breads if you think you might have problem digesting. NOT forever, but just for a month or so. Add back slowly. I find open faced sandwiches to be easily digested.  Though for awhile I am avoiding wheat.-limit cow’s milk/dairy except low fat quality yogurt (avoid thickeners) - get the real stuff. Ingredients should include milk and bacteria. NOTHING else. Fat free yogurts usually have thickeners. The last thing one needs is cornstarch and caragenum gum plugging you up  - yuck!

-add a good acidophilous supplement to aid in digestion or eat that yogurt

-magnesium rich foods and some take a supplement

-allow at least 3 hours though many sites and sources say 4-6 hours to digest meats before eating sugary foods and fruits (this is why small meals are better - less time to digest)

-eat fruits usually alone or with foods that have good bacteria (yogurt, kefir). Watch portions.  I semi adhere to this, but mostly I just listen to what is working with my body and what is not.

-pineapple and papaya have natural digestive enzymes so they can be eaten with anything. Chew well as with all food.

-low fat diet, but chose quality EFA foods (nuts, seeds, salmon, avocados, hemp seeds, nut butters) -some say grinding your own flaxseeds, though others find it can cause constipation.  (Not enough water maybe?) I am not sure about this, but everyone is certainly different. Still I think other factors cause constipation, not likely flax.  Most sources will say flax HELPS digestion.

-avoid eating fruit after a meal and also desserts. Save for another time? This is hard for me.  For those who have slow digestion, excess sugar is just bad news when residing with the slow and perhaps poorly digesting protein.  Irritable?  Yeasty?  Sorry, had to just put it out there. 

 -it is said that hard foods (require a lot of chewing) are better then huge amounts of liquids like shakes and soups. Again, I think variety and aiming for a less watered down day is ideal.  But, individual.

-high scratchy fiber foods can cause irritation/inflammation in the intestines so best not to overdo it. Eat a variety of different kinds of fiber rich foods and psyllium once in awhile can be helpful. Just do not cook with it, YUCK.  I ruined what would have been some good muffins cooking with psyllium… *rolls eyes*

-prunes, potatoes, carrot juice, apples, beets, vitamin C rich foods (tomatoes, potatoes, lemons, strawberries), lentils, chickpeas, portioned whole grains and start smaller (1/2 c)…. many other high fiber foods too.  A varied diet, high in fruits and vegetables with plenty of fiber and one’s appropriate amount of fluid is important.

-de-stress, yoga, pilates, regular exercise (In particular Hatha yoga can help the digestive system.)

-massage stomach, circular and pressing downward as one lays down or stands

I do not agree with Wikepedia’s suggestion that prolonged use of laxatives is okay. In fact it IS NOT! Best to deal with what is the cause of the problem then to continue a life style that is likely the main culprit. Still if one has a healthy life style and is still having problems then it is best to look at ways to deal. For those who are really suffering and have looked at everything, some substances are better then others. But seek medical advice!!! There are physical reasons one could having problems but in our current society of changing nutrition and stress (environmental and mental), it is likely that we can help ourselves with even slight changes in lifestyle.  THAT WITHOUT SAYING, I have had older clients (me as a caregiver) who have needed their laxatives.  Certainly quality of life  is vital. THESE are ideas and suggestions for those who struggle.  There are not so many ‘for sures’.  But good digestion is key in preventing many illnesses.  What can we do today to improve our digestion even a little?  Pick and choose from above and do your own research.   There is no clear idea of what is the ‘right’ amount or frequency for bowel movements (so my doctor said recently), but comfort is essential.  Sometimes the poofiness in the middle is a sign that digestion is a little or a lot poor.   Happy and smart eating and pooping!  If you know something that works in dealing with the problem, please share as you could be helping someone.  Thanks.My comments on this:  Chocolate, dairy and wheat I think has really done a number on me lately (yes, let’s blame the food, not!) and so I am doing a little tweaking of my diet.  Back to nature a little more…whole foods,….75% of the time?  Oh I think I can do that. 

 Nasty little puss!!!

 

Little freaky….

 

 

This candy and me alone in one room.  NOT going to happen.  

 

Other creepy/scary things……

My Date with a burger:

I really, really enjoyed my first (notice I did say NOT last) Big Bacon Classic last night from Wendy’s.  I mean I enjoyed it so much.  I do believe this is because I was so hungry and I did not wolf it down.  I savored every bite and when I was done, I felt great.   Priming a bathroom is active work….bending, stretching.  So, we ate out (our bad!!!) but I ate without guilt and without worries.  It was heaven and it is darn right creepy I found heaven in eating that and yet I still feel good about it.    Seriously, it is like a BLT with cheese and beef (no mayo - only because I do not like it goopy and half the onions).  YUM.  David was SO shocked I loved it.  So why is this so weird for me?  I do not usually feel like I want red meat.  It just does not appeal.  Last night I ate without judgment and I feel terrific (Intuitive Eating influence).  Today I eat with more intention and move my derriere!  More veggies for me…. today I want a nice salad.  It is nice that I can go with the flow and let my intuition determine my intake.  Can I lose weight this way?  A burger a couple times a month, eating healthy and  portion-minded…. Today I feel acceptance of my body.  Have not felt this lately.   I just choose to tighten things up a bit…. I love my thighs.  I love my thighs today!   

Today I paint the bathroom ‘kitten white’.  Yesterday (and lately)  I was so exhausted (for a variety of reasons, some unknown and creeping me out), get this, I let DAVID decide the bathroom color.  He chose ‘kitten white’ and I said, OK.  Hopefully this choice was not made hastily…..lol  We have been thinking about it forever and a day!!  I just could not decide.  I AM NOT PAINTING OVER IT.  Primer is NOT as thick as I think it should be I swear!  :)  Anyways, it is safe and I think we will LOVE our little spa retreat when it is finally done.  It will be done tonight I believe. 

Like I said, random and creepy……

Some freaky guy who is everywhere in my city – along the walking path sitting on the bench watching people go by and occasionally taking pictures with his big camera, once was at my work, has walked through our parking lot where we live, saw him at the Mac’s store behind our condo.  Though I usually see him in the cooler weather, I did see him that once walking with really really short shorts and pimp sunglasses.  Clearly he lives in my area.  Why is it that when you fear something or someone it is ever occurring?  Ok, I am somewhat paranoid, but it’s creepy!

 

Creepy and cool – “Don’t leave me.”  Says a woman I was caring for 2 weeks before she dies.  I feel it was a blessing that I was there with her when she finally went to a better place, but still…..maybe eerie more then creepy.

 

“GET OUT OF HERE OR I WILL…. *Falling to the floor with still that death glare* KILL YOU!” – 90 year old out-of-control client with dementia at 3AM.

 

Creepiest thing a guy ever said to a girl – “I just finished dinner and I thought it would be good dessert to gnaw on you.”   OK, I made this up.  The actual line delivered to me on my answering machine was “I just finished dinner and I thought it would be good dessert to talk to you.”   Haha…. Now which is creepiest?  Haha.. clearly I have the creepier mind.  He was  a cutey and very well behaved.

 

Creepy cool line in a movie – “I want to crack your head open and see what’s inside” (Jake Jyllenhaal in The Good Girl”).  I guess this makes me creepy for thinking this, but Jake is so cute and strange in this movie.

 

Sign that reads – “Trespassers will be eaten!”

 

When someone on a blog was asked what the meaning of life is - “Life is meaning less. You live, you learn, you get married, you had kids, you grow old, and you die. Life is meaning less.”  YIKES the cynicism of today’s youth!  lol  Anyways, tis creepy that when I have gotten into my funks, I think this way too.

RED RUM !!! - Love Jack!

 

Some creepy facts from “1001 horrible FACTS: A yukkopedia of gross truths about everything” by Anne Rooney

 

In the 1800s, it was common to mix ground bones into flour to make it go further.  (My thought is – animal bones? – how is this different then gelatin capsules or Jello?  Or was it not animal bones? YIKES.)

 

Honey is bee vomit.  Bees drink nectar from flowers which they turn into honey before sicking it back up to store in the hive.  (To all vegans or anyone ones who does not eat honey, Yah for you.   I guess it is the bees who might be laughing at us….hehe.  I love honey!)

 

There is a cheese called cabrales and when it is ‘con gusano’ it means it is crawling with maggots.  YUCKO!

 

In 1971, a man found the head of a mouse in a bar of chocolate.  (Poor mouse!  What a way to die. You just know there is a scary ghost mouse flying around torturing some chocolate factory employees!)

 

Marmite, an English spread for toast, is made with left-over yeasty sludge from brewing beer. Grief!

 

Yeast is tiny fungi (mould), present in bread, bear and wine.  The yeast eat sugar in the ingredients, making the gas which forms the bubbles in beer, wine and the holes in bread.

 

The Aztec dish tiacatalalli was a stew made from corn and human beings.  -all righty then!

 

Shiokara is Japanese dish made by fermenting squid in old fish guts.  (I love sushi, but me thinks this is not for me!)

 

And may you have no creepy crawlies in your meals today!  Hehe.

 

And I must not forget Dru!

 

Drusilla:  ”I met an old man.  Didn’t like him.  He got stuck in my teeth.  But then the Moon started whispering to me… All sorts of dreadful things.”  (from Buffy the Vampire Slayer)  - I love Drusilla.  She’s a vampire character and is drop dead gorgeous and oh so hilarious, but the words she speaks can be deadly creepy.

 

Spike is not so bad himself ;)  (Note: Spike is the opposite of creepy…hehe.  My opinion.)

All things creepy can appear beautiful and all things beautiful can be creepy, disguised.  

And though it is early, Happy Halloween !!!

 P.S.: Apparently Buddyslim is creepy too because it placed this blog second after my last blog post on my homepage.  Gremlins I tell ya!

 

 

Festive Literature –

 

http://listverse.com/literature/top-10-creepiest-tales-of-edgar-allan-poe/  -the literary crafter of creepy….  Great find and I thought I would share.

So I want to write something quick and yet do not know what to say. It feels like I am just now talking to a new friend I have not seen in awhile. What to say?

I have been frustrated and I do not want sympathy, please! But just wanted to share that I injured my knee again, same thing and they will not do anything for it, they can’t they say. SO I NEED TO BE CAREFUL! No I was not even doing a sport, I was climbing up one very high step of a bleacher to watch a baseball game and just twisted it wrong. Not only that, instead of resting it properly I went a little hard with life when I should have just sat on my butt for awhile. So yesterday was a sit on my butt day drugged out on some most pleasant medication that actually helped me to keep my behind glued to the couch and bed. Seriously I felt drunk for much of the day. It feels so much better today. BUT I KNOW I MUST BE CAREFUL.

I have had some other health issues that have lead me to need to do a bit of a cleanse. Nasty cravings!! I am using food and as much activity as I can to cleanse/detox and get better. One way to really detox is to sweat a lot and work the big muscles (I can not work my quads…. *tear, tear*). Well since I am trying to take it easy with any kind of impact, this is tough. I am looking to the Wildcat activity chart and giving it my all, with in reason. Seriously I have been slacking and it is time to work on my strength and flexibility a little. Could I have re-injured myself because I have let certain activities fall from my routine? Perhaps. Could be just an old injury (my Mom has the same thing I just found out - weird!). Matters not now. Now it is time to get at it and make it better.

Study, workout, read blogs at lunch time, study and go to book club tonight. Missed Canadian Idol last night. Yes I am watching it and loving it like the older gal I am. I hear from some young people that it is so yesterday……lol Well I guess I never use to watch it, but now it is a part of my week. I should be able to see it soon. *grins*

So have a great week everyone! It is time for a loss

Setting my goals has not really been working.  I know how I want to eat and it is spiritually, emotionally and environmentally directed.  I need this for myself.  If one lives by any kind of morals then it should make things a lot easier when it comes to choices, right?  Ha, yeh right!  Well I am hoping.  I am tired of feeling selfish and over indulgent.  I know George is visiting soon, Good old George, but I have not worn the fat pants is a darn long time.  Time to think like the Buddha would and get real with myself.   I desire more for myself then the instant gratification that is over and done with before the sweetness is even swallowed.  NO MORE.  Where is my temple that was so near?  No more.

I am not sad.  I am glad to see things so clearly.   This is my new moment to progress not digress.
Only positive thoughts.

On the news of exercise because the other was a tadpole short of ideal, I walked and walked around downtown checking out the street fair.  Found some cheap books that I am really excited about.  So I would say my knee is MUCH better.   I need to get back into shape though.   This is the longest I have ever gone being so sedentary and I will never take for granted again the ability to MOVE and MOVE a lot.  The excess on my legs and behind let me know today that I have had ENOUGH!

And so I ask myself each time I eat this week, “is that Temple-quality food?” or “is this Earth-friendly food?”  I even made the cards to remind me.  I have a short memory sometimes.  *rolls eyes*………

Respect?   Oh yes I do deserve it.

My blog did not post so this is the short. Sugar is my drug and I am staying completely clear of it. This substance serves no good purpose anyways other then changing my brain so that I feel more like a depressed monster instead of a well functioning person.

I am aiming for 50-30-20 (c-p-f) and really trying to eat plenty of protein rich foods - like eggs, egg whites, sardines, fish, legumes, veggies and yogurt. When I am feeling like my happy self again I will go back to a more vegetarian type diet. I still feel better with vegetarian, but I need to feel balanced again. So this is my medicine. Food in the right portions, at the right times and with the right intention. Feed the hunger!

I recommend once again - Optimum Nutrition for the Mind by Patrick Holford

http://www.google.ca/search?hl=en&q=Optimal+Nutrition+for++the+mind&btnG=Google+Search&meta=

And thank you Shanna for this link…..

http://www.radiantrecovery.com/

It takes a little time to feel well again but a balanced diet seems ideal for me. For those who seem to constantly struggle ( I mean I know how to feel good, this is not my normal state) I highly recommend seeing a doctor or nutritionist who will test you for imbalances - chemical/nutrient excess and deficiencies. The thing is doctors often do not know and things go unrecognized and so much is unknown. Check on the book online. It is a shame for us to suffer unnecessarily. I am working to get myself back to the old me. Exercise, proper nutrition, the vitamins that are right for me, good sleep and ideal ways to deal with stress. NO SUGAR. Appetite is not completely back, but exercise will help because I know not eating properly will surely cause me to gain! Experience.

Early this AM a walk helped to clear my head a bit. Hope you are doing well. *hug*

I have made some very poor choices and I just can not take it anymore. I felt so aweful. Yesterday I learned that JUNK= anxiety, bloatedness, general crumbiness and then after this crappy day I felt like I could not get to sleep. SO what is today like? Well I already know that a nap is scheduled for me when ever I need, because I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE THIS SPIRAL INTO AN ILLNESS. I let stress get to me and this is such a poor excuse, but I did. I guess I have never felt like I hated junk foods (brownies, dairy, bread….. that was about it, but just YUCK. Not agreeing with me, SO I NEED TO LISTEN TO THE FEEDBACK!), but I dislike them in me. So what is it going to take for me to not turn to this crap? Do I need to become diseased? I really hope not. My plan which is what I am working on for a lifestyle is starting today. It is not tough for me only because I have eaten like this for a long time, but the key is to maintain it. I need to get cleansed. I researched the many recipes out there and to be honest they may not be for me. I have low blood pressure as it is and I do not need to be falling down with a lack of calories and ancient remedies that say they revive a toxic liver. I just am going to eat well and exercise. Not so hard. For my stress, I am getting back to reading my book, A New Earth. I was dealing so well with all of life’s stresses and then I put it down while I worked on other priorities. Well that was just poor for my self growth. I am opening my mind again to a deeper existence. One where perhaps I will think, breathe and let it all go instead of ingesting sugars and fats, only to feel ill in the end.

No more floundering….. Time for a life long plan that will work for me, I know, because I when I have done it, I have felt the best I have ever felt! But, I am SERIOUSLY starting to realize that the treats do not even feel so nice inside. There is not even the same pleasure in the moment. Just overly sugary waste!

The plan is to be on plan for 6 out of 7 days. No if’s, and’s or but’s about it! On my “off” day, I am not truly off, but I can have a meal, plus a small treat (IF SO DESIRED). But if I chose to eat out, the food I pick will still not be the problem foods for awhile. There is a lovely East Indian restaurant where I can have some nice vegetarian, dairy and bread free foods that are to die for. Other options exist. Love Mexican! Not every meal can be “off” plan on this day or I will seriously feel crappy. But, it will be there if I want. For 6 days I feed myself well. Heal. Become energized and feel like my body is alive, instead of feeling irritated.

I am thinking RAW and will lightly steam the tough vegetables for good digestion.

WHOLE FOODS. Are brown rice cakes whole? I think not, but then there is some common sense allotted here.

Decent food combining most of the time. No meat with complex carbs. Good solid vegetarian food combining for energy and protein. Fruits alone and not within 4 hours or so after protein. Pineapple and papaya are the exceptions if so desired.

Chew food well, 20-50 times depending of course on the food.

NO SUGAR, FLOUR, BREAD WHEAT PRODUCTS, CAFFEINE OF ANY KIND for a good damn long time.

NO DAIRY, except yogurt.

8-12 servings of fruits and veggies per day.

A little good healthy fat, my omegas

30-50 grams of fiber per day. Not actually going to keep track long term, but for a few days just to get a feel for what is good. I know I need a lot. (Beans, lentils, chickpeas, fruit, vegetables, psyllium, grains…) I had no flatulence when I was eating well. It only came back when I started to eat junk. Even eating all the legumes, NOTHING. Cool! One of my faves is beans in tomato sauce and it does have added sugar, that is one of the worst. Nasty! T.M.I….lol But like you weren’t thinking it!

Continue to drink my water and herbal teas between meals as to not dilute my stomach juices when I eat. Sips of course are fine, but no diluting.

Vitamins.

Appreciate and give thanks for all that I have.

Back to a happy me….. I really did need to feel rotten to get back to a more relaxed and healthier way of living. Eating well is not a strain! I do not want dead and deadening food in me. I do not want toxins floundering in my blood doing damage and this is what sugary junk foods and chemicals do….. they overwhelm our organs like our Liver and then all systems do not do as well as they could otherwise. For instance, our metabolism can slow down when our Liver becomes sluggish. I want a healthy metabolism. I want a healthy me. I deserve to be healthy, despite what my screwed up ego of a mind tells me sometimes.

Wow…. RELIEF. I do not feel sad or frustrated. I just needed to feel and know where I want to be. My body yelled and I will respect this.

Next section in my course…. Optimal Nutrition for the Mind. Looks great and I am excited to start it. I love it when statements are backed up with really good studies and I feel really confident with the contents…. from just doing a quick overview of it.

Bowling yesterday was GREAT. I mean I was awful! Plum awful. I have not bowled since I was 10 years old, but it was good. So much fun. But I noticed with all the sugar I had before we went out (EE for completely stupid reasons), I really felt anxious. Still good times and I can not wait to go again. I swear I used different muscles then when I play the Wii and it really was, well a good workout. The shoes fit nice too. Almost wanted to take them home…lol

Have a great weekend everyone. Hope it is sunny where you are. Looks amazing here so I am going to make myself a fresh juice, start a crockpot of slow simmering vegetable soup/broth and enjoy the day…. outside, with a book, tidying a little. Might go play mini golf. David seems to think that I would get a rush out of doing some target practice. Good lord, either he knows me too well or I do not know me at all. We will see what adventures we can find. I am opting for mini golf, but I am into stepping outside my box these days, like a younger me would have done …… I may give almost anything a whirl! *smiles* Have a great one!